Just to quickly jump in here though....how many girls have you seen kicking the shit out of their bloke outside some pub or whatever while he just stands there? Its not a one-sided thing by any stretch of the imagination.

I wish more of these surveys would talk to men....



(and yes, I did see the bit about men in the home office quote - but I also noticed how it then put all the emphasis on women...)

[Edited on Mar 24, 2005 by JohnFM1]

I live in a spot of New York where there are literally 4 bars on every block, and I have never seen that.

like JohnFM1 said it kind of puts the men to the side like it's not as important in some way.

I was reading something in the paper the other day about a reporters views on the "one sided society we live in", the example he gave was CCTV footage of a group of woman tying up a man to a chair after taking his clothes off and then dragging him around town, covering him in alcohol and then leaving him to fend for himself. The point the reporter made was that if that had been a group of men doing that to a woman they would have all been locked up.

I knew a couple of girls that got abused though, and I think it's partly their fault because they excuse the guys behaviour and pretend it'll go away when it obviously isn't going to stop without something giving way. That's my view anyway

Maybe its a UK thing then. I've seen it a lot. There was even a programme on a few weeks back which showed CCTV of these sort of things. One of them had the woman biting a chunk out of the guys ear.

When I was in New Orleans recently I was shocked that there were hundreds of people drinking alcohol in the steets and NOT FIGHTING!!
Maybe you yanks are just more peaceful drinkers....

Maybe more "peaceful" people were drinking where you were in the States than there are where you drink here. Ask any doorman who the worst trouble are and they'll invariably tell you it's women.

As to the issue of domestic violence, it is never the victims fault. Yes, men get brushed under the carpet and there is still a much greater stigma against men reporting domestic violence so recorded figures do not show a true reflection of the problem. Where I live in London there are some couples (alcoholic drug abusers) who regularly get into it in the street, day or night, and it is always the woman knocking lumps out the bloke who only resorts to screaming at her.

People with their own political agenda get hold of these sorts of issues when it would be better to spend efforts trying to help and protect the victims.

Your right, it does happen. It haooened to me, and a lot of other guys I know. But unfortunately, people either don't want to listen, or just think it doesn't happen most of the time.

The important point about that research is not that violence happens. It's that teenage girls accept it- that is, they don't understand they have the right not to be physically assaulted by a boyfriend.

I can only speak to U.S. research, but there is quite a bit that deals with violence by women against men and how men react to it.

The problem is that the mass media is only going to print stories about "newsworthy" research. I guess many editors feel that people are more comfortable reading about women as victims than men as victims. Just like the numerous cases of men killing their partners goes unreported as dull and repetitive, whereas the isolated case of a woman castrating her husband is sensational and gets front page headlines.

I absolutely agree though that violence against men shouldn't be trivialized and also deserves attention.

[Edited on Mar 24, 2005 8:50AM]

I find these findings worrying, but not surprising. In the area I live (it's a student house-not a pretty area!!) there is a block of flats directly behind the house, and at LEAST a couple of times a week I can hear, quite clearly, a woman screaming while a man launches himself at her, hurling abuse and, quite obviously form the noises she is making, slapping/throwing things at her. It's really disturbing, and wherever I seem to go around here I see parents hurling abuse at their children, arguing with their partners and generally being violent and aggressive to one another. It's no wonder so many children grow up believing that it is genuinely 'ok' to treat someone you are supposed to care about in this way...Nor is it surprising that many girls grow up insecure and very low in confidence.

I'm not saying that woman do not treat men this way, because i'm 100% confident that there are women out there who are just as violent towards their boyfriends/husbands, as men are towards their girlfriends and wives! I just think that, whereas women will not come forward often to report abuse because they are scared of their boyfriend killing them or becoming more violent, men are usually more worried about losing their masculinity if they admit that they are being abused by a woman, and therefore I think it is less likely that a man would be willing to fill in a survey placed inside a magazine such as FHM or Maxim, asking him about such things.

I dunno about "quite a bit", recently there has been more, but it still pales in comparison with the amount of research done on female victims of DV. Remember, there are still some people that think it doesn't happen to men, while i don't believe anyone would argue it doesn't happen to women.

Shit, with the responses of some of these British dudes, I'm less than shocked by the findings.

Regardless of who's getting the shit kicked out of them it's a shame. There is no way to justify it, people are just sick.

comparing violence against women to cases where men were victims is pretty damn lame.

shall we take a guess at the ratio of abused women to men and then consider why this survey focuses on them?

No, let's not start guessing ratios. Domestic violence should be treated without sexual politics.

we're not saying that dv against woman is less important or over rated, we're saying woman abusing men is underrated, looked down on and in my opinion, there is no way that those figures are near the real number of both the woman and mens that are getting abused

i have. girls can hit(pull knives!!), yell and scream all they want without a thought of "domestic violence or violence against men". but a dude gets mad at his girlfriend(for a legit reason and doesn't hit her) hes viewed as "emotionally" abusive. but, i like how this survey didnt totally make guys out to be the "enemy". they did acknoledge the opposite.