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Halo 2 Team Makes One Million Fucking Dollars

THURSDAY JUNE 22 2006 8:00 AM

Submitted by Seanbaby. Edited By Seanbaby.

MLG, the largest professional video games league, has just awarded its champion four person Halo 2 team, Final Boss, with a $1 million contract. To help gamers put that into perspective, that's 9,873 bags of pot and 32 orders of cinnamon twists. The Final Boss team leader, Walshy, told reporters:

"Three years ago I never could have imagined that I'd be making more money than my parents playing video games!"

The million dollar contract states that Final Boss can only play in MLG competitions, and if necessary, must defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.

A rival team, Str8 Rippin' also got a huge contract, with their team leader Tsquared signing a $250,00 deal. Str8 Rippin' was the only team to beat Final Boss in the 2005 season, although I think they were called StK or Team 3D that year. I don't know-- it's hard to keep up when everyone sounds like they stole their names from rappers on Star Search Kids. Ah, I'm just a little pissed because they're rich AND they can kill the shit out of me.

15 Comments

Landed

I'm lost

March 2006

JUN 22, 2006 08:24 AM

I'll murder them at "PGR3".

thefaintjoy

Tampa, FL

May 2006

JUN 22, 2006 09:04 AM

To help gamers put that into perspective, that's 9,873 bags of pot and 32 orders of cinnamon twists.

please clarify the size of said bags? and are these cinnamon twists from taco bell?

Ziltoid

Australia

April 2006

JUN 22, 2006 09:09 AM

Fuck Halo. Someone start a Super Smash Bros. league plz.

rabidrabbit

United Kingdom

April 2006

JUN 22, 2006 09:15 AM

Chaolin said:
Fuck Halo. Someone start a Super Smash Bros. league plz.

Bollocks to both of them we need SNES Super Tennis league, that's one game I can beat anyone at

Ziltoid

Australia

April 2006

JUN 22, 2006 09:30 AM

spamtwo said:

Chaolin said:
Fuck Halo. Someone start a Super Smash Bros. league plz.

Bollocks to both of them we need SNES Super Tennis league, that's one game I can beat anyone at

How about Sega Mega Drive NBA Jam? or GOLDENEYE!

ninjatoes

Newport, KY

August 2005

JUN 22, 2006 09:52 AM

Amplitude.

I'll school all your asses.

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA

October 2005

JUN 22, 2006 09:55 AM

I still haven't found that one videogame in which I'm better than everyone else.

Alecks

Visalia, CA

October 2004

JUN 22, 2006 10:11 AM

they can all go frag themselves

=-> Alecks

PointBlank

New York, NY

November 2004

JUN 22, 2006 10:17 AM

Loser at Galaga buys next round.

Krass_of_nod

Bend, OR

April 2005

JUN 22, 2006 10:40 AM

thefaintjoy said:

To help gamers put that into perspective, that's 9,873 bags of pot and 32 orders of cinnamon twists.

please clarify the size of said bags? and are these cinnamon twists from taco bell?

oh hell yeh I figure 9,873x 100 (going price of a quarter ounce, subject to change depending on state and location) is about
987,000 so that still leaves you 13,000 to get the munchies taken care of

thefaintjoy

Tampa, FL

May 2006

JUN 22, 2006 10:54 AM

Krass_of_nod said:

thefaintjoy said:

To help gamers put that into perspective, that's 9,873 bags of pot and 32 orders of cinnamon twists.

please clarify the size of said bags? and are these cinnamon twists from taco bell?

oh hell yeh I figure 9,873x 100 (going price of a quarter ounce, subject to change depending on state and location) is about
987,000 so that still leaves you 13,000 to get the munchies taken care of

indeed. you can buy a big fucking whopper with that. and besides everyone knows that munchies are best disposed off with triscuts.

i do feel akward about the subject of a million dollar contract to play video games. for the first time in my adult life, outside of a personal relationship, i am incredibly jealous.

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH

April 2004

JUN 22, 2006 11:05 AM

Seanbaby said:

"Three years ago I never could have imagined that I'd be making more money than my parents playing video games!"

Dude, almost anyone could make more money than their parents playing video games. My parents don't even play video games, how are they supposed to make money doing it? They'd suck! I could beat my mom in Tekken in like five seconds and I'm not even any good at it!