by SG's Team Agony feat. Rin

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Rin in Voyeur]

Q: Recently I’ve been dating this girl who I thought was the girl of my dreams. She drinks, plays games, is great with kids and her family, and loves me, or I thought she did.

A couple of weeks ago we spent one of the best days together that we ever had, but since that day all those weeks ago she started ignoring me, dodging messages, and when she went on a trip out of the country she wouldn’t answer any of my text or calls.

When she returned she didn’t even tell me she was back. I asked her about what happened to us over the internet and she responded back in a tone that had no sympathy for me at all and sounded like I was dating Spock from Star Trek. I guess what I’m wondering is what should I do when I approach her about it online. We got into a fight and she told me that I wasn’t really long-term type but only short term. To tell the truth I’ve done everything to be there for her and now i have no clue what to do.

A: Well, to be perfectly frank, if she was really the girl of your dreams, she wouldn't have ditched out on you like that. My best guess is that things got too intense for her and she ran. Intensity can be so overwhelming!! Because she started avoiding you after one of your 'best days together' it seems likely to me that she got scared.

Saying you're "short term and not long term" seems like kind of a cop out on her part, but this girl doesn't sound like she has any interest in discussing her emotions or giving you any reasons. There's probably nothing you can do about that. It sucks, it's unfair to the emotional commitment that you put in, and it's not the way a caring person deserves to be treated. But sometimes that is just the way shit falls apart and there's nothing to be done.

My advice is to approach an online discussion not expecting anything.
She's shown you that she doesn't want to talk about what happened, and you can't force her to justify dropping you/giving you the cold shoulder. It's so shitty, but showing her that you care and you want to be there for her is unlikely to change her mind. This girl has already decided she doesn't want what you have to offer. She probably has issues with intimacy, long-term dating, or something similar, and she will only deal with that stuff on her own time.

The best thing you can do is pick up your heart, work on healing from this ordeal, and do things that make you happy. Work on being the best you that you can be, so that you when run into a dream girl who is the real deal, you will be ready to be an awesome partner to her.

Rin

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