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  • WEDNESDAY JANUARY 25 2006 8:00 AM

Global Warming Threatens MY BOOZE!

I've only been peripherally aware of global warming. Sure, 2005 was the hottest year on record. It was probably right up there for natural disasters as well, ranging from tsunamis to earthquakes to massive hurricane seasons. But it doesn't, you know, AFFECT me. I don't live with the emperor penguins on the ice shelves. And like Bush and Company, I tend to brush off accusations from liberal nancyheaded *cough cough* former EPA chiefs *cough* that the current policies are ruining the environment and possibly sliding the globe into a drastic environmental disaster. And anyway, according to the experts, the Kyoto Accord was fatally flawed. Honest.

I mean, I don't lick tree frogs from the Amazon to see the pretty colors. And while I don't buy the Bush administration's repeated assertions that "we're already doing all that Kyoto Accord stuff anyway", I also know that China's current pollution standard sits approximately one notch above "airborne sewage", and that a road trip in New Delhi makes LA smog incense by comparison.

But it's ON NOW. No Excursion-driving "Support Our Troops" wanker is taking away my Knob Creek.

from OnEarth.org



Since the Whiskey Rebellion of 1794, when farmers of Scottish and Irish descent tarred and feathered government excise collectors, Kentuckians have fought hard for their bourbon. Federal law makes it very clear that unless your whiskey is made from a mash containing 51 percent to 79 percent corn and produced and stored for at least one of its two years of aging in Kentucky, you can't call it Kentucky bourbon. But if a recent study conducted for the Commonwealth of Kentucky is correct, global warming may soon make it impossible to produce good Kentucky bourbon -- at least in Kentucky.

According to the author, Mike Jones, a researcher at American University, a bourbon's distinctive Kentucky flavor comes from the seasonal warming and cooling of the whiskey during its aging. This is done in white oak barrels that have been "toasted" in order to caramelize the sugars in the wood and then charred on the inside to impart flavor to the whiskey during storage. "When the temperature rises in the summer, the bourbon expands," Jones says, "and with lower temperatures in the winter, it contracts. This movement gives the bourbon its amber color and oak flavor."

Producers consider these temperature variations so critical that during the course of their storage, barrels are shifted from the lower racks in the warehouse to the upper racks. However, the 3-degree Fahrenheit average temperature increase predicted for the state over the next 100 years will mean less variation between winter and summer temperatures. The study's sorry conclusion: "In the future, global warming may affect the weather patterns which are essential in Kentucky for the aging process."

It's yet another reason to cut back on carbon emissions -- your driving may be affecting your drinking.

-- Bruce Stutz, OnEarth (www.ndrc.org)



Although I do have to wonder why the state of Kentucky felt it neccessary to study global warming only in context of bourbon manufacturing.

 

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Comments
DarrenDragon

DarrenDragon

Owensboro, KY
December 2002

JAN 25, 2006 11:24 AM

PointBlank said:

skinwalker said:

Helter said:
Wasn't the Whiskey Rebellion in Pennsylvania, rather than Kentucky.


The author of that article obviously went to public schools here in the Commonwealth.


Interestingly, the Whiskey Rebellion (or at least the suppression thereof) was largely responsible for the rise of whiskey distilleries springing up in the lawless territories of places like Kentucky and Tennessee.


Gee, thanks. I was just trying to be funny, and here you go ruining it with your "logic". You, sir, have hurt my feelings. Now I'm gonna go make the pain go away by drinking whats left of my Wild Turkey. frown tongue

ASSH0LE

ASSH0LE

Las Vegas, NV
June 2003

JAN 25, 2006 07:49 PM

Taureolt said:
i guess jack daniels is ok. no need to worry.



Jack Daniels isn't bourbon. It's Tenessee Whiskey.


[Edited on Jan 25, 2006 7:46PM]

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JAN 25, 2006 08:56 PM

Timer said:

Taureolt said:
i guess jack daniels is ok. no need to worry.



Jack Daniels isn't bourbon. It's Tenessee Whiskey.


[Edited on Jan 25, 2006 7:46PM]


Ham & Turkey both make me sleepy. Bourbon and whiskey both make me drunk. no need to worry. There's still vodka.

SonOfMorrissey

SonOfMorrissey

Carmichael, CA
November 2003

JAN 25, 2006 09:03 PM

So this won't affect my Gin then? biggrin

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JAN 25, 2006 09:07 PM

SoM said:
So this won't affect my Gin then? biggrin


Nah, not at all. I recently tried bombay sapphire and found it to be smoother, wetter than tanqueray. Ever noticed the difference? However, tanqueray feels better with a dominican cigar. Gin & tonic w/ lime wedge in my fave gin drink. what's your's?

NatasKaput

NatasKaput

Bozeman, MT
December 2002

JAN 25, 2006 09:10 PM

funny we are haveing record snowfall this season

[Edited on Jan 25, 2006 by NatasKaput]

zymyrgy

zymyrgy

Seattle, WA
January 2006

JAN 25, 2006 10:08 PM

MightyTick said:
I'm going to buy me a bottle of Bookers to sit in the basement so that 50 years from now I'll be able to remember what bourbon was...



Not really a good idea. Most liquors don't age like wines do - therefore a 25-year old scotch will lose flavor and subtleties, whereas a 12-year old scotch will keep itself nicely flavorful. You might have a flavor of what was "kind of" bourbon in fifty years, but it won't taste anything like you remember precisely because it, like any other whiskey, blands itself out over time.

Pity, ain't it?

Al

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

JAN 25, 2006 10:17 PM

Taureolt said:
i guess jack daniels is ok. no need to worry.


Yeah, it's cool, Tennessee whiskey is not effected by global warming.

Trevallion

Trevallion

Murfreesboro, TN
February 2004

JAN 25, 2006 10:18 PM

Al said:

Taureolt said:
i guess jack daniels is ok. no need to worry.


Yeah, it's cool, Tennessee whiskey is not effected by global warming.



Mostly because it's hard to make crap worse than it already is.

Oh, that was a joke, so don't go jumping down my throat people. My hometown is like an hour from the Jack Daniels distiller in Tennessee.

[Edited on Jan 25, 2006 by Trevallion]

Oskar

Oskar

United Kingdom
February 2005

JAN 25, 2006 11:20 PM

Taureolt said:

SoM said:
So this won't affect my Gin then? biggrin


Nah, not at all. I recently tried bombay sapphire and found it to be smoother, wetter than tanqueray. Ever noticed the difference? However, tanqueray feels better with a dominican cigar. Gin & tonic w/ lime wedge in my fave gin drink. what's your's?





Gin Martinis all the way.
Fuck Vodka.

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