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  • WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 5 2005 9:48 PM

Science Offers Biggest Waste of Time and Money... Again

It's time for all of us Americans to be proud of what our native scientists accomplish. For now they have successfuly completed the most amazing feat to date. No, there is not yet a cure for cancer, and there is no cure for world hunger, but they did, however do something much more important: Taught dolphins to sing the "Batman" theme song!

Scientists have taught dolphins to combine both rhythm and vocalisations to produce music, resulting in an extremely high-pitched, short version of the Batman theme song.

The findings, outlined in two studies, are the first time that nonhuman mammals have demonstrated they can recognise rhythms and reproduce them vocally.



Now that we have both dolphins who can bomb subs for us and dolphins who can sing "Batman," maybe we can get them to do them both simultaneously.

 

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Comments
boundcreature

boundcreature

Boston, MA
April 2004

OCT 05, 2005 09:51 PM

god save us all.

HotVelvet

HotVelvet

Sherman, TX
March 2004

OCT 05, 2005 09:54 PM

I can die a happy man now.

robosagogo

robosagogo

State College, PA
September 2004

OCT 05, 2005 09:56 PM

HotVelvet said:
I can die a happy man now.



And just in the nick of time!

nghtdvl

nghtdvl

Montreal, QC
November 2003

OCT 05, 2005 09:57 PM

They should have chosen a different song (although that was a good choice to make me chuckle eh), but still I wouldn't say it's a waste of time.

Al

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

OCT 05, 2005 10:02 PM

Oh my god, that's so fucking cool. I don't think it's a waste. I'd rather my money go towards that than... well... I don't think I should talk about it.

Hey, at least it's a learning experience.

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

OCT 05, 2005 10:04 PM

So long and thanks for all the singing lessons!

cipher

cipher

Saint Paul, MN
July 2004

OCT 05, 2005 10:07 PM

This is how it starts. Next thing you know, those damned fish are going to be asking for "rights" and the vote.

troglodyte

troglodyte

Victoria, BC
May 2003

OCT 05, 2005 10:08 PM

Sid said:
Now that we have both dolphins who can bomb subs for us and dolphins who can sing "Batman," maybe we can get them to do them both simultaneously.


It'd be better if they sang the Mission: Impossible song while doing that.

alpha_hazard

alpha_hazard

Fort Collins, CO
April 2004

OCT 05, 2005 10:13 PM

wait...I thought birds were mimicing ring tones and songs a long time ago...

oh, Mammals...I see...

I think there is a simple reason there is no cure for world hunger though...hunger isn't a disease.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

OCT 05, 2005 10:15 PM

They probably picked it because it's, what, six notes?

seanvegas

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE
December 2004

OCT 05, 2005 10:21 PM

My world will be a better place now!

catdad

catdad

Portland, OR
August 2002

OCT 05, 2005 10:23 PM

Maybe the scientists can teach the dolphins to come up with that cure for cancer for us.

LordAuch

LordAuch

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

OCT 05, 2005 10:23 PM

That's better than, "a shark with a frickin laser beam on its head."

Callahan

Callahan

Seattle, WA
February 2005

OCT 05, 2005 10:28 PM

Its all about ongoing cognitive studies. How we think, why we think, whats makes our thinking human, how it got to be that way. You may think it cool to mock people who uncovered the pieces but when the puzzle is put together it'll be quiet something.

Also, the people who research cancer have different fields of study then these scientist. You dont go out and get a masters degree in scientistology and then research whatever the hell you feel like.

I read study showing that it would take a mere 15 billion dollars a year for 20 years to eradicate world hunger forever. We know how to do it, just no ones willing to front the money.

Robotsatemyhair

Robotsatemyhair

Richmond, VA
March 2004

OCT 05, 2005 11:10 PM

I have to hear a recording. NOW!

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