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Celebs Whining About HDTV

MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2005 6:00 PM

Submitted by WilWheaton. Edited By WilWheaton.

Celebrities are upset that HDTV reveals the shocking truth: they look just like the rest of us, but with better make-up. Everyone get out your personal copy of the world's smallest violin.

Phillip Swann writes,

For decades, the Hollywood glamour machine has been able to dictate who is considered beautiful and who is not. Using soft lighting in TV and movie appearances, and magazine photo shoots, Hollywood has been able to create the impression that some people are better looking than they really are.

[. . .]

HDTV, which provides a picture up to six times clearer than normal television, viewers for the first time can see celebrities as they look in real life. Make-up can only do so much in high-def.

Consequently, as more people get HDTVs, the Hollywood glamour machine might have to go into the shop for a few repairs. Rather than trying to make stars out of ordinary looking people, the studios and networks might have to place their bets on individuals who are naturally beautiful, those who will look great in any setting, including high-def.

Swann links to an interview he gave London's Daily Telegraph, which goes even further:

"With high-definition television facial imperfections and ageing signs are dramatically visible." He said many celebrities were "scared to death" by the technology.

"New make-up techniques are being worked on and I get e-mails from actors expressing concern because they are going on shows in high definition and it's not like going on regular TV - it's like being naked. You think Cameron Diaz is flawless until you see her in high definition. She looks like a different person."

Swann recently produced a scathing analysis of stars' high-definition looks. They included Demi Moore, whose complexion was described as "coarse and leathery", and Donald Trump, who appeared "puffed up � and covered with an odd mixture of orange and white".

Heather Locklear was cited as "a classic case of the HDTV effect. In regular TV, she still looks great, sexy as ever. But in high-def, the ageing lines and wrinkles are everywhere." Top of his list was Teri Hatcher, the Desperate Housewives actress, who is described as looking "really desperate". Hatcher's forehead is said to have "bulging veins, making it look like a page from a road map".

Swann says Mischa Barton, Anna Kournikova, Eva Longoria, Catherine Zeta Jones and Jessica Alba all hold up in HDTV.

When I was heavily involved in promotional appearances for things like Star Trek, I was constantly amazed by the celebrities I'd meet in green rooms. Some of the most beautiful women on television were absolute gargoyles without the right lighting and make-up, and just about every leading man in the industry was much shorter, more balding, and closer to average than anyone would ever expect.

63 Comments

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498111023955391_

Tampa, FL

May 2003

DEC 05, 2005 10:06 PM

ah everyone gets old and then some, we shouldn't be surprised

DireChocobo

Fairburn, GA

July 2004

DEC 05, 2005 10:09 PM

When I read the first few sentences, I thought to my self, "Good, now maybe people will realize Cameron Diaz is hideous finally." Then she gets mentioned in particular. Lovely. I think I'll sleep well tonight.

BurningKrome

San Jose, CA

April 2005

DEC 05, 2005 10:11 PM

Subrosa said:

s5 said:
And then there's HDTV porn.

I am simultaneously intrigued and mortified.

HDTV porn. I have an image forming in my minds eye. A group frat boys - all a flutter - sitting on the couch with brewskis in hand. Play is punched on the remote as they lean forward eagerly. Suddenly, as a single unit, they lurch back as a communal "ewwww" slips from their lips.

Afterwards they all quit school and become monks.

Flux said:
Dude, don't diss on the Crusher.

Suckup...

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA

October 2005

DEC 05, 2005 10:28 PM

If anything, this is just going to make acting ability even less of a factor.

Walker

Sacramento, CA

March 2005

DEC 05, 2005 10:29 PM

So I would be what twice the ugly or three times the ugly?

yetti

Elmira, NY

March 2005

DEC 05, 2005 10:42 PM

i am currently enroled in the tom savini makeup and special effects program.. being a filmer and editor already for small stuff. i know all the lighting and style shit. its that most of the people in hollywood are lazy fucks. thier over paid and think thier the shit that came out the goose that lays golden eggs. youve all herd that before. but hdtv isn't all that of a challenge for makeup artists if they realize they suck and quit.. or take a little more time in their craft to make the actress/actor look good. but i totally agree with all you that people need to learn that personality makes you. not how attractive you are.

but i think null midnight8x posted it best.

KorbenDallas

Brownsville, TX

January 2005

DEC 05, 2005 10:59 PM

The world is my HDTV!
Remember don't feed the Korby!

aktrekker

Spokane, WA

December 2004

DEC 05, 2005 11:51 PM

He said Jessica Alba still looks good.
I agree

abracadabra

Seattle, WA

April 2004

DEC 06, 2005 12:35 AM

alba..drool..who cares..i would like to see everyones imperfections to bust open the notion that we look fake ..fuck it..i wouldn't care if Teri Hatcher had a big zit on her nose..she's teh sexbomb

Someguysteve

USA

September 2005

DEC 06, 2005 01:26 AM

It'll probably mean they'll stop using 30 year olds to play highschool students

stainedecho

Bloomington, IN

September 2005

DEC 06, 2005 01:40 AM

If you're a celeb who's worth anything and not just a pretty face, you've probably copped to the fact that you age just like the rest of us.

Get over yourself and how you look. Outer looks aren't the only form of beauty, and most fans realize that. Those that don't aren't worth your time.

PS: This doesn't go just for celebs, this goes for everyone in general.

[Edited on Dec 06, 2005 4:41AM]

The_Squishy

Ewa Beach, HI

September 2004

DEC 06, 2005 01:45 AM

All I know is, Cameron Diaz was hot in the Mask

TedKoppel

Glendale, AZ

March 2004

DEC 06, 2005 02:45 AM

This was one of the first things I thought of when I realized I could see people's pores so clearly in HDTV. You can't very well hide a zit if that's the case.