by Laurelin



People always think that as a bartender I must be always surrounded by men. Flirting with the bartender is just what people do, it’s true. I’m going to be honest though -- besides the occasional coworker, in my years behind the bar I have never once met and wound up hooking up with or dating a guy I’ve met while working. I am friendly, but I am not one of those girls who bats her eyelashes for tips. I would rather impress you with my knowledge of beer selection than with my boobs (although I do have a pretty perky rack).

That being said, let’s move on to something a little on the girly side: hair. I have spent the majority of my life as a faux ginger. My hair is naturally mousy brown, and in high school (without my parents permission of course) I started dying it auburn. With the exception of a few years of rebellion with crazy haircuts and experimenting with pinks, blues, and purples, I have always had long, red hair. I woke up one morning about a month ago with a new idea in my head. Blonde. I wonder…Not an hour later I found myself in a salon chair covered in foils, and an hour after that, I was a different person. I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe it. Could I touch it? Is this me?

I didn’t think anyone would care, but as the days went by I started to notice a serious difference in the way men talked to me. People held doors, bought me drinks, smiled more. Is this for real? Maybe it was in the way I held myself; I had just received two promotions at both my jobs and I admit to having a bit more pep in my step as of late. Either way, people always say blondes have more fun, and I’m starting to think they weren’t kidding. My bar shifts end in multiple phone numbers written on napkins and bar receipts. Guys hang around a little past closing and ask what I’m doing after work, I need to shove them out the door and try not to laugh. People whistle in the streets and I’m wondering, was I invisible as a red head? Seriously?

The other night at a charity event I met this guy who on paper, seemed perfect. We chatted, I wasn’t exactly interested but I wasn’t not interested. He wound up having too much to drink and in ordering us a round of beers he made a snide comment, purposely insulting the bartender. I was horrified, but I thanked him for the chat and went to find my friends. I could feel his eyes on me for the rest of the night, and I wished I had anywhere else to be.

One week later, I’d just started a shift at work. Before I can even take off my coat, I look up and there he is, the guy from the charity event. My cheeks burn and I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

“Do you remember me?” he asks.

“Yes…” I say.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he says. “I can’t believe I didn’t get your number. Please, go out with me.” I look around, wondering if anyone else is hearing this. The coat I have taken only halfway off suddenly feels like a million pounds of wool, and I start sweating.

“Um, I’m flattered, but I’m kind of seeing someone…” I manage to stammer.

“I don’t care,” he says. “One coffee date.” Whelp, that’s it for me. The scent of desperation on anyone makes bile rise in my throat but at the same time I feel so bad for this guy that I can barely stand it.

“You should go,” I say. He doesn’t go, he stares at me, and as the other bartender walks up I hold my hand up in a half wave, and he finally gets it. He leaves, and I start my shift shaking.

Fucking blonde hair, seriously. I’m in trouble.



***

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by A.J. Focht



A new trailer for The Avengers came out today, and a new official movie poster has been released. The movie hits theatres on May 4, and will launch the summer superhero season.

There has been a lot of talk about Ryan Reynolds reprising either of his super powered rolls as the Green Lantern or Deadpool. While promoting his upcoming movie Safe House, Reynolds gave us some more insight on both projects. Deadpool is a work in progress, and Reynolds thinks the script is fantastic. Thankfully, he mentioned the new script has nothing to do with the Wolverine movie. The main concern is getting the producers to cut a check for a rated R superhero movie. As far as Green Lantern, Reynolds knows nothing of plans to do a sequel after the horribly received first film, but he did immediately turn the conversation back to how awesome a rated R Deadpool movie would be.

A new member has been added to the cast of http://nerdbastards.com/2012/02/24/the-walking-dead-has-found-its-governor-david-morrissey-cast/ " target="_blank">The Walking Dead. David Morrissey has been cast as the Governor on the show. The Governor is the dreadful leader of another group of survivors and will be a regular next season. The third season has also been expanded to sixteen episodes.

To go along with the first photos from the set of Star Trek 2, a behind the scenes video has hit the web showing Spock getting the shit beaten out of him by Benedict Cumberbatch’s character over and over again. While we still don’t know who Cumberbatch is, it’s clear he is a villain able to overpower Spock – which is no easy feat.

Despite the years of backlash and ridicule Star Wars: The Phantom Menace has received since its release in 1999, it is now on its way to being the 10th highest grossing film ever worldwide. Due to the fact the 3D version sales are being added directly onto the original movies sales (a cheap move if you ask me), The Phantom Menace has been gradually climbing the charts since its extra dimensional release. If it makes just $1.5 million more it will overtake The Dark Knight, which currently hold the #10 spot.

While Star Wars is cheating its way into the record book, The Hunger Games has legitimately broken the record for most advance tickets sold a full month before its release. With a major following growing to match that of Harry Potter or other such fan backed literature, we can only hope The Hunger Games will take the spotlight away from the Twilight series.

The first official trailer for The Last Airbender: Legend of Korra animated series has been released. It takes place seventy years after the events of Avatar: The Last Airbender and follows the adventures of the new Avatar, Korra. The trailer still doesn’t give a firm release date, but it does say coming soon.

After the incredibly successful Black & White sequels to the Pokémon game series, Nintendo has now announced two more sequels currently titled, Black & White 2. This is an odd move for the Pokémon games as their past sequels have always been titled after different colors on different islands. This may mean these are the first Pokémon games to directly sequel previous games (if we don’t count offshoots like Yellow, Crystal, etc.) and if they keep the title, it will be the first to have a number moniker in the title. The game is scheduled to release in Japan in June 2012 and here in August 2012.

by David Seaman



I go into further detail in my latest videocast, but here's what you need to know about H.R. 347 at a glance: It's outrageous, it’s atrocious, and it’s ludicrously un-American.

Oh, and it passed the House yesterday 388 to 3.

Here's what foreign media is saying about the bill -- in this case,
Russian state-owned news network RT:

And here's what our media is saying -- in this case, Congressional news site The Hill:

Oh, non-controversial. OK. Nothing to see here, citizen. Move along.

(Hat tip to the Reddit hivemind for The Hill and RT links.)

***

About David Seaman:
David Seaman is an independent journalist. He has been a lively guest on CNN Headline News, FOX News, ABC News Digital, among others, and is the host of The DL Show. Some say he was recently censored by a certain large media corporation for posting a little too much truth... For more, find him on G+ and Twitter.

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by Nahp Suicide


[The Face of SG's Twitter, Glitch, as shot by Lavonne in Fixation]

Lavonne is from Alberta, Canada. She is a Suicide Girl, a Staff Photographer and a really good artist, and has been modeling and shooting sets since 2005.

How did you first get involved with SuicideGirls?

I applied and sent in my first self-shot sets in 2004. I hadn't done anything like it before and thought it would be fun. Then other girls started asking me to photograph them too.

What's your background photography-wise?

I've been shooting for fun since high school and have taken a few courses for darkroom developing, but am mostly self taught.




[Lavonne in Tropical]

What was the first photo you had published?

My Tropical set, which I shot with a crappy point and shoot camera and lit with a reading lamp. I think my work has come a long way.



How would you describe your style?

Emotional and real (ideally).



What gear do you use?

For the last 4-5 years, a Canon 5D, mostly with a 50mm f1.4 lens. Rin's Voyeur set was my only set with a different lens: a 100mm for a more distant feel.





[Rin in Voyeur]

How important is Photoshop in your final images?

I like to use it to remove major distractions and to create dream-like coloring, but I try to keep images natural looking.



What gives you ideas and inspires you to create such amazing sets?

I get most of my inspiration from the model and location I'm working with. I prefer shoots to be organic, and keep my own ego out of the way. Photography can often overtake a subject's true beauty.




[Rin and Malloreigh in Bubble Kiss]

What is your favorite image?

There are many that come to mind, but this photo of Rin and Malloreigh [NSFW] is high on the list.

Tell us why it's your fave and how you achieved it?

I love it mostly because of the good memories of that day. We created a super pink and girly scene, put on a bubble machine, then jumped around and had pillow fights! It wasn't really about techniques or skill, I just captured a really lovely afternoon as best as I could. It was magical and real, and for me that is what life is about.



Is there anybody or anything you would love to photograph that you haven't? (And tell us why)

There are lots of people and places I'd like to photograph! Models that are passionate and genuine. Places that are inspiring and remote. I want to experience as much of this world as I can.




[Starla in Sparkling Clean]

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by Ryker Suicide



Ryker: Taqueria Style Chicken Tacos with Fire Roasted Salsa

Ingredients: For The Tacos

• 1-1.5 lbs chicken breast


• 1 can of diced tomatoes/peppers


• 2 packages of taco seasoning


• 1-2 cups of flour (for dredging)


• Ground cumin


• 1 can of diced green chili peppers


• 1 can of chicken broth


• 1 package of corn tortillas


• Fresh cilantro


• Cheese (such as queso fresco or 4 blend Mexican cheese)


• Shredded cabbage slaw


• 1 can of pinto beans


• olive oil

Directions:

1. Coat pan in olive oil and heat to medium high. Pat chicken dry, and cut each breast into two pieces (smaller pieces cook faster). Mix flour and one packet of taco seasoning. Dredge chicken in flour mixture and brown on both sides. While browning, sprinkle chicken with a bit of ground cumin. After chicken is browned, remove from pan and set aside.

2. In same pan, add 1 can of chicken broth and taco seasoning. Also add chili peppers and tomatoes. Mix together well, scraping up any little brown bits at the bottom of the pan. Return chicken to pan and allow to simmer for 45 minutes covered. (Now is a good time to start on the salsa, recipe follows below). Turn chicken after 45 minutes and allow to simmer for another 20-30 minutes until chicken is fork tender.

3. Once chicken is cooked, remove from pan and turn off heat. Allow chicken to cool a bit and then pull apart. Return pulled chicken to pan and allow to simmer on low for another 30-60 minutes uncovered, letting the liquid reduce a bit.

4. Once chicken is super juicy and tender, you are ready to assemble. Take two corn tortillas (feel free to heat in microwave ahead of time, it makes them more pliable) and add layers of cheese, cabbage, beans, chicken, salsa, and cilantro.

Eat and enjoy!!



Ingredients: For The Salsa

• 2 large tomatoes


• 1 poblano pepper


• 1 large jalapeño or two small ones


• 1-3 habanero (depending on your level of heat. 1 being mild, 3 being hot)


• 1 head of garlic


• 1 onion


• Olive oil


• Sea Salt


• 1 small can of jalapeño verde sauce

Directions: Fire Roasted Salsa:

1. Preheat oven to 375. Quarter tomatoes, seed and cores in tact. Slice peppers by the halves. Quarter onions. Coat everything heavily in olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper. Put in roasting pan, skin sides up.

2. For the garlic, slice top end off so the cloves are exposed. Pour with olive oil and wrap garlic in tin foil. Also insert in roasting pan. Roast veggies for 1-2 hours until charred and super soft.

3. In a food processor, blend roasted veggies, a handful of fresh cilantro, verde sauce, and salt (as needed).

Viola! You have fire-roasted salsa

Mmmmm....soo good!

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by Damon Martin



The decision Hollywood made a few months ago to remake Buffy the Vampire Slayer without series creator Joss Whedon was met with more than just a little venom from the fans that followed and supported the series for seven seasons and a continuing run into the comic book world.

It appears that some of those voices were heard after first time writer Whit Anderson was hired to write a script, and upon further review, the producers behind the project were thoroughly unimpressed with what he came up with; The Los Angeles Times reports the script was “was rejected completely.”

The project is now on hold awaiting a new writer, but it may end up getting shelved all together after the fans of the Buffy-verse revolted against the idea of a movie remake without its creator's involvement.

Some of the actors who made up a big part of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series for seven years were also soundly against the idea of a movie remake sans Whedon. Especially considering most of them are still young enough to reprise roles in some kind of movie, if Whedon ever decided to make a go of it.

"Without Joss's participation it is likely to be almost as good as the original film," said James Marsters, who portrayed Spike during the hit series' run when speaking to SuicideGirls. "Cause at least Joss wrote that one."

The original Buffy the Vampire Slayer film –– which starred Kristy Swanson, Luke Perry, Rutger Hauer, and Paul 'Pee-Wee Herman' Reubens –– was released in 1992 and was a critical disaster. However, it became a bit of a cult hit among science fiction fans.

Whedon wrote the original film and created all the characters, but the Hollywood machine twisted, turned, and trounced on his ideas throughout the making of it, and the result is what ended up being released.

The film's ultimate failure is what put Whedon back into creative mode to bring Buffy and her cohorts back, this time to the small screen. The show ran for seven years and has continued to be one of the most popular and talked about shows in the science fiction fan realm, and even hit syndication.

"I don't think it's Buffy without Joss Whedon," said Mark Metcalf, who portrayed 'The Master' throughout the first season and several other appearances during the show's seven season run. "He was the source of it, originally, even before the movie. It was his idea and the series came about because he wasn't happy with what they did with the movie."

Marsters and Metcalf are just two of the players from the Buffy TV universe that didn't seem to be on board for a remade movie, and despite their best efforts Hollywood seems to have come to that realization as well.

Metcalf may have summed it up best when speaking about the potential project, if it ever does get completed.

"I won't go see it," Metcalf stated.

Buffy or no Buffy, Whedon has obviously kept busy. He wrote and directed the big budget superhero film The Avengers which hits theaters this summer and is expected to be one of the year's biggest films.

by SG's Team Agony feat. Dalila

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Dalila in Psycho Holidays]

Q. I am in a relationship with a woman whom I love dearly and generally we are very happy. My only complaint is that she has a secret social life. For instance, she doesn't work on Tuesday, but she will be gone all day and come home after I get home. If I ask what she’s doing, she says I am out of line, even if I am just trying to make conversation. She has a group of friends that she does happy hour with and I am not allowed to meet them and I know nothing about them – not even their names. Asking about them has caused a couple of fights so I have let it go. I am also not allowed to know where they meet for happy hour.

Normally I just get a text after work that says, "Going out be home late." She has other friends that I am allowed to join for happy hour. I know these friends well and get invited, or rather told I am going to those happy hours. In contrast, when I go out I always invite her and she almost always comes with me. If she doesn't, I am okay with that, and she always asks me about who I was with, if we had a good time, what we talked about, and so on.

These are the same questions that make her very upset when I have asked them. I am not concerned that she might be cheating on me. I trust her. What really bothers me is that she feels like she needs to keep secrets from me. I really do not have any secrets and, except when she asks about my time in Iraq, I will tell her anything. I think people that keep secrets have something to hide. What do you think?

A: I don’t think that a person who keeps secrets necessarily has something to hide. People can decide to tell or not to tell, and sometimes they choose not to because they simply prefer to keep stuff to themselves. And there’s no clear evidence of seediness here.

Just think: what happened last time you had a relationship and you and your significant other had common friends? Usually, when couples split, friends are split too. There are the ones who stay with the girl, others who stick with the boy: but the original gang is often, sadly, no more. Your girlfriend might have experienced this kind of thing before, and, as a result, prefers to keep her closest slice of friends strictly to herself. Then again, she lets you join her and other mates, so perhaps she just wants to be herself with one particular set of friends. Maybe she wants to vent a bit in a safe space, with friends she really trusts. I’m sure there are things you’d prefer not to tell your parents, or you workmates, or your mates, even your girlfriend. Think about those. You wouldn’t go for sex advice to your grandma, would you?

It’s also true that sharing every single moment of the day brings most relationships to an end, so you should cherish the fact that your girlfriend is not the super sticky type. It’s actually a healthy sign that she has her own friends and interests; you’ve gotten yourself a woman, congrats! And a little mystery can be a good thing. Not sharing every little, tiny, weenie thingy is the best way to keep your companion awake and interested. Don’t sweat, it’s a good sign!

Cheers,

Dalila

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by David Seaman



SG Political Contributor David Seaman sits down with investigative journalist and author Greg Palast to find out what's not so super about the unprecedented amount of funding being poured into politics by corporations and private individuals via the new breed of political action committees (PACs) created following the Supreme Court's Citizens United ruling. Palast has made it his raison d'être to expose the vultures who prey on our political system for their own gain at the expense of the masses it's supposed to serve. Here he explains why talk of corporate personhood is taking the focus off an aspect of campaign finance that could potentially be even more troubling. - Nicole Powers, SG Ed.

Check back here for Parts 2 and 3 of David's interview with Greg tomorrow and Monday.

Producer: Lindsey Miller


***

About Greg Palast
Greg Palast’s reports can be seen on BBC Television’s Newsnight. He is a Puffin Foundation Writing Fellow for investigative reporting, and is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Best Democracy Money Can Buy and Armed Madhouse.

His latest book, Vultures' Picnic: In Pursuit of Petroleum Pigs, Power Pirates and High-Finance Predators, which he describes as “a tale of oil, sex, shoes, radiation and investigative reporting,” is available now. Visit GregPalast.com and VulturesPicnic.com for more info.

Greg Palast and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. are the co-authors of a comic-style voter guide called Steal Back Your Vote. You can download a free copy of it here.

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***

About David Seaman:
David Seaman is an independent journalist. He has been a lively guest on CNN Headline News, FOX News, ABC News Digital, among others, and is the host of The DL Show. Some say he was recently censored by a certain large media corporation for posting a little too much truth... For more, find him on G+ and Twitter.

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by Brad Warner



A guy called Mister C asked the following question via Twitter: “Doesn’t Buddhism count homosexuals as sexual deviants?” I’ve already addressed this issue at length in my most recent book Sex, Sin, and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between and even right here on SuicideGirls. But I’ll address it again, because clearly there is a need to since the idea persists that Buddhism believes gays are deviants.

There is no Buddhist Bible somewhere out there in which it is written that a man shall not lie with another man as with a woman or anything like that. That’s the short answer. And now the long one.

The main reason so many people believe that Buddhists consider homosexuality to be deviant is because of statements made by the 14th Dalai Lama. In 1997 in an interview with Dennis Conkin of the Bay Area Reporter, the Dalai Lama is reported to have said, “Buddhist sexual proscriptions ban homosexual activity and heterosexual sex through orifices other than the vagina, including masturbation or other sexual activity with the hand. From a Buddhist point of view, lesbian and gay sex is generally considered sexual misconduct."

One thing that needs to be clarified right from the outset is that the Dalai Lama is not the Pope of Buddhism whose decries form the official position that Buddhists everywhere must follow. He is, in fact, merely the head of one particular sect of Tibetan Buddhism, the Gelungpa lineage. So he’s not even the Pope of Tibetan Buddhism, let alone all of Buddhism. Other Buddhist lineages like Zen, Theravada, Pure Land, Nichiren and so on don’t recognize him as their spokesman or leader. I, personally, rarely pay him much attention.

I’m guessing that the “Buddhist sexual proscriptions” he refers to are the ancient rules for monks (both male and female). The first Buddhist monastic order was expected to practice celibacy. Apparently some of Buddha’s monks thought this meant only that men were forbidden to have sex with women. They figured it was permissible for men to have sex with each other and that hot girl-on-girl action was also fine and dandy. So Buddha had to educate them by specifying that “no sex” meant no sex at all by clearly stipulating homosexual acts as also being no-no’s for monks.

But that was meant only for monks. As far as laypeople were concerned there were only four types of sexual acts that were specified as wrong. In an ancient sutra about Right Action the Buddha is quoted as saying that a Buddhist, “avoids unlawful sexual intercourse, abstains from it. He has no intercourse with girls who are still under the protection of father or mother, brother, sister, or relative; nor with married women, nor female convicts; nor lastly with betrothed girls.” Although this statement is made from the male perspective, it is understood the same applies to Buddhist laywomen.

As for lesbian and gay sex being “generally considered sexual misconduct” by Buddhists, that really depends on who you ask. For example, the San Francisco Zen Center, one of America’s largest contemporary Buddhist organizations, is extremely gay friendly. They run a lot of workshops and retreats specifically geared toward the LGBT community. Many other Buddhist communities both in the West and in Asia are similarly open-minded.

There are ancient scriptures that do specify certain acts we consider to be homosexual as being misconduct for monks. And I think this is what the Dalai Lama was referring to.

But when looking back at ancient scriptures, one has to be careful not to read contemporary definitions into them. The word “homosexual” is of very recent origin. Its first known appearance in print occurred in 1869. It wasn’t clearly defined until about a decade later. See here for further details. The Indian, Chinese, Japanese and even Tibetan Buddhists of pre-modern times had no concept of homosexuals or homosexuality as we understand those terms today. Neither did Biblical era Jews or Christians for that matter. But we’ll leave that aside.

For Buddhists, sexual behavior was not really an issue in and of itself. It only became an issue when it interfered with Buddhist practice. Thus, monks both male and female were forbidden to have sex not because sex was considered evil or wrong, but because it interfered with the single-minded pursuit of Buddhist meditation to which they had committed their lives. They were also forbidden to eat after noon, to sleep in luxurious beds, to listen to music, to go dancing and so on for the same reason.

These days the rules are usually far less strict. In Japan, monks are even allowed to get married. The more severe rules are observed during training periods and then dropped when monks leave to go to their own temples. When it comes to lay people there really are no rules at all.

However, there is a set of precepts that all Buddhists adhere to across the board. And the third of these is generally given as, “Do not misuse sexuality.” But there are many interpretations as to what constitutes misuse of sexuality. It is generally left up to the individual to determine for himself or herself what is and what is not a misuse of sexuality. Even the Dalai Lama seems to agree with this. In a 1994 interview with OUT magazine he is quoted as saying, “If someone comes to me and asks whether homosexuality is okay or not, I will ask 'What is your companion's opinion?'. If you both agree, then I think I would say 'if two males or two females voluntarily agree to have mutual satisfaction without further implication of harming others, then it is okay.'"

When Buddhists live communally it is sometimes necessary to agree on a specific definition of sexual misconduct. Some Buddhist communities opt for strict celibacy. Others do not. The San Francisco Zen Center, for example, encourages its residents to engage only in committed monogamous sexual relationships. You can get kicked out of their residential communities for violating this rule. But you won’t get kicked out for being gay. That’s for certain. Though you might get the boot for being too slutty in your gay-ness.

So, no, Mister C, Buddhism does not count homosexuals as sexual deviants. Though certain prominent Buddhists, like the 14th Dalai Lama, do.

***

Brad Warner is the author of Sex, Sin and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between as well as Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up! and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff that you can click here to see.

Brad Warner will be speaking in Los Angeles soon.

March 10, 2012
10 AM - 3:30 PM
Hill Street Center
237 Hill St.
Santa Monica, CA 90405

March 15, 2012
7:30 PM - 9:00 PM
Against the Stream
4300 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90029

You can also buy T-shirts and hoodies based on his books, and the new CD by his band Zero Defex now!



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This Sunday (Feb 26) on SuicideGirls Radio we have an outrageously awesome and bodaciously badass music lineup. SG Radio hosts Nicole Powers (SG’s Managing Editor) and Lacey Conner (our resident recovering reality TV star from VH1′s Rock of Love and Charm School) will be joined in-studio by industrial-pop princess Porcelain Black, wax ‘n’ Webslinger 4th Pyramid, and raucous hip-hop reprobate Mickey Avalon.

Tune in to the world’s leading naked radio show for two hours of totally awesome tunes and extreme conversation – and don’t let yo momma listen in!

Listen to SG Radio live Sunday night from 10 PM til Midnight on suicidegirlsradio.indie1031.com/

Got questions? Then dial our studio hotline digits this Sunday between 10 PM and midnight PST: 323-900-6012

And follow us on Twitter because we like cyberstalkers.




_About Porcelain Black

"Everything that I do is a mix of light and dark," says Porcelain Black. "The contrast represents my music, my hair, my personality." Fusing hard-hitting rock roots with the sticky, pulsating beats of 2101 label head and producer RedOne (Usher, U2, Jennifer Lopez, Enrique Iglesias, Pitbull, Lady Gaga), Black has created a sound she likens to the would-be offspring of Marilyn Manson and Britney Spears. "It's industrial, dark, danceable pop," she says. "Bad ass and positive."

While visiting RedOne's studio in November 2009 Black's vibe and epic vocals made an instant impact. "I wanted to sign her on the spot," RedOne recalls. "She reminded me of Joan Jett. She's got it all: the attitude, the talent, the look. She can scream and do things with her voice that nobody can do. She is uncompromising in pursuing her own creative vision. She's taking everything that's old and making it futuristic and bringing rock and roll back in her own way."

Now, signed to 2101 Records via a joint venture with Universal Republic Records, Black has just released her second single, “Naughty Naughty.” The song follows her successful first single "This Is What Rock N Roll Looks Like" Feat. Lil Wayne. Both tracks fuse roaring guitars with thunderous dance-pop, a vibe maintained throughout most of her daring, not-yet-titled debut. "Rock & roll is about attitude," says the heavily tattooed singer, who was once asked by Courtney Love to sing backup when the alt rocker found her on MySpace under Porcelain and the Tramps. "We're the kids that belong to the night, but just because you're a badass doesn't mean you're a bad person. Rock & roll is about embracing people."

porcelainblack.net
facebook.com/porcelainblackmusic
twitter.com/porcelainblack
youtube.com/porcelainblackmusic




_About 4th Pyramid

4th Pyramid is a MC/Producer/Songwriter from Toronto, Canada. Coming up the ranks as a producer and engineer, 4th Pyramid has quietly stacked credits for the Black Eyed Peas, members of Wu-Tang Clan, MF Doom, and Pete Rock, while licensing his own tunes with Sprite, Scion, and various feature films. Pyramid is also one-half of the DJ/production team The Sheen Bros, along with Cosmo Baker, and together the duo released their 2011 EP through Scion's A/V label. In December 2011, Pyramid launched his own imprint, Silk Ivory, a boutique label that was quickly signed to Universal Music. 4th Pyramid will release his debut solo album, The Pyramid Scheme, on March 6, 2012.

4thpyramid.com/
facebook.com/4thPyramid
twitter.com/4thpyramid
youtube.com/4thpyramid




_About Mickey Avalon

Mickey Avalon’s back-story begins on the streets of Hollywood, California. Raised by his heroin-addicted father, he began selling pot at a young age, a trade he acquired from his mother. In an attempt to clean up his act, Mickey converted to Orthodox Judaism in his late teens, an effort that didn’t last due to constant family tragedy.

After the deaths of both his father and sister, Mickey decided that he wanted more out of life. Having hit rock bottom after the breakup of his marriage, Avalon moved from Portland back to Los Angeles, and chose to make one final attempt to clean up his act. Shortly after his return, Mickey was befriended by ex-MTV VJ Simon Rex (aka Dirt Nasty), who encouraged Avalon to pursue his passion of hip-hop and even collaborated with him on some tracks. At the time, Avalon was staying in a sober living facility and had a strict curfew, so Dirt Nasty began passing out Mickey’s demo at Hollywood clubs, which helped Mickey develop a following among fans of the Los Angeles nightclub scene.

As Mickey’s popularity grew, he began to sell out clubs throughout California with his legendary live show. Soon after Interscope Records took notice of the guerilla promotions tactics and signed Avalon to the label. Through Interscope, Avalon released his now classic self-titled debut album, which showcased his unique rhyming style and indulgent lyrics. Inspired by his experiences on the streets with drugs and prostitution, the raw honesty of his songs immediately resonated with audiences. Fan favorites "Jane Fonda," "Mr. Right" and "My Dick" quickly spread across the internet and mainstream radio, turning Mickey Avalon into a household name.

After years spent confined by industry red tape, Mickey Avalon has returned with a brand new album Loaded, which takes fans on a journey through the seedy streets of Hollywood. It is the soundtrack to one the most debauched tales of rock & roll. Filled with excess and exploding with sexual energy, Avalon’s music embraces decadence and celebrates its hedonistic glory. Mickey Avalon simply appeals to voyeuristic side of all of us that want to indulge, let loose and get Loaded.

mickeyavalon.com/
facebook.com/MickeyAvalon
twitter.com/mickeyave
mickeyavalon.com/#9b4/youtube

The folks from Playboy's Smoking Jacket recently spoke with SG founder Missy Suicide. You can read the full interview, which covers the origins and ethos of our site, here.

by Blogbot



Artist / SG Member Name: Lil Tuffy

Mission Statement: Tuffy doesn't really do the mission statement thing. That's why he left the corporate world. He says his mission is to never work in a cubicle again.

Medium: Screen-print/mixed-media.



Aesthetic: Although his aesthetic changes frequently, there is always a cohesive style that's makes a piece unmistakably his. He's generally known for his use of found imagery, typography, minimal use of colors and negative space.

Notable Achievements: CBGB's 30th Anniversary poster, work included in Rock & Roll Hall of Fame archives. Just released 500th gig poster. About to release limited edition line of messenger bags and T-shirts for Chrome Bags.



Why We Should Care: Tuffy is the perfect example of "do what you love and success will follow." What started as a hobby 10 years ago is now a full-time career designing entire poster series for bands like Pavement and St. Vincent. His artwork and gig posters are exhibited all over the world with shows scheduled in Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, London, Barcelona, Hamburg and more in 2012.

I Want Me Some: Visit: liltuffy.bigcartel.com, society6.com/LilTuffy, and tuffingtonpost.tumblr.com/







***

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by A.J. Focht

Last summer, X-Men: First Class all but made up for the failures of the previous two movies in the franchise. The prequel was shockingly good, and now the sequel to the prequel is in the works. In an interview with Simon Kinberg, screenwriter of both films, it was revealed that this sequel will focus heavily on Magneto’s storyline and Magneto’s growth as a character into a villain.

The pilot for Arrow is coming along, and thanks to Stephen Amell, who was cast as Green Arrow, we have some insight into the process. Amell keeps a video blog on his Facebook where he answers fan questions. In the last video, he revealed several of the changes he has had to make in training for the part. He also said there is one more major character left to be cast that he knows of.



Last week, I reported about a comic documentary focusing on female super heroes that was seeking funding. Now, the first trailer for that film, WONDER WOMEN! The Untold Story of American Superheroines, is available. The film will make its debut at SXSW.

In a recent interview with Kotaku, Geoff Johns announced DC is working on a Suicide Squad video game. Amongst all of DC’s game projects, John’s is particularly excited about this game because it will present a new conundrum where lead characters can be killed off for real, and it’s not a gimmick. For those not familiar with the Suicide Squad comic, it features prominent DC villains working on government espionage missions, and it is common to see main characters die off each issue.



Doctor Who season seven has begun filming. The first stills from the set have hit the internet. Two more actors have also signed on for the run, Mark Williams (Inspector Lestrade in Sherlock) and David Bradley (Argus Filch from Harry Potter).

Fear not Community fans. Show creator, Dan Harmon, tweeted the show will be returning on March 15th. Community will be back on Thursday nights at 8 PM. Let’s just hope it doesn’t go off air again, it’s was starting to feel like another Arrested Development scenario for a moment.

Amongst vampire and werewolf killing presidents, another historical fiction story has been optioned by Hollywood. I Killed Adolf Hitler has been picked up by Studio Eight. The Eisner Award winning graphic novel follows the adventures of a hitman and his complications with travelling back in time to kill Hitler.

Netflix has pulled another one over on cable and premium television. The Weinstein Company announced a deal that will make its movie releases exclusive to Netflix members. The studio has become well known for its production of Oscar award winning movies. Those same movies will be joining the internet revolution.

by Rourke Suicide

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.



[Rourke Suicide in Croft]

This week Rourke takes a shot at explaining why she loves SG's Girl Gamers group.

Members: 838 / Comments: 3,402

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: A less testosterone-filled, but still sometimes competitive, take on the world of gaming. It's always great to see what others are playing, share opinions, and get stoked for new releases with other ladies. Also, breaking the stereotype of nerdy boy gamers and proving that talented and knowledgeable gamers can be fun, sexy, badass, and female!



Also, on a side note, Oogie recently started a new blog called Teek's Gitties for pictures of all us nerdy gamer gals to post sexy pics with our gaming gear! You can find the thread here.

DISCUSSION TIP: Firstly, use your spoilers! No one wants parts or the ending of a game they've been working hard on and/or enjoying ruined for them. Also, remember that everyone has their favorite type of game, so bring respect and don’t be overly competitive.



BEST RANDOM QUOTE: "[Store Harassment] Have any of ya'll ladies ever experienced this? When you step into a game retailer and for some reason guys think it's okay to start holla-ing at you like they've never seen a girl before?"



MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: "Best Zelda Game Ever?" - Who can really decide?!



WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Girls (only) gamers (obviously)!



***
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by Nahp Suicide


[SG Photographer DarrylDarko]


[Rambo in A Day With A Suicide Girl.]


[Carrina in A Day With A Suicide Girl.]

DarrylDarko has been a photographer for SuicideGirls since 2009. He lives in San Jose, California and has been working on an interesting SG side project called "A Day With A Suicide Girl." So far he’s shot Rambo and Carrina for this series.

How did you first get involved with SuicideGirls?

I had known about SuicideGirls for a really long time, and the site has always drawn me in one way or another, but I didn't get involved with the site until I found Saint, on Model Mayhem. I had never really thought about seriously shooting for the site until I met her and after a first initial test shoot we decided to shoot a set. That set, luckily was bought and kind of started my road down the SuicideGirls path. However, it would be awhile though before things really got rolling.

What's your background photography-wise?

I'm almost completely self-taught, other than taking a few courses from some community colleges. I had been shooting for a while already, and they were basic courses I kinda felt I would benefit from to kind of put a bit of structure to all the information I already knew. Looking back, I kind of wish I had gone to something a bit more interactive and challenging than just those courses, but something about art school classes was off-putting.


[You Never Forget Your First...Published Photo]

What was the first photo you had published?

I had entered the Crossroads Trading Company fashion contest with this shot. It won an “Honorable Mention” and they bought the rights to it. At some point in the future after that happened, one of my friends told me to that they were using it at Crossroads stores in Portland as a poster so that was pretty cool at the time.

How would you describe your style?

It's funny how shooting for the site has changed my style. I used to be more into outlandish ideas and wanting to really shoot stuff that was just “different.” With SG sets, I do like the idea of trying to capture the girl as naturally as possible, that's why I kinda stay away from pinup-ish poses because that's not the girl, that would be more of an act they're doing. I'm trying to find a happy balance between the two. I'm still working on that.

What gear do you use?

I used to use a Canon 5D, but have switched to the 7D for the time being. I use 35mm, 50mm, and 24-105mm lenses. I want to go back to full-frame badly.

How important is Photoshop in your final images?

Fairly important. I'm able to give photos an extra punch and screw with the colors to make them stand out more, plus smooth out whatever flaws the picture may have, but I try to stay away from making things look fake.

What gives you ideas and inspires you to create such amazing sets?

I'd say some of the biggest inspirations are found on the site itself. Before I started shooting for the site Cymagen's personal work was a big factor in getting me to shoot more. Since I've been on site, Cherry, Sean and Vermelho were bigger influences. I also had a lot of inspiration from movies and music videos. What I really want to work on more is having a narrative to sets so they're not just 'a girl getting naked' so I've been looking to more editorial shoots and photographers who specialize in that lately.


[Silvi in Silvi Strikes Back]

What is your favorite image?

[Above.] I don't think I could narrow it down to just one but this one of Silvi is one of my favorites.

Tell us why it's your fave and how you achieved it?

It's one of my favorites because as an image it just seems so perfect. The light wraps around her body really nicely giving it this comforting “bathed in light” feel. This shot was achieved by light coming through the window in the front, but also there was light coming through a window on the left-hand side but it bounced off the ground, which was hard wood and gave it that nice side lighting. Some minor Photoshop enhancements and that’s what you get. The funny story about shooting this set was that when we arrived at the location I found that my camera’s battery was dead, despite me charging it the night before. Luckily my friend’s roomate had a Rebel and I was able to use that camera with one of my lenses. Everything worked out in the end.

Is there anybody or anything you would love to photograph that you haven't? (And tell us why)

Yes, I have an entire list of girls on site that I'd love to shoot someday. I'll just list three:

- 1. Patton - because she defines 'blonde bombshell' perfectly. I've been told I have a thing for blondes though...

- 2. Radeo - because she's Radeo.

- 3. GoGo - she has this awesome presence in photos and is the perfect mix of a supermodel and SuicideGirl.


[Carrina in 100 Degrees]

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by Darrah de jour



Unless you live under a rock, or were raised in a Big Love-type compound, then you’ve probably heard of adult film star, sex positive activist, author, hottie, feminist, and nurse, Nina Hartley (or at least fawned over her ass, unknowingly). She was a guest on SuicideGirls Radio earthier this month, and was so astoundingly on-point about sex and sensuality, that I couldn’t help but probe her some more. She’s been in hundreds of adult films, played William H. Macy's wife in heat in Boogie Nights, and appeared on Oprah in defense of blue movies; but what stands out most is her eloquence. Listen in as Hartley describes open relationships, commodifying oneself in the name of success, and where Jenna Jameson may have gone wrong.

Darrah de jour: I read that you said, when you got into the adult business, you were blessed with two popular fetish items: "Big, baby-blue eyes and that round butt with a high, small waist." Your butt become your trademark – one of my career goals, I can’t fail to mention! But what caught me, was your use of the word “items.” How much do you have to commodify yourself when marketing you in the adult industry (not unlike show biz)? Are you detached or disembodied ever during performances?

Nina Hartley: No more or less than any other entertainer. It’s helpful to understand one’s impact on the target audience. In my case that was going to be heterosexual men. I understood that eyes are the feature that men notice first and I’ve long known that “big baby blues” are considered a positive, feminine feature to possess. I went blonde because our culture views blondes as “the prettiest,” and I wanted to stack the deck. If I had had big, brown eyes I’d have gone for a dark auburn color. I didn’t have to commodify my ass, as that’s done for me by men’s unbidden reaction to seeing it displayed nicely. I find it sweet and cute, as they seem to regress to teenagers around it, and I have compassion for all those frustrated young men. Like any woman I can find “fault” with this or that aspect of my physical appearance but I also know that others don’t share my issues. So, if I just shut up about it they never notice. It’s been a good lesson.

Ddj: Jenna Jameson co-authored a book, How To Make Love Like A Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale. Subsequently, during an interview with Anderson Cooper, Jenna said that if her daughter wanted to be in porn, she would “tie her in the closet. Only because this is such a hard industry for a woman to get ahead and get the respect that she deserves. I fought tooth and nail to get to where I am, and it's not something that I would want my daughter to go through. It's not something that any parent would choose for their child.” I understand you didn’t have an interest in having children, but can you sympathize with what Jameson is saying?

NH: Absolutely! The life of an entertainer is very hard, and the life of an erotic entertainer even more so, as there’s no social benefit to that career choice. Jenna is, financially, the most successful woman ever to make adult movies and it came at a very high cost, both public and private. It’s a stigma that never leaves you and her kids will have to deal with it. It will make their adolescence very challenging, though they’ll come through it enough to appreciate her in the long run. I make porn because I’m queer, which Jenna is not, and because I have a bigger message about sex that I needed to disseminate, which Jenna never did. She wanted to be famous and she got it, but I don’t know if it made her happy or not.

Ddj: Jameson wrote in her book, “I was willing to do anything to be someone who everyone loved. Looking back on it, it was just a new type of insecurity replacing the old one, and I was giving myself away to the needs and expectations of the public instead of the needs and expectations of the men in my life. It was just a new form of dependence developing. And it was equally detrimental to any sort of emotional stability.” Do you think sex work can be an addiction?

NH: I don’t believe anyone can be “addicted” to something that is not chemical. I know it’s unfashionable to say so, but I come from an older, medical model. So, no, I don’t think sex, or sex work, can be an addiction. That doesn’t mean it can’t be dreadfully harmful to those who do it.

I think any behavior can be used to avoid or ignore deeper emotional crises or conflicts. Work, drugs, drink, shopping, exercise, eating disorders, compulsive (fill in the blank), and, yes, sex, can, and are, used to stuff feelings, avoid responsibility, do self-harm, be an acting out of deep emotional issues of anger, alienation, rebellion, loneliness, etc.
When one’s life is out of control it doesn’t matter about the what. It does matter about the how and the why.

Ddj: Jameson also wrote, “I never take the time to feel the effects of my choices. Maybe it’s because I would be ashamed, maybe afraid. I realize I have avoided my pain for as long as I can remember. As life goes racing by me, all the while my soul goes on with sickness. Yes, sickness. It feels like it’s ailing. Because the one that should be nursing it is too busy trying to succeed and be accepted. I’m certainly scared that if I try to fix what has broken in me, so long ago, I may not succeed. So I go on faking that I am whole, proud, and strong…” Do you feel like you came into the adult industry feeling healthy and strong? Do you think that wholeness can be fostered there or is hard won?

NH: I did come into the industry feeling healthy and strong. Don’t forget, I was a full seven years older than she was when she started. I came from an intact family. I grew up in a time (the ‘60s and ‘70s) and place (Berkeley, California) that gave rise to second wave feminism so I had exposure to those ideas, as well as the new thinking about sex, sexuality, and sexual expression. I had a college education, as had my parents and my grandparents. I was never beaten. I did well in school and never missed a day. You get the picture. I was more self-aware than most who stumble into porn by accident. My low self-esteem was manifested by my unhealthy relationship off camera. On camera and on set I was strong. It was only when I went home that my life was BS.

Ddj: How serious is substance abuse in the adult film world?

NH: No more than the entertainment industry as a whole. Some are sober. Some are casual users and some have problems with over-use.

Ddj: Despite Sharon Mitchell’s valiant efforts with the now defunct AIM, before it closed, there were several HIV scares, one as recent as 2011. How much anxiety did you have going into the industry, and at various times in your career about the risk of contracting an STD?

NH: I didn’t have a lot of anxiety about STDs, as I know that they’re a risk for any sexually active person. I was sexually active before I got on camera and would have remained so if I had never made a movie. As a nurse and a practical person I believe in the risk-reduction/harm mitigation approach to sex work. There is probability and possibility and I decided, in 1984, given how porn is shot, that the risk of contracting HIV on a set was acceptable to me. I just made sure I didn’t engage in known high-risk behaviors: letting men ejaculate inside of me, doing needle drugs or having sex with those who did, working with gay or bisexual men, refraining from anal sex, making sure I didn’t work if I had vaginal abrasions, etc. If I had been super-scared about STDs I’d not have made movies in the first place. STDs are a risk for any sexually active person and I accept that. I mitigate my risk in other areas by not smoking, making sure to wear seat belts, not drunk driving, not sun tanning, eating healthfully, etc. In the end, we’re all going to die. My favorite bumper sticker: “Life: Sexually Transmitted and 100% Fatal.”

Ddj: Adult film crossover star Sasha Grey stated that her guest starring role on HBO’s Entourage was not wholly unlike filming on a porn set. There was just more blocking. Let’s talk about your role in Boogie Nights. How was that experience for you in general, and how was it similar or different from making an adult film?

NH: Ms. Grey is correct. A movie shoot is a movie shoot is a movie shoot. It’s simply a matter of budget. When I did Boogie Nights we sometimes had as many as 15 takes of one scene. In porn we’re lucky if we get three. We have a snack table, Hollywood has multiple catering stations, etc. Even the micro-budget movies, where the stars do their own makeup, etc., still have two to three weeks to film. The average full-plot feature (as differentiated from gonzo or scene-by-scene shooting) is still only two to three day’s worth of shooting.

Ddj: I’ve noticed that a lot of adult film stars – Sasha Grey being one of them – are devoutly atheist. On the SG Radio show, you said that you are atheist as well, and I wonder, do you think somebody could be in the adult industry – in any facet – and be spiritual or religious?

NH: Many adult performers are believing Christians. I know some company owners are members of their church or temple, and many are raising their kids within a religious tradition. I’m not quite sure how the Christians mentally balance the monogamous/adultery aspect of making movies, but the one couple I know who publicly claim their faith manage the mental gymnastics by saying that work is not love, and that they only love their wife/husband. OK, if you say so. There are lots of performers who claim to be “spiritual” though. Lots of them do yoga, etc.

Ddj: You are openly bisexual – yay, so am I And you’re in a polyamorous marriage. I am very interested in how you’ve negotiated this with your husband Ira Levine?

NH: His nom de porn is Ernest Greene, just so you know. We just both knew that, when we got together, that being open was part of it. We met in 1989 when he was the assistant director (AD) to Sharon Cain. I liked him right away, for many reasons. We had an affair from ’91 to ’92, when I broke it off to go back and “work on my marriage.” I already knew it was dead but wasn’t ready to face that fact and break it off. If I had to do it over again I’d have gone home the first day I met him and given notice to my exes. Oy.

Ira’s and my first sexual encounter was as part of a threesome. He was politely watching Ms. Cain and me fool around on the living room floor (very unusual for Ms. Cain, as she preferred gay men). I saw him discretely masturbating and said, “Would you like a blowjob?” Being no fool he said yes, and we enjoyed ourselves very much.

What makes Ira perfect for me is that he has a complete lack of jealousy or sexual possessiveness. Our having an open relationship was a prerequisite for becoming a couple, as I had decided that I’d be single for life and have cats and lovers before I’d ever mate again with a jealous person.

I don’t think I own my partner’s genitals and I can’t have as a partner anyone who thinks s/he owns mine. We’re one of those very rare couples that play together with others as well as having solo play dates with our friends. I know his romantic life is with me but there’s a lot more to his inner life than romance and it’s important that all of his sexual nature get to come out and play, even if it’s with someone else. The sex we have alone when he’s been with someone else previously is smokin’.

Ddj: You had a really funny quote that you are now working with women younger than your breast implants. How are you treated differently now that you are in the MILF category versus ingénue?

NH: If I’m treated differently it’s because I’m a veteran of many years standing. I usually work with young men and women because the genre likes playing with extremes and contrasts: skin color, age, size, etc.

Ddj: Has your sex drive waned over the years, or remained strong?

NH: Since most of my sex drive is in my head, it’s as strong as ever. I’ve rarely, in my life, been genitally horny. When I’m alone I rarely masturbate but if I have a potential partner who wants to get sexual, I’m interested right away.

Ddj: When did you have your sexual peak?

NH: For the past 28 years, I suppose. One reason porn has been good for me is that I don’t fit into any box that society has for me: Woman, wife, young, middle-aged, monogamous, etc. I guess I was most active between 25-40, when I did movies, stripping, and went to a lot of swinger conventions.

Ddj: Earlier this year The Los Angeles City Council passed an ordinance requiring condoms to be used in all permitted adult films shot within their city limits. Adult actress Lorelei Lee has called this a “mistake” and a “misguided” decision. Many speculate that the West Valley, my old hood, also known as Porn Valley, will simply lose its porn hub status, being replaced by New Hampshire (the only other state where filming porn is legal) or go further underground. What do you think of the condom-mandatory ruling?

NH: It’s a politically motivated disaster. Unenforceable. Driven by greed, hubris and megalomania on the part of Michael Weinstein, of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. Condoms should be voluntary, with no one losing work because they prefer to use condoms. That, unfortunately, is not usually the case. Most performers strongly prefer bareback scenes with a tested partner and external ejaculation. It’s the long history of external ejaculation that has kept HIV out of the porn and swinger populations for the past 30 years. The two confirmed cases on on-set transmission both resulted from anal “cream pie” scenes, where the male performer ejaculates inside the receptive partner, the highest risk act that there is in porn. Let me ask this: given a choice would you prefer to do a condom scene with a partner who was HIV+ or whose HIV status was unknown to you, or with a tested partner who ejaculated on your breasts? I thought so.

Ddj: I interviewed Tristan Taormino last year. She is active in the poly community and you two worked together on The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. She considers herself a feminist pornographer. What is different for you about feminist porn versus regular porn?

NH: As a general rule “feminist” porn tries to create a good work environment for the performers. As well, it seeks to portray sex, even rougher sex, as consensual, not to portray the women as bimbos or sluts, etc. Some of it has more involved story lines. Some of it includes GLBTQ performers (“straight” porn is notoriously gay-phobic) who don’t conform to mainstream notions of what “sexy,” “masculine,” “feminine” are supposed to mean or look like. Feminist porn is made by those men and women who have strong ideas about sex, sexuality, and sexual expression, and who want to get their ideas out there into the wider marketplace. Feminist porn tries very hard not to dehumanize or overly objectify the performers, not to insult the intelligence or integrity of the consumer.

Ddj: Do you think porn teaches boys and men bad sex habits and false ideas around intimacy and women’s orgasms? For example, in many films a woman comes two minutes into cunnilingus. The average women comes after about 16-24 minutes, according to my internet research, ahem.

NH: If all of the information about “how sex works” is garnered from commercial porn, then, yes, it showcases bad habits and promotes unrealistic ideas about female pleasure (male pleasure, too, as most men can’t last 40 minutes). If a person can’t/doesn’t/won’t pay attention to his or her actual, live partner, then porn isn’t going to make it worse. The cunnilingus they do show is bogus and lame, as real cunnilingus doesn’t show much of the vulva or clitoris, as that’s all happening under the lips. This is a MOVIE, folks. Your mileage may vary.

Our whole system does a piss-poor job of teaching our young people about healthy sexuality. It’s sad that people are reduced to looking at an entertainment medium for nuggets of usable information. My teaching tapes address this directly, if a viewer learns something useful from most movies, it’s almost an accident.

Having said that, I always used my time on screen to role model good sexual behavior, as well as effective techniques for oral and hand sex. Why? Because I knew people were using porn to try to learn about sexual behavior – this was before I started my educational series with Adam&Eve.

Ddj: You played Hillary Rodham Clinton in Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?, a porn parody. How do you feel about Sarah Palin? Should she be feared by liberals?

NH: I think she’s a poor excuse for a politician, though she seems to be a very savvy self-promoter who was able to tap into the anti-liberal zeitgeist. She’s not smart or educated enough to be president, though she has a native cunning about her, I dare say. She’s ambitious, and Americans have always been uncomfortable with naked female ambition.

Ddj: Tyra Banks is very vocal about her anti-sex work ideology and Dr. Drew has said sex addicts are attracted to and stuck in sex work. You appeared on Oprah in defense of porn. Would you appear on national TV again? And, if so, what would you say to detractors like Drew and Banks?

NH: I’d ask them to please stop painting all of us with the same old, tired stereotyped brush. The notion that sex work is always bad, and that sex workers are always unhappy/abuse survivors/victims is simply old puritanical ideology about “proper” female behavior/desires/roles gussied up in modern, feminist language. I find Dr. Drew annoying, condescending, judgmental, very vanilla in his outlook – non-traditional sexual expression skeeves him out – and fairly ignorant of the lives of most sex workers. If all the sex workers he meets find their way to him because of addiction issues, why does he ridiculously extrapolate that small sample to be representative of the experiences of all sex workers? Has he ever bothered to talk to a control group of sex workers who, gasp, like their jobs and find them fulfilling? Oops. That would be a negative.

Tyra Banks is just another woman who is also skeeved out by “sluts,” and “skanks,” and thinks she knows how to save them from themselves. I find her “analysis” to be shallow, based in assumptions and judgment, and insulting on the face of it. Sex workers are a varied population and each worker has his/her own reasons for doing the job. Some like their job most days, some hate it most days, and some wish they could find a way out. So, help those who want out to get out,if you can do so without shaming them – hard to do for the mainstream culture. And help those who like their jobs to do it more safely. The best thing to do for sex workers, if people really wanted to help, would be to decriminalize consensual sex work. It would free up a lot of legal space to actually go after sexual predators and criminals, and would let women work together for safety.

Ddj: You’ve won more accolades, I think, than any adult film star. Is there any category that you haven’t won in that you are still hoping to land a golden trophy for?

NH: I haven’t won an award in many years. Community Service would be good, but my husband deserves that much sooner, as he was one of the founders of AIM [a clinic which was set up to test adult performers for STDs] and has been completely overlooked by the powers that hand out such things. I doubt I’ll get an award for MILF of the Year, but I’m OK with that.

Ddj: There are many men that will hypocritically get off to porn, but then call the women who are in the videos “sluts” and “whores”. What is your feeling about this Madonna-whore complex that seems inherent in many men?

NH: On one hand, fuck ‘em. On the other hand, it’s such a deep part of the culture that one can hardly blame them for absorbing the rhetoric about it. If a man disses a woman for having sexual knowledge, then she should show him the door without apology, and then hold out for a man who appreciates her skill and understanding.

I don’t know what it would take for this to be rooted out. We have a religiously based legal system that assumes that women are pure and sexless, guardians of home and hearth, and that men are bestial and primitive. For many years prostitution was promoted as a way for men to express their baser urges on fallen women, so they wouldn’t subject their delicate wives to the ugly male desire.

Ddj: Should women be as responsible as men are for their orgasms? How do we claim our orgasm’s equal importance after a man has achieved his?

NH: No one gives any one an orgasm. All we can do is to assist our partners in finding their own. If he finishes first and she still needs more she can: kick him out, claiming an early day and then masturbate alone; she can recline in his lap so he can play with her boobs while she masturbates to a finish; she can masturbate during sex so she can have an orgasm before him. I always come after my partner, as my orgasm is very hard to achieve, and trying too hard during intercourse just takes me away from the moment. I can come whenever I want, so not coming during sex is not a big deal to me.

Ddj: How much of a problem is unwanted pregnancy resulting from adult film work?

NH: More than you’d think, as many women aren’t on birth control! I’ve heard of at least four pregnancies during the course of my career, and I’m always flabbergasted that a woman would fuck men without using birth control.

Ddj: Are there any sexual fantasies that you haven’t fulfilled yet?

NH: Well, there are the various celebrities that I think are hot, fucking in zero gravity, fucking underwater, as a mermaid, not in a scuba mask, fucking on the 50-yard line during halftime with the action being displayed on the JumboTron. That kind of thing.

Ddj: Who are your heroes?

NH: Maya Angelou, Margaret Sanger, Frederick Douglass, Malcolm X, Betty Dodson, Carol Queen, Robert Lawrence, Annie Sprinkle, Harriet Tubman, Helen Keller, to name a few. I’m sure there are plenty more.

Ddj: What’s next for you?

NH: More writing, developing myself as a pundit and public speaker, spoken word performance, making my website more profitable, leading workshops on sex, sexuality and sexual expression, being a great-aunt to my amazing great-nieces and nephews, continuing my role as educator.

Ddj: Last, your most famous quote (and one I’ve pasted to my fridge) is: “Sex isn’t something men do to you. It isn’t something men get out of you. Sex is something you dive into with gusto and like it every bit as much as he does.” Have you always loved sex?

NH: I’ve always loved the idea of sex. It took me many years to actually love it in real life. It took a lot of practice and experience in order for me to say, now, “I never have bad sex any more.” I love sex as an idea, an activity, an expression of desire and passion, as political speech. I loved sex long before I ever even kissed a person. It just always was the most compelling thing to me.

Need more Nina? Visit, Nina.com/ and follow her on Twitter.

***
Post-feminist sex and sensuality expert Darrah de jour is a freelance journalist who lives in LA with her doggie Oscar Wilde. Her writing has appeared in Marie Claire, Esquire and W. In her Red, White and Femme: Strapped With A Brain - And A Vagina columns for SuicideGirls, Darrah takes a fresh look at females in America. Twice a month, she also co-hosts SG Radio on Indie1031.com. Subscribe to her blog at Darrahdejour.com/, friend her on Facebook, and Listen to her wax sensual at WingGirlMethod.com/.



Related Posts:
Red, White and Femme: Premarital Sex At Dawn - A Conversation with Fleshbot’s Lux Alptraum
Red, White and Femme: Superheroes
Red, White and Femme: The Girl Zone – Whore Meet Madonna Part 2
Red, White and Femme: The Girl Zone – Madonna Meet Whore Part 1
Red, White and Femme: When Mean Girls Grow Up
Red, White and Femme: Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Polyamory, Part II
Red, White and Femme: Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Polyamory Part I – With Annie Sprinkle
Red, White and Femme: America is FUGLY
Red, White and Femme: Trusting The Ring of Purity - Faith vs Sex Education
Red, White and Femme Fearless Femme Spotlight: Mia Tyler

by SG's Team Agony feat. Seizure

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Seizure in Mirror Mirror]

Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over six months now. I love him, and he's great to/for me. But he talks about marriage and spending our lives together. I know that doesn't have to be right away, but even thinking about it gives me terrible butterflies in my stomach, and not the good kind. I'm almost 19 and I've never even thought about getting married, let alone at such a young age. The thing is, I can move past the marriage talk, but there's something else in the way too. I'm enjoying every moment we spend together - the sex is good and he's a total sweetheart who means extremely well - but I don't see myself with him for a while. I'm not a cheater. I will remain faithful. But I can't help flirting with other guys. It's just in my nature to flirt. I can't stop doing it even if I'm with someone. I really want to be with someone else sexually, but I won't do it while I'm with my boyfriend. I guess what I'm saying is I want to have my cake and eat it too. What should I do?

A: My advice to you would be not to look too deeply in to his talks about marriage. Chances are that he's just trying to let you know that he is serious about being with you. Maybe the fact that you are flirty with other guys is what's making him want to let you know that he's so serious about you. As you said, you are still young and so many people get in to relationships too early.

Honestly, if you are flirting with other guys and feel like you want to be with other guys sexually, the fact that you are questioning yourself means that you know that what you are doing is (at least a little) wrong.
 You shouldn't 'have your cake and eat it' unless you are in agreement with your boyfriend that you are both able to have a 'piece of the cake.'
 In short, if you are going to act on your impulses to be with other guys, let him know that you don't want to be with him. Or, let him know that you want this and suggest an open relationship. Most importantly, be honest with him and yourself.



Good luck!

Seizure

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Blogbot



This Sunday (Feb 19) we’re having a women’s writers’ retreat in the SG Radio Studio. Hosts Nicole Powers (SG's Managing Editor) and Darrah de jour (SG’s resident post-feminist sex and sensuality expert) will be joined in studio by Love Junkie author and Writers on Fire coach Rachel Resnick and her frenemy, actress, comedian, playwright and author Lauren Weedman, a.k.a. Horny Patty (we’re told by Rachel that she had that nickname prior to her “cameo” in HBO's Hung!). The two met online on a UCLA Book Proposal Writing course, and have been unhealthily competitive ever since. We therefore expect the claws to be out and the sparks to fly, so it should be a fun show.

When Darrah’s not steering the conversation towards the topic of porn or polyamory, and Nicole's not banging on about Occupy, ACTA or the freakin' NDAA, we'll be more or less on topic, yakking about writing. That's right. Writing. Like, books ‘n’ shit. Stories. Sketches. Plays. Real writing. Surreal writing. Automatic writing. Manual writing. And ghost writing. Since doing this shit is hard. Very hard. Like if you’re JK Rowling rich, fuck it, you should just pay someone else to do it and go get your nails done. Really. But if you’re not, and you’re embarrassed to let people even read your diary – not because it’s too juicy or cringe-worthy, but because it’s too dull – tune in to find out how to make boring shit sound fun, shameless stuff shameful (in a good way), and how to plain just make cool, uncool, and awesomely wrong stuff up.

Tune in to the world's leading naked radio show for two hours of totally awesome tunes and extreme conversation – and don't let yo momma listen in!

Listen to SG Radio live Sunday night from 10 PM til Midnight on suicidegirlsradio.indie1031.com/

Got questions? Then dial our studio hotline digits this Sunday between 10 PM and midnight PST: 323-900-6012

And follow us on Twitter because we like cyberstalkers.

***



_About Rachel Resnick

Rachel Resnick is the author most recently of the SoCal Indie bestselling memoir Love Junkie. Also the author of the Los Angeles Times bestseller Go West Young F*cked-Up Chick, her articles, essays and celebrity profiles have appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Marie Claire, Women's Health, BlackBook and others. She is a contributing editor at Tin House, and the founder of Writers on Fire. She graduated from Yale, holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Vermont College, and lives in Topanga Canyon up the street from where Charles Manson used to park his bus. She once wrote, "I'm here for internal arson. Don't touch me."

Currently she is working on a new memoir, From Love Junkie To Culinary Virgin; and a forthcoming non-fiction anthology and writing guide, The Writers On Fire Reader: How To Add Adventure To Your Writing, And Your Life.

A groundbreaking, compulsively readable memoir, Love Junkie charts Resnick's path from destructive love to intimacy, from despair to hope, and cracks open one of our more elusive and pervasive modern-day addictions. Looking back over years of failed relationships, Resnick identifies a lifelong addiction to love - an addiction to the unfulfilled fantasy of romantic bliss, marriage, and family, and to a string of sexual relationships that only carry her farther from that dream. As she peels back one raw layer after another, she must eventually confront the painful experiences of her childhood-and the difficult work of recovery that lies ahead.

She has taught in and lectured at major writing programs, among them UCLA Extension Writers Program, USC Professional Writing Program, Loyola Marymount, mediabistro.com, Cal Arts, Stanford, LACC, Chapman, Whittier, Emerson, Antioch, UC Riverside/Palm Desert. Resnick is also a seasoned public speaker and moderator who’s spoken everywhere from the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books to Yale University symposiums to a UN-affiliated event. Slake nominated her for a 2011 James Beard Award, the M.F.K. Fisher Distinguished Writing award for her culinary essay "Natural-Born Butcher." She coaches privately with a select few each year; and runs Writers On Fire writing retreats and workshops in Hawaii, France, Spain, Italy, Uruguay, Desert Hot Springs and Los Angeles.

Resnick is a Literary Alchemist, "Transforming Your Deeper Truth Into Story." Known as a motivational asskicker, she helps people achieve creative breakthroughs and change their lives. Recently she launched the Whole Writer Program, which takes a holistic approach to overcoming writing blocks both personal and technical. Writers On Fire addresses and integrates mind, body and spirit. "This retreat saved my life." Ann Carli, film producer, music fairy godmother, and writer. She attended the first Writers On Fire at The Oasis retreat with a five-year-long writing block, and her health was failing. One year later, she's halfway through a novel, her health and self-care have improved radically, and she's returning for the second Oasis retreat Feb. 26-28. Come join!

If you're interested in Writers on Fire, please visit rachelresnick.com and sign up for Rachel's newsletters.

Link Love
http://writersonfire.com/
http://rachelresnick.com/
http://twitter.com/rachelresnick
http://lovejunkie-thejourney.blogspot.com/
http://writersonfire-unplugged.blogspot.com/

***



_About Lauren Weedman

After studying, writing and performing in Amsterdam for five years, Lauren returned to the States with a bang. Her first play, Homecoming, began as a 15-minute performance art piece that grew into a full-length show that ultimately toured with the Seattle Repertory Theatre. Later that year, Homecoming was featured at HBO’s U.S. Comedy Arts Festival and later found it’s way to New York City. The show also earned Lauren the honor of being published in Women Playwrights: The Best Plays of 2002.

The Empty Space Theatre in Seattle commissioned her to do her first musical solo show, Amsterdam (with music and lyrics by James Palmer), and then commissioned her next piece, a solo musical about fame and death called Rash (with music by David Russell), which was recognized by The Seattle Times’ Footlight Awards, with nods for both Best New Play and Best Solo Performance. Lauren’s subsequent show, Wreckage (directed by Jeff Weatherford) told the story of a woman haunted by a horrific lie told in college. After a successful run at the Upright Citizens brigade theatre in Los Angeles, it was selected for The NOW Theatre Festival at the Redcat Theatre.

Some subjects that Lauren has been attracted to in her solo works have been gay adoption, race, death anxiety, fame, stalking, lies, and women in the penal system. Bust, another Empty Space commission, is about her work as a volunteer in the Los Angeles County jail with the organization Friends Outside. It was voted Best of the Arts by The Seattle Times, Seattle Magazine and Boise Weekly. Her performance landed her on the cover of LA Weekly’s Comedy Issue, while her Bust playwriting garnered an Alpert Award.

Her newest show No..You Shutup was commissioned by Boise Contemporary Theater. It was featured as part of Los Angeles’ Redcat Theater New Works festival and is currently touring. Lauren’s work is political / absurdist / realist / physical-dance / situational and comedic with an overall goal of being a narrative solo work. With a background in improvisation, she develops her work on her feet, rarely writing down more than sound cues and rough outlines. Over the years she has become known for her character work and self-deprecating incisive humor that allow the audience to laugh and follow her into awkward, dark, human situations.

Lauren has contributed short stories to Slake magazine and Swivel. Her short story “Diary of a Journal Reader” was also included in Dave Eggars’ Best of Non Required Reading 2007. Sasquatch Books released her first book, a collection of comedic essays, A Woman Trapped In A Woman’s Body (Tales From A Life Of Cringe), which the Kirkus Review identified as one of the Top Ten Indy Books of 2007.

Lauren currently lives and performs in Los Angeles. She made her television debut on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart as a featured correspondent, and has appeared multiple times on Reno 911, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and True Blood. Lauren appeared on the HBO series Hung as Horny Patty, as well as opposite Eddie Murphy in Imagine That and opposite Steve Carell and Tina Fey in Date Night. In the spring of 2012 she can be seen starring with Jason Segal and Emily Blunt in Five Year Engagement.

Link Love:
http://laurenweedman.com
http://twitter.com/laurenweedman
http://youtube.com/watch?v=pygvLsR7jW0

***



_About Darrah de jour

Post-feminist sex and sensuality expert Darrah de jour is a freelance journalist who lives in LA with her dog Oscar Wilde. Her writing has appeared in Marie Claire, Esquire and W. In her "Red, White and Femme: Strapped With A Brain – And A Vagina" columns for SuicideGirls, Darrah takes a fresh look at females in America.

Her recent columns for SG include:

Red, White and Femme: Premarital Sex At Dawn - A Conversation with Fleshbot’s Lux Alptraum
Red, White and Femme: Superheroes
Red, White and Femme: The Girl Zone – Whore Meet Madonna Part 2
Red, White and Femme: The Girl Zone – Madonna Meet Whore Part 1
Red, White and Femme: When Mean Girls Grow Up
Red, White and Femme: Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Polyamory, Part II
Red, White and Femme: Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Polyamory Part I – With Annie Sprinkle
Red, White and Femme: America is FUGLY
Red, White and Femme: Trusting The Ring of Purity - Faith vs Sex Education
Red, White and Femme Fearless Femme Spotlight: Mia Tyler

Link Love:
http://darrahdejour.com/
http://facebook.com/darrahdejour
http://winggirlmethod.com/how-to-take-action-and-get-physical-with-a-woman/

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman)

Our Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane DeKelb-Rittenhouse), it offers a terrifying postmodern vision in the tradition of Blade Runner and Brave New World...

By the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over aging and disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. But only for those who have achieved Conscientious Citizen Status. To combat overpopulation, the U.S. has sealed its borders, instituted compulsory contraception and a strict one child per couple policy for those who are permitted to breed, and made technology-assisted suicide readily available. But in a world where the old can remain vital forever, America’s youth have little hope of prosperity.

Jason Haggerty is an investigator for Black Buttons Inc, the government agency responsible for dispensing personal handheld Kevorkian devices, which afford the only legal form of suicide. An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die. Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

When three teens stage an illegal public suicide, Haggerty suspects their deaths may have been murders. Now his race is on to uncover proof and prevent a nationwide epidemic of copycat suicides. Trouble is, for the first time in history, an entire generation might just decide they’re better off dead.

(Catch up with the previous installments of Killswitch – see links below – then continue reading after the jump…)



[THE KILLSWITCH REVIEW – CHAPTER NINE, PART ONE]

[GHOSTS IN THE MACHINE]

[Previous Chapter]

Antonio Stelwyn probably wanted him dead but Haggerty had no one else to turn to. Ten hours had passed since the triple press, ten hours in which copycats had to have been escalating. Anyone in another time zone who had been asleep when it happened had woken to a media barrage that, with nothing to counter it, was going to bring about Doug’s worst-case scenario.

The hearse off-looped at the Northside terminus and parked in a public garage. Haggerty and Elsa walked briskly along a blue slate footpath bordered by carefully manicured grass and intermittent wrought-iron benches beneath lush palm trees — all real. If Haggerty was wealthy and Sasha DeAngelo a rung above him on NewVada’s economic ladder, Antonio Stelwyn was in the top one percent worldwide.

At the end of the path the SDS tower soared into the predawn sky. Home to the wealthiest citizens of NewVada, the building was a monument to man’s triumph over Sensory Deprivation Syndrome, the last major medical epidemic of the twenty-first century, and the eradication of all human disease. Haggerty pushed a button on the automated system at the entrance, hoping the Stelwyns would not call the police before he could plead his case.

“Stelwyn residence,” a male voice responded smoothly.

“I need to speak with Mr. Stelwyn,” Haggerty said. “It’s a matter of grave importance. I’m the man who saw the recording of his son.”

The door released. Do nothing if we encounter hostility, Elsa, Haggerty linked as they crossed the lobby. Let me handle it. The tube doors were open and waiting. They shot upward a hundred stories to the penthouse. A soft chime announced their arrival as the doors opened.

“Proceed carefully, Mr. Haggerty.” Antonio Stelwyn greeted them with an antique revolver clutched ready in his right hand. “I know how to use this.”

Obviously Stelwyn had seen the last viewcast. He was dressed in a bathrobe over nightclothes, mouth pinched and thin, his face ashen and unshaved.

“I’m sorry if I seemed rude to you earlier,” Haggerty said. “I was doing my job.”

“And now you’re a fugitive.”

“I’m trying to continue my investigation, Mr. Stelwyn, and I need your help.”

Stelwyn did nothing to hide his astonishment.

“You said you believe Tyler was coerced into pressing.”

“I still believe it.”

“I have evidence that proves you’re right.”

“I want to believe you, Mr. Haggerty,” Stelwyn said, his face a mixture of conflicting emotions. “But how can I when you’re the prime suspect?”

“I’m a prime suspect because of what I know and the evidence I have. Would I come here if I didn’t have proof, knowing I could never escape if you didn’t want me to?”

“Let’s see what you have,” Stelwyn said, lowering the gun. “Come into my study.”

Stelwyn led them through the polished-granite foyer large as Haggerty’s entire compartment past a small, cascading waterfall with a pool teaming with live koi at its base. The shelves in Stelwyn’s study were real wood and packed with leather-bound volumes — an extravagant display of wealth. Trees were sacred, the oxygen they produced too precious, to allow them to be turned into paper, and the only surviving paper books were registered antiques. Haggerty caught part of a gilded title, Do Androids Dream, and wished he were here for purely social reasons. He was reasonably proud of his own library; his slim replitext contained hundreds of classic and modern works he’d loaded into it over his lifetime. But what was a digital library compared to actual books, each volume dedicated to a single work? What would it feel like to hold one in his hands? He wasn’t going to find out today.

Exhaustion made Stelwyn’s tempramassage couch vastly more enticing than the prospects of handling an antique. Haggerty sank onto it without waiting to be invited and popped his last celtrex, hoping to keep the ants at bay a while longer. Stelwyn sat in a chair across from him and waited.

“I must warn you, Mr. Selwyn,” Haggerty began. “It’s clear that Tyler didn’t think you would ever view his recording. He was engaged in behavior that may be difficult for you to see.”

“If it will help me find out who was responsible for my son’s death, I want to see it,” Stelwyn said flatly.

Haggerty instructed Elsa to play the recording at half room projection, same speed and coding as their last viewing, and walked Stelwyn through it.

“As you can see, Tyler presses but the drug isn’t lethal. It simply enhances sexual pleasure,” Haggerty said gently.

Stelwyn’s expression was grim as he viewed the rush to the stage, the screaming crowd, the press. “Why is it still recording?” he asked, choking back a sob, bewildered as the recording went on and on. Finally Elsa’s hand retrieved the box and the projection ended.

“I want you to know how deeply sorry I am for what I’m about to say,” Haggerty warned. “The recording continued because Tyler was still alive, though unconscious. The press didn’t kill him. Someone injected him with the toxins used by BBI after his body was collected and sent on to the morgue. Your son was murdered.”

Stelwyn groaned in pain. He buried his head in his hands. “Who did it? Who murdered my boy?” he asked softly.

“I’m trying to find out,” Haggerty answered. “The likely suspects are all people who want to see this recording erased. That’s why I brought it to you. I deeply regret your son’s death, Mr. Stelwyn. I lost my son two years ago in a car crash.”

Stelwyn raised his tear-streaked face from his hands and for a moment they were two grieving fathers. “How did you go on?” he asked Haggerty.

“To be honest, I’m not sure I did. My son’s death pretty much ruined me and my family. But I hope now that you know what I’ve learned —”

The study door opened abruptly. Stelwyn’s wife, dressed in bedclothes, hurried to her husband’s side. Her face was etched with sorrow, her beautiful raven hair unbraiding.

“Antonio, what’s going on? Harold said someone was here to see you about Tyler.” She looked up and saw Haggerty. “You! You’ve changed your face but they showed the images. You’re the one they’re looking for. You killed my son!”

Stelwyn stood up. “Mr. Haggerty’s not responsible, Sylvia,” he said gently. “He has information for me.”

“What kind of information? Why doesn’t he take it to the police?”

“I don’t have enough evidence yet, ma’am. I was hoping your husband could help me get to the bottom of what happened. For Tyler’s sake.”

Sylvia Stelwyn glared at him. “Don’t you dare speak my baby’s name.” She turned to her husband. “Don’t you see? If he had real evidence, he would have turned himself in and let the authorities handle things. But he doesn’t. He’s desperate and he’s trying to use you, use your pain. He’ll get away with giving Tyler that filthy box if you let him.”

“That’s enough, Sylvia.” Stelwyn took his distraught wife in his arms. “I promise you, I’m not being used. Mr. Haggerty has shown me very convincing proof of what happened to our son.”

“Show it to me!”

Stelwyn and Haggerty exchanged a look.

“It’s too disturbing, darling. Trust me that I know what I’m doing. Please?”

Sylvia closed her eyes in pain. “I always trust you, Antonio,” she said tiredly. “Haven’t I trusted you for the past sixty years?”

“Go to bed and I promise to explain everything in the morning.”

She drew away from his embrace. “Of course, darling.” She gave him a thin, watery smile. “Do what you need to do.”

“Thank you, beloved.”

Stelwyn kissed her forehead tenderly. He led her to the door of the study. They exchanged a few words too low for Haggerty to hear. Sylvia laid her palm on her husband’s cheek; Stelwyn kissed the palm. Sylvia smiled sadly. Standing on tiptoe, she kissed her husband’s cheek and turned away. Stelwyn closed the door behind her.

Haggerty wondered if he’d have been able to bear Josh’s death better if Lorraine had remained with him to share the loss and pain. “If I may offer some advice,” he began delicately, “have someone keep an eye on her. The suicide of an only child frequently leads to the suicide of a parent.”

Stelwyn nodded grimly. He headed toward the com on his desk and placed a call, speaking in low, urgent tones, then returned to Haggerty and Elsa.

“If something happens to her . . . I want revenge, Mr. Haggerty. Now tell me, who is trying to stop you from releasing this recording?”

“I’m not clear how deep the conspiracy runs,” Haggerty said. “It might be my own people trying to set off a contagion of suicides among young people as some kind of unholy population control. Whoever is behind this left little to chance — and that includes the choice of your son. Do you know of anyone who would want to strike at you?”

“I have many enemies, Mr. Haggerty.”

“Do you have a listing of all of your corporations, Mr. Stelwyn?” Elsa requested. “I may be able to correlate data and find something that connects to all of this.”

Stelwyn offered Elsa a chair at his computer and began clicking keys.

Haggerty stood, arms crossed, anxiously digging his fingers into his biceps. “Do you have any celtrex you can spare, Mr. Stelwyn?” he asked.

“In the bathroom down the hall, medicine cabinet,” Stelwyn called over his shoulder.

Haggerty made his way quickly to a garish bathroom larger than a public restroom. He was sweating as he opened the cabinet, found the celtrex cannister, and transferred a few to his pillcase. He pulled out the white box. If he pressed again there would be only one dose left as evidence. The battalion of ants gnawed at his nerves. This isn’t about you, he told his reflection in the mirror. Swear on Josh’s memory that this is the last time.

The digital reader clicked to “6”; Haggerty contained a moan as bliss coursed through his system. Weak-kneed, he returned to the study, pleasantly dazed as he retook a seat on the couch.

Stelwyn and Elsa scanned data silently. “Find what you needed?” Stelwyn asked.

“Thanks,” Haggerty said.

He forced himself to focus. While the drug enabled him to continue his investigation, it made it increasingly difficult for him to care.

“I see that you own a pharmaceutical company that manufactures the serum BBI uses in its KV units, as well as the KV units themselves,” Elsa said.

“North American Health Initiatives,” Stelwyn confirmed.

“This whole thing’s about drugs that kill,” Haggerty said. He gave Stelwyn an abbreviated account of what went on at the Last Supper Club. Stelwyn was clearly disgusted. “The club is run by a young man who calls himself Max,” Haggerty said. “He’s in league with a BBI junior review agent named Corbin. I sent the FBI there but Max was prepared. By the time they showed up, nothing was left of the club but one piece of evidence that implicates me.”

Stelwyn frowned. “Tyler had a friend named Max. He was an Indivisible, as I recall. Ban the Box crowd, part of the Religious Right.”

“That must be how Tyler came into contact with the other kids who pressed,” Haggerty said. “But they hate BBI. And Max doesn’t oppose death now, he deals it.”

“Maybe you do have enough evidence,” Stelwyn said. “I can pull strings at the mayor’s office.”

“No offense, Mr. Stelwyn, but I doubt even you could help me turn my evidence into freedom,” Haggerty responded. “I still need to find out how the band fits into the picture and the motivation behind this.”

“If you need to find that boy Max’s motivation, go to the man who molded him.”

“If we knew who his father was . . .”

“Not his father,” Stelwyn said. “We hope and pray it will be us, but it rarely is. I’m talking about Yosif Svoboda, the man who founded the Indivisibles. He’s been on both sides of picket lines at any number of my firms. He’s a retired NASA scientist with a stunning command of technology. He can argue technical points beyond the comprehension of most protesters. I’ve heard him speak. Joe Svoboda is a very charismatic man.”

Joe, Haggerty thought. The Anglicized version of Yosif. Regina had spoken of her friend Joe who jacked the Indranet and built bulletproof tek. Could she have meant Yosif Svoboda? And if so, would she have flown to his side?

“How can I find him?” he asked Stelwyn.

“That’s a good question. I’m sure the FBI would like to know the answer. He’s just below you on their most wanted list. Top of mine.”

A knock at the study door. “Come in,” Stelwyn said.

A man in the formal attire of a butler poked in his head. “Sir, there are several members of the police downstairs, led by a Detective Woyzeck. They’re demanding to have a word with you.”

“Show them into the morning room, Harold,” Stelwyn said calmly. “Tell them I’ll be with them directly. Offer them whatever they like to keep them occupied, but avoid answering questions until I get there.”

“Very good, sir.”

“Damn it, Sylvia,” Stelwyn swore quietly when they were alone again. He gave Haggerty a hard look. “If anything you’ve told me is rigged . . .”

“I’ve told you the truth, nothing was rigged,” Haggerty said.

“Can your assistant fly a Jetpod 786?”

“I can,” Elsa said.

Stelwyn extracted a keycard from a desk drawer and passed it to Haggerty. “It’s on the roof,” Stelwyn said. “Take it and contact me when you know more. I’ll hold them off as long as I can. Of course, I have to tell the police you forced it from me.”

“Of course,” Haggerty said. “Be careful. Woyzeck may be in on this.”

“I’m a sensible man, Mr. Haggerty. Get more evidence.”

Stelwyn moved to the door and left.

“Jason, do you believe Regina may be with this man, Yosif Svoboda,” Elsa asked as soon as they were alone.

“There’s a very good chance,” Haggerty replied. “What’ve you got?”

“From reading Regina’s notes, I understand she doesn’t trust the com system, Jason. She thinks it’s too vulnerable to cracking. She uses her personal electricity protocol for communication through her handheld. If I access the main electrical power supply system terminals, I think I can now cross correlate for her PE signature and determine her location. But this will alert BBI to our whereabouts.”

“They know we were here anyway,” he said. He glanced at a grandfather clock in the corner. “Do it fast, Elsa.”

Her android fingers blurred at the computer terminal’s holographic keypanel. Holoscreens came and went faster than Haggerty could follow. “She gained access in your compartment,” Elsa said. “That’s one address. We can assume she accessed often from her own address. There, I’ve isolated the signature of her handheld. Let’s hope the power company updates continuously.” More screens flashed past. “I’ve got her signature, Jason. Used less than half an hour ago.”

“Then clear your trail and let’s go find her.”

They scrambled up to the roof and into the hangar. Elsa keyed the ignition; thrusters fired the small craft off the SDS complex into open sky.

Haggerty looked beneath his feet through the pod’s viewer and saw Detective Woyzeck standing below them — red-faced, fists in the air, middle fingers jabbing upward. His curses were muffled by the sound of the jetpod engines.

* * *

Excerpt from The Killswitch Review, published by Yard Dog Press. Copyright 2011 Steven-Elliot Altman.

Steven-Elliot Altman is a bestselling author, screenwriter, and videogame developer. He won multiple awards for his online role playing game, 9Dragons. His novels include Captain America is Dead, Zen in the Art of Slaying Vampires, Batman: Fear Itself, Batman: Infinite Mirror, The Killswitch Review, The Irregulars, and Deprivers. His writing has been compared to that of Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Michael Crichton and Philip K. Dick, and he has collaborated with world class writers such as Neil Gaiman, Michael Reaves, Harry Turtledove and Dr. Janet Asimov. He’s also the editor of the critically acclaimed anthology The Touch, and a contributor to Shadows Over Baker Street, a Hugo Award winning anthology of Sherlock Holmes meets H.P. Lovecraft stories.

Steven also bares ink on his body, and is bi, as in bi-coastal, between NYC and LA. He’s currently hard at work writing and directing his latest videogame Cursed Love, an online free to play gothic horror RPG from Dark Hermit Studios, set in Victorian London. Think Sherlock Holmes, Jack The Ripper and Dorian Gray mercilessly exploit the cast of Twilight. Friend Cursed Love (Official Closed Beta) on facebook and you can have fun playing out this tawdry, tragic romance with Steven while the game is being beta tested!

Diane DeKelb-Rittehouse spent several years in Manhattan as an actress before marrying her college sweetheart and returning to the Philadelphia area where she had been born. Diane first worked with Steven-Elliot Altman when they created the acclaimed, Publisher’s Weekly Starred-Review anthology The Touch: Epidemic of the Millennium, in which her story “Gifted” appeared. Diane has published a number of critically acclaimed short stories, most notably in the science fiction, murder, and horror genres. Her young adult fantasy novel, Fareie Rings: The Book of Forests, is now available in stores or online.

Interested in buying a printed copy of The Killswitch Review? Well, Steve’s publisher Yard Dog Press was kind enough to put up a special page where SuicideGirls can get a special discount and watch a sexy trailer. Just follow this link to KillswitchReview.com and click on the SG logo.

* * *

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Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Four
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part One
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by Blogbot



[Cherrybomb]



[Nahp Suicide]

Artist / SG Member Name: Jake Prendez a.k.a. Tattoo_Jake

Mission Statement: I live because of art. It was my avenue out of gangs, it was there for me when my mom was sick, it was there for me during all my break ups. It has always been my outlet that has allowed me to express what I couldn’t say in words. I was raised to leave a place better then when I got there and I try to use my talents to make this world a little bit better.

Medium: Mostly Acrylic and aerosol.



[Carrina Suicide]

Aesthetic: My style is heavily influenced by street and subversive art, Chicano/indigenous culture, Los Angeles, and social justice movements.

Notable Achievements: Despite having dyslexia, despite constantly being told by teachers that I’d never make it, despite having a drug and alcohol addicted parent, despite being involved in gangs, despite being a father at 19, I was able to graduate from college and enter a masters program. Last December I was able to go to Guanajuato Mexico for two weeks to paint two murals for foster youth girls at the Buen Pastor Shelter with ten other LA artists. We were also able to do workshops for the girls on stenciling, photography, graphic design, drawing, and painting.


[Walk Like An Egyptian]

Why We Should Care: I am still lucky enough to be painting for myself so I really don’t care if anyone else likes my work or not. I paint what I want and what I want to see. Art has saved my life and I try to use my gifts to help others, whether it be “at risk” youth or used in social justice campaigns. My goal isn’t to impress collectors but to use my skills to uplift communities.

I Want Me Some: Visit: laughterinsurgency.com/



[Stigmata Suicide]



[Dia Del Los Muertos]



[Uva Suicide]



[Genetic Memory]

***

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