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  • TUESDAY JULY 11 2006 2:00 PM

A Keyboard for Squids and Cyborgs!

Tags: keyboards, tech, toys

I can't help but look at this and ask myself, is this a joke? Do cephalopod actually use computers? Or is there a strain of super humans with spectacular finger mobility out there in need of a keyboard just for them? Thinkgeek.com is out to make life easier through a complicated looking new keyboard.

If you hold your hand up, and look at your fingers, they do not create a straight line. Each of your fingers has a different length. With a conventional keyboard, you have to contort your fingers to flatten out to allow you to type. This contortion of your fingers is one of the main reasons people end up with repetitive stress injuries (RSI). With a conventional keyboard you have to conform to the keyboard, instead of the keyboard conforming to your fingers. With the Maltron keyboard, the keyboard conforms to your fingers for increased comfort and even improved typing speed.



The keyboard conforms to my fingers? Is it made of delicious pudding or memory foam? Can I take it apart and use it to fill up the holes in my mattress that my cat ate?

With a conventional keyboard, only 8 of the 10 fingers get used. With the Maltron Keyboard your thumbs get more use then a conventional keyboard. Additionally, with a the keys being placed in a position more suitable to fit your fingers, you will be able to type faster. Many users report that the Maltron keyboard increased their speed by 20%, though each individual person will experience different results.



I will say I'm curious. Partially. If I could type 20% faster? Oh man, think of what I could do. 20% more ... efficient emails? IMs? Hot cyber chatting?! Can't say when it comes to my coding, I really look to type faster.

Maltron is offering this geeky new keyboard for a mere $489.99 . Now you can wow or horrify your friends with this curious gizmo!

 

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Comments
Darke

Darke

Columbia, MO
June 2005

JUL 11, 2006 02:01 PM

Cool! When they get a helluva lot cheaper, I'll buy one.

Scopitone

Scopitone

Irvine, CA
OLD SKOOL

JUL 11, 2006 02:03 PM

I can't fucking imagine how that works.

benizdead

benizdead

United Kingdom
February 2003

JUL 11, 2006 02:08 PM

bollox to it! 20% more efficient? your dipstick manager buys it for you as yet another hare-brained cost saving method, you don't have a clue how to use it 'cause you're normal and you end up sacked for being 'inefficient' as an excuse to cover up the barmy asking price!

Boring, mis-key prone keyboards rule

crispy

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JUL 11, 2006 02:22 PM

I used to hate when I'd go on-site to do repairs or training or whatever and someone had one of those old Microsoft ergonomic keyboards. Hell, I can barely type as it is (I'm not a "classically trained" typist ... more like advanced hunt and peck) and those things confused the ever-living hell out of me. I think this thing would make my head asplode.

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

JUL 11, 2006 02:31 PM

boo to that. i had a keyboard for a little while that was split down the middle and angled with a blank triangle section in the middle. it felt like a dream on the wrists and elbows, because it made the positioning more like eating or drawing.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 11, 2006 02:33 PM

Welcome to thirty years ago. smile

If you really want to type faster, learn Dvorak.

And this from someone who can type 100 wpm on a conventional keyboard.

Posh

Posh

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

JUL 11, 2006 03:07 PM

i seriously miss simple keyboards. i don't want fancy extra buttons that will visit a random website. give me a keyboard that will fetch me tea or coffee at the press of a button. please. not goddamn ebay.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 11, 2006 03:16 PM

I do really like keyboards with Media buttons, like forward, back, and especially volume. Opening up my browser is nice, too. But on my laptop, on either side of the Up key are Forward and Back buttons for my browser, and they can really fuck me up, especially when using forums or web based e-mail.

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

JUL 11, 2006 03:19 PM

Posh said:
i seriously miss simple keyboards. i don't want fancy extra buttons that will visit a random website. give me a keyboard that will fetch me tea or coffee at the press of a button. please. not goddamn ebay.



radio shack PROMISED us robots! where are our robots!

geo35

geo35

Minneapolis, MN
January 2003

JUL 11, 2006 03:32 PM

Listen to Clov's first post.

The QWERTY keyboard - the configuration we all use - was deliberately set up as it is to intentionally slow you down. That's because the first typewriters were mechanical beasts that would get jammed up if you typed too fast. (Yes, I'm old enough to have started on those freakin' things when I was a young teen). Why in gawd's name we continue to use QWERTY keyboards is beyond me. The answer, supposedly, is the DVORAK keyboard. As explained at Wikipedia, Dvorak studied letter frequencies and the physiology of the hand and created the layout to adhere to these principles.

So if someone is going to invent a more ergonomic keyboard, they should start with not just a new physical layout, but with a new configuration -like DVORAK - that allows you to type faster because it's a more intuitive layout of the alphabet.

Of course, if we did things logically, we'd be on the metric system and rap artists would have to get jobs and the inventor of "casual day" would be doing 15 to 20 at Leavenworth, so what do I know?

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

JUL 11, 2006 04:15 PM

Posh said:
i seriously miss simple keyboards. i don't want fancy extra buttons that will visit a random website. give me a keyboard that will fetch me tea or coffee at the press of a button. please. not goddamn ebay.



ebay? You should be so lucky smile

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

"Hi! Today at manfucksgoat.com, we've got a special for you!"

The lawsuits should be fun to watch smile



crispy

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JUL 11, 2006 04:16 PM

TEAM QWERTY!!

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 11, 2006 04:24 PM

geo35 said:

Of course, if we did things logically... rap artists would have to get jobs



surreal

Vestril

Vestril

Coronado, CA
February 2003

JUL 11, 2006 04:24 PM

Isn't this the same thing, yet cheaper? A lot cheaper?

http://www.teleprint.com/

LouPole

LouPole

New York, NY
February 2004

JUL 11, 2006 05:33 PM

Hmmm...I used a keyboard similar to this about 10 years ago - it was called the Kinesis Keyboard and it launched commercially in 1992. I think this is a new, very expensive update to a relatively old concept (as far as keyboard design is concerned). Just my $0.02, but i would stick to Vestril's suggestion at $175.

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