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  • WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 18 2004 10:43 PM

Al-gebra

Submitted by seanbonner

Edited by seanbonner

At New York's Kennedy International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "X" and "Y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "there are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

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Comments
Scuderiaferrari

Scuderiaferrari

Saint Petersburg, FL
January 2004

FEB 18, 2004 10:44 PM

instant classic.

limbictides

limbictides

Richmond, VA
September 2003

FEB 18, 2004 10:55 PM

Bwahahahaha!

zac

zac

Totowa, NJ
January 2004

FEB 18, 2004 11:13 PM

to think that in some places they still alow that filth to be taught in schools.

dvsskunk

dvsskunk

Westminster, CO
December 2003

FEB 18, 2004 11:37 PM

Damn I thought ths was going to be a thread to help me with my algebra homework

wings

wings

I'm lost
November 2002

FEB 18, 2004 11:44 PM

I can help you with your algebra homework...

I be all good at math and stuff.

CriticalOverSite

criticaloversite

New Baltimore, MI
January 2004

FEB 18, 2004 11:56 PM

Makes you wonder if the governments or whatever keep an eye on the few remaining Pythagorians.

friedbanana105

friedbanana105

Antarctica
November 2003

FEB 19, 2004 12:02 AM

i read the title wrong. i thought it was a link to a photoset of Al and a zebra. surreal

desidia

desidia

Reunion
September 2002

FEB 19, 2004 12:14 AM

its funny because its true.
...and because its actually not funny and depressing, but we as a people have developed a coping mechanism of somehow finding tragedy to be humorous. skull

Bridget

Bridget

HOPEFUL

Nauru

FEB 19, 2004 12:24 AM

I had a teacher who called it "algeber."

Additionally, didn't that happen a while ago?


Al

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

FEB 19, 2004 02:05 AM

Will this ever die?

recursive

recursive

Los Angeles, CA
January 2003

FEB 19, 2004 02:22 AM

I just want to point out that he has a point. I've seen no reference to Algebra in the bible. Therefore it has no reason to be taught in our schools.

PsychicGoldfish

PsychicGoldfish

HOPEFUL

Orono, ME

FEB 19, 2004 08:44 AM

Come to think of it, my algebra teacher has the shady accent... of the enemy!

He keeps yelling about people making "calias" mistakes. There has got to be double meaning there. confused

GStrife

GStrife

Clayton, NC
January 2003

FEB 19, 2004 08:50 AM

Bwahahaha, thats great

UnnecessaryZ

unnecessaryz

Astoria, NY
July 2003

FEB 19, 2004 09:02 AM

I thought the Zingers Club Council of Comedy ruled against more than thirty punch lines in one joke back in 1968?

raoulduke71

raoulduke71

Saint Petersburg, FL
February 2004

FEB 19, 2004 09:34 AM

no no no they amended that in '72 with The No Joke Gets Old Act

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