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Celebs Whining About HDTV

MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2005 6:00 PM

Submitted by WilWheaton. Edited By WilWheaton.

Celebrities are upset that HDTV reveals the shocking truth: they look just like the rest of us, but with better make-up. Everyone get out your personal copy of the world's smallest violin.

Phillip Swann writes,

For decades, the Hollywood glamour machine has been able to dictate who is considered beautiful and who is not. Using soft lighting in TV and movie appearances, and magazine photo shoots, Hollywood has been able to create the impression that some people are better looking than they really are.

[. . .]

HDTV, which provides a picture up to six times clearer than normal television, viewers for the first time can see celebrities as they look in real life. Make-up can only do so much in high-def.

Consequently, as more people get HDTVs, the Hollywood glamour machine might have to go into the shop for a few repairs. Rather than trying to make stars out of ordinary looking people, the studios and networks might have to place their bets on individuals who are naturally beautiful, those who will look great in any setting, including high-def.

Swann links to an interview he gave London's Daily Telegraph, which goes even further:

"With high-definition television facial imperfections and ageing signs are dramatically visible." He said many celebrities were "scared to death" by the technology.

"New make-up techniques are being worked on and I get e-mails from actors expressing concern because they are going on shows in high definition and it's not like going on regular TV - it's like being naked. You think Cameron Diaz is flawless until you see her in high definition. She looks like a different person."

Swann recently produced a scathing analysis of stars' high-definition looks. They included Demi Moore, whose complexion was described as "coarse and leathery", and Donald Trump, who appeared "puffed up � and covered with an odd mixture of orange and white".

Heather Locklear was cited as "a classic case of the HDTV effect. In regular TV, she still looks great, sexy as ever. But in high-def, the ageing lines and wrinkles are everywhere." Top of his list was Teri Hatcher, the Desperate Housewives actress, who is described as looking "really desperate". Hatcher's forehead is said to have "bulging veins, making it look like a page from a road map".

Swann says Mischa Barton, Anna Kournikova, Eva Longoria, Catherine Zeta Jones and Jessica Alba all hold up in HDTV.

When I was heavily involved in promotional appearances for things like Star Trek, I was constantly amazed by the celebrities I'd meet in green rooms. Some of the most beautiful women on television were absolute gargoyles without the right lighting and make-up, and just about every leading man in the industry was much shorter, more balding, and closer to average than anyone would ever expect.

63 Comments

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Mike

Titusville, FL

OLD SKOOL

DEC 06, 2005 04:38 AM

WilWheaton said:
When I was heavily involved in promotional appearances for things like Star Trek, I was constantly amazed by the celebrities I'd meet in green rooms. Some of the most beautiful women on television were absolute gargoyles without the right lighting and make-up, and just about every leading man in the industry was much shorter, more balding, and closer to average than anyone would ever expect.

Was this part supposed to be funny?

xfinitex

East Lansing, MI

August 2005

DEC 06, 2005 05:43 AM

Makes sense. I was counting nose hairs on some guy on PBS the other day.

Vampirate

Durham, NC

October 2004

DEC 06, 2005 05:59 AM

Walker said:
So I would be what twice the ugly or three times the ugly?

For some reason, I want to say that six times the definition will come out to 36 times the ugly.

DeadBilly

Burnt Cabins, PA

February 2004

DEC 06, 2005 07:34 AM

This is my schadenfreude moment of the day.

cayce

I'm lost

November 2004

DEC 06, 2005 07:52 AM

I read an article about this a few months ago. They were saying that Hollywood's idea of beauty had to evolve from the black and white movie era to television because people who were beautiful on one medium weren't always good looking on the other. In black and white movies people with very angular faces whose cheekbones could cast shadows were considered to be the best looking. On tv they could come across as looking creepy. This is the same thing, some people will look good, others will be phased out, or only do certain kinds of work.

zoton

Kuwait

November 2005

DEC 06, 2005 08:01 AM

StackedUpXXII said:

For some reason, I want to say that six times the definition will come out to 36 times the ugly.

would probably be a range between 36-72 times because you would have to multiply it by a variable factor of a viewers perception of ugly .....

[Edited on Dec 06, 2005 by zoton]

NickFaust

USA

April 2004

DEC 06, 2005 08:13 AM

I say that anything that brings these people out of the narcissitic haze of their "celebrity" is a good thing.

Actors are supposed to be people, playing roles, not perfect gods establishing archetypes. I much prefer that people look like people and find it sad that they feel (that we support them feeling) as if they have to be unaging and unlined.

It's a fucking job. Lots of people are employed. You ain't nothing special. Get the fuck over yourselves.

Akrasia

Ireland

August 2004

DEC 06, 2005 08:23 AM

why would anyone want to buy a tv that makes women look less beautiful?

I assume if it makes Celebrities look bad with all their make up on it must make other people look awful

skuzzlebuddy

I'm lost

October 2002

DEC 06, 2005 08:23 AM

s5 said:
And then there's HDTV porn.

I made the horrible mistake of purchasing an HD pay per view porno via Directv
(strictly for research purposes). Forget longing for my $12.00 back... I want my
innocence back!
Without doubt, I'm damaged for life.

rane

United Kingdom

October 2005

DEC 06, 2005 08:27 AM

NickFaust said:
I say that anything that brings these people out of the narcissitic haze of their "celebrity" is a good thing.

Actors are supposed to be people, playing roles, not perfect gods establishing archetypes. I much prefer that people look like people and find it sad that they feel (that we support them feeling) as if they have to be unaging and unlined.

It's a fucking job. Lots of people are employed. You ain't nothing special. Get the fuck over yourselves.

word

Slide

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

DEC 06, 2005 09:52 AM

Celebrities are upset that HDTV reveals the shocking truth: they look just like the rest of us, but with better make-up

It still amazes me that people don't realise this

MasterNSlave

USA

September 2005

DEC 06, 2005 04:51 PM

thefreak said:

-TM

LMAO.

pmonkeyEsquire

Detroit, MI

May 2004

DEC 06, 2005 04:58 PM

Slide said:
Celebrities are upset that HDTV reveals the shocking truth: they look just like the rest of us, but with better make-up

It still amazes me that people don't realise this

exactly. well played!