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  • TUESDAY FEBRUARY 17 2004 10:29 PM

The Art of Writing and the SAT: Why You Should Give a Shit

Submitted by Christopher

Edited by Christopher

Taking the SAT is like being sodomized with a Dremel the size of a baseball bat. Its a grueling ordeal where you leave fantasizing about hundreds of people on a train that left Toledo at 4PM crashing headlong into a second train from Chicago. How can they make the SAT any more grueling?

Add an essay question.

In the summer of 2002 the College Board announced its plans to change the SAT. The new test will (surprise, surprise) contain several higher-level algebra questions, will no longer contain analogies questions, and will—as part of a whole new section on "writing"—include an essay question. It is scheduled to be administered for the first time in March of next year.


Now, I agree that the grand majority of us couldn't give a flying fuck about the SAT. But what is interesting is how great writers of our time would stack up against the SAT. Is this just another way of pigeonholing the writers of the future, or another example of how dense the educated elite exist in our country? I think it was Ray Bradbury once said that a person who does anything for more than 10,000 becomes an expert at doing that--his example was writing. How do we teach people to write? Is this important?

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Flux

Flux

SUICIDEGIRL

Georgia, USA

FEB 17, 2004 10:37 PM

People who rag on the SAT are the ones who didn't do well on it.

Granted, those of us who love the SAT are the ones who use its validation to reinforce our fragile psyches. biggrin

Mrs_Misha

Mrs_Misha

Los Angeles, CA
September 2003

FEB 17, 2004 10:38 PM

I did the ACT and did well, I was never offered the SAT so I don't get the big deal.

Inkpool

Inkpool

Modesto, CA
February 2004

FEB 17, 2004 10:38 PM

I hate the standard 5 paragraph essay format that our english teachers beat into us. I like writing in incomplete sentences and one word paragraphs. I don't like developing my ideas, I lay (or maybe it's "lie", who knows) it out on the table and let the reader think for him/herself.

I do not fit into the narrow box of "thesis, concrete evidence, and commentary"

[Edited on Feb 17, 2004 by Inkpool]

Jeff_Fries

Jeff_Fries

Humptulips, WA
September 2003

FEB 17, 2004 10:39 PM

No analogies? How will we use preparation for the SATs as an excuse for watching Conan?

Christopher

Christopher

Portland, OR
November 2002

FEB 17, 2004 10:41 PM

I totally rolled over on the SAT, but rocked the GRE. So I suppose Flux is right. I do hate the SAT because they did me wrong.

[Edited on Feb 17, 2004 by christopher]

SnakePlissken

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR
December 2002

FEB 17, 2004 10:45 PM

I think I did good on the ACT. I was stoked to see so many questions on the Phlogiston Theory.

Flux

Flux

SUICIDEGIRL

Georgia, USA

FEB 17, 2004 10:47 PM

I also have a nonsensical distaste for the ACT because where I am from, people who did poorly on the SAT were encouraged to take it because it was seen as easier.

[Edited on Feb 17, 2004 by Flux]

Scopitone

Scopitone

Irvine, CA
OLD SKOOL

FEB 17, 2004 10:56 PM

1420

Flux

Flux

SUICIDEGIRL

Georgia, USA

FEB 17, 2004 11:00 PM

Scopitone said:
1420



1450. tongue

And I'm still pissed at myself for not breaking 1500.

Scopitone

Scopitone

Irvine, CA
OLD SKOOL

FEB 17, 2004 11:03 PM

Flux said:

Scopitone said:
1420



1450. tongue

And I'm still pissed at myself for not breaking 1500.



I hear that. I'm studying next time.

Christopher

Christopher

Portland, OR
November 2002

FEB 17, 2004 11:04 PM

Flux said:

Scopitone said:
1420



1450. tongue

And I'm still pissed at myself for not breaking 1500.



You should take it now and see what comes up. Vindication is the best.

reprobate

reprobate

New Orleans, LA
December 2002

FEB 17, 2004 11:07 PM

The SAT is a bunch of simple concepts tarted up in complicated ways. Its a joke. More importantly its exactly the kind of joke that does not remotely lend itself to evaluating writing skill. I mean really where the fuck are they going to get ten thousand graders to work for pitifully little money who actually understand all the rules of what is an incredibly complex language with incredibly subjective and transient usage. I mean really whe was the last time you saw any one use a semi colon with "however"? Is that even a rule any more? Do we want an unemployed susbstitute teacher deciding that?

Flux

Flux

SUICIDEGIRL

Georgia, USA

FEB 17, 2004 11:10 PM

reprobate said:
The SAT is a bunch of simple concepts tarted up in complicated ways. Its a joke.



So as to, hopefully, fool the easily confused. So it is sort of like a big cosmic joke.


More importantly its exactly the kind of joke that does not remotely lend itself to evaluating writing skill. I mean really where the fuck are they going to get ten thousand graders to work for pitifully little money who actually understand all the rules of what is an incredibly complex language with incredibly subjective and transient usage. I mean really whe was the last time you saw any one use a semi colon with "however"? Is that even a rule any more? Do we want an unemployed susbstitute teacher deciding that?



Agreed. Lord knows I value writing skills like a kitten values a soft and cushy little bed, but this is not the way to go about evaluating them.

Oh, and it's still a rule; however, it is rarely used.

Scopitone

Scopitone

Irvine, CA
OLD SKOOL

FEB 17, 2004 11:13 PM

reprobate said:
The SAT is a bunch of simple concepts tarted up in complicated ways. Its a joke. More importantly its exactly the kind of joke that does not remotely lend itself to evaluating writing skill. I mean really where the fuck are they going to get ten thousand graders to work for pitifully little money who actually understand all the rules of what is an incredibly complex language with incredibly subjective and transient usage. I mean really whe was the last time you saw any one use a semi colon with "however"? Is that even a rule any more? Do we want an unemployed susbstitute teacher deciding that?



Teaching people how to take the damn thing has become an industry. The reason I'm marginally content with my score of 1420 is the fact that I never took a prepatory class.

Pssst Don't ask about semi colons around here. Some people derive pleasure from correcting people.

Rudy_Stains

Rudy_Stains

Placentia, CA
June 2003

FEB 17, 2004 11:15 PM

I was too drugged out to even take the SAT. Probably the biggest regret of my life. That and not going to see Mr. T at the mall when I had the chance.

[Edited on Feb 17, 2004 by Rudy_Stains]

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