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  • SATURDAY MAY 20 2006 3:00 AM

Asshole Interviewed About Columbine Video Game

Submitted by Seanbaby

Edited by Rahodeb

It doesn't take a soccer mom to think Super Columbine Massacre RPG is insensitive. It's a cartoony video game released on the 6th anniversary of the shooting last year where the player controls Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold as they kill their classmates and teachers.

If you're wondering how horrible it actually is, it's several steps beyond offensive, and officially categorized by sensitivity watchdogs as "one of the Dark Tasks required to resurrect Hitler."

Its recent surge of popularity has not only hurt ticket sales to industry rival, The Brain Cancer Tap and Variety Show, it's inspired Rocky Mountain News to interview the creator. You should really read this self-indulgent, bullshit interview.

I especially enjoy the creator's overuse of words you never hear outside the world of stupid person trying to sound smart. For example, when pleading with the reader to understand why he made the game, this dick explains,

"This may seem like a tautology to even mention but it's resoundingly true... I didn't fit in and I was surrounded by a culture of elitism as espoused by our school's athletes."



I may have spotted this oppressed attention whore's problem. People might like him more if he picked words that English speakers use instead of trolling the Please Think I'm Smart Thesaurus For Douches. For fuck's sake, he made a cute game about a national tragedy-- people are desperate enough to hate him without him taking 380 syllables to describe the most universal high school stereotype in the history of social interaction.

"I think the ultimate purpose of the game is to promote real dialogue on the subjects of school shootings, violence, retribution, media coverage, and many others."


Did this have a prayer of convincing anyone? You don't add video games to an already over-discussed issues to promote a real dialogue. That's like digging up a dead body to have sex with it to promote awareness of necrophilia laws. You're just an asshole who invented a duh machine.

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Comments
Clio

Clio

SUICIDEGIRL

Netherlands

MAY 20, 2006 03:10 AM

What a creep. skull

cyberomega

cyberomega

United Kingdom
November 2005

MAY 20, 2006 03:25 AM

Need a picture of this guy so someone can make a free web based game where you are able to kill him in a number of grotesque ways. Maybe the highest points should be from force-feeding him a thesaurus and them sodomising him to death.



[Edited on May 20, 2006 3:25AM]

unredeemed

unredeemed

New York, NY
November 2003

MAY 20, 2006 03:26 AM

Just another low-life (and really, I can't think of many things lower than this) looking to make a buck off of shock. Any press is good press in his eyes... including this.

Baletempest

Baletempest

United Kingdom
February 2005

MAY 20, 2006 03:39 AM

puke

Mark_plus_Beer

Mark_plus_Beer

United Kingdom
August 2005

MAY 20, 2006 03:44 AM

Just WHY ??

shocked

Escrix

Escrix

I'm lost
September 2005

MAY 20, 2006 03:46 AM

Blar to that game. Blar and forget. Once it is forgotten by all, itself included, it ceases exsistance.

Song

Song

Altadena, CA
November 2004

MAY 20, 2006 03:57 AM

poor sad little douche - yet somehow i fell no sympathy for him at all wink

Belllla

Belllla

Houston, TX
February 2004

MAY 20, 2006 03:58 AM

Barf... puke

James_

James_

United Kingdom
March 2003

MAY 20, 2006 04:00 AM

I actually bothered to play the game before judging it, and found it to be far less black and white than that. There is a lot of contrast between the cartoony graphics, and real life interludes, including one of the killers lying dead, that give the game a lot of emotional impact.

Books and covers people, remember?

plastictrees

plastictrees

Canada
February 2005

MAY 20, 2006 04:06 AM


The Palm d' Orre at Cannes in 2002 was "Bowling for Columbine" and in 2003 was "Elephant." Why, then, ought not a videogame be made of the same award-winning subject matter? The silence is deafening.



What a douche. Look at him try to dredge up credibility by refusing to distinguish subject matter from the treatment of that subject matter.



To be fair, though, the larger question here is "why do you have gamers playing as killers who massacre innocent people?" The answer: I think this is a great way to confront people's moral sensibilities. You must CHOOSE to kill in SCMRPG. You have to chase down your victims. You carry shotguns and they run away from you, unarmed, making a bloody gurgling noise when you kill them. Do you feel guilty? Do you kill one of them or fifty? The choice is entirely yours.



Really? So can we choose not to kill anyone and just go to class? To even come close to achieving the sort of game he imagines he's created it would have to be completely open ended, dropping the gamer into the shoes of the potential murderers days or weeks before it happened and deciding how you would react in those circumstances. As it is it's a sadly successful attempt to get people to play his crappy game.


I have a variety of jobs that are media-related.



He delivers newspapers.

Read the comments following the article if humanity doesn't depress you enough already.

Crivelli

Crivelli

United Kingdom
January 2005

MAY 20, 2006 04:07 AM

James_ said:
I actually bothered to play the game before judging it, and found it to be far less black and white than that. There is a lot of contrast between the cartoony graphics, and real life interludes, including one of the killers lying dead, that give the game a lot of emotional impact.

Books and covers people, remember?


Thing is, I wouldn't play the game not even out of mawkish curiosity because it just sounds like someone created a crap 'shooter' and then tied it in to Columbine to get publicity. A case of 'whatever'.

Takeahnase

Takeahnase

United Kingdom
May 2006

MAY 20, 2006 04:36 AM

I'm getting the strangest sense that this guy is just a pathetic, obsessive freak. I mean, Dylan and Eric were "two boys who were at times very thoughtful, sensitive, and intelligent young men." Is it just me, or is that akin to saying, "Yeah, Hitler, what a dick, but I heard he had a great sense of humour"?

I'm just gonna ignore the game cos, frankly, it isn't worth the effort, but the fact that this sad little fucker's out there is a wee bit worrying.

sebastian6

sebastian6

Boulder, CO
October 2003

MAY 20, 2006 06:56 AM

who here is "cool"?

Nokturn

Nokturn

United Kingdom
April 2006

MAY 20, 2006 07:00 AM

"This may seem like a tautology to even mention but it's resoundingly true... I didn't fit in and I was surrounded by a culture of elitism as espoused by our school's athletes."


You know, at this point most kids with balls just kill themselves or get over it. skull

Kinto

Kinto

Marina Del Rey, CA
February 2003

MAY 20, 2006 07:17 AM



Pathetic & hilarious at the same time shocked

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