by SG's Team Agony feat. Yesenia

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Yesenia Suicide in Vesuvian]

Q. I am 29-years old and engaged to the love of my life. I lost my virginity late at 25. I've had several partners since then once I gained confidence. I've always been complimented on my performance and technique, had several repeat sex partners and even MILFs. If something didn't work on them I changed it up until they were left gasping and overall giving the signals of satisfaction. The MILFs basically taught me I don't cum until they cum. I did oral, shocker, different positions etc., all with tons of positive feedback.

My problem with the love of my life is that I have this huge sex drive and she basically has none. She doesn't like oral – neither giving or receiving – rarely wants sex, and doesn't like to try anything new. When we do have sex its just missionary. If I initiate sex I'm rejected so I have to wait for her to initiate, and when she seems to get close to orgasm she locks up and tries to get me to stop because she feels like she has to pee.

I am pretty romantic and romance in the past has rewarded me with sex. However in recent times when we go out to the beach, movies, parks, malls, aquariums, etc., usually, when we get home after these wonderful outings, instead of rewarding me with sex, she goes to sleep. I guess I am asking what I can do to make her happy sexually and want me more. Any guidance would be appreciated.

A: This is a tough question because there could be things in her past that make her feel awkward or negative towards sex. There are also may be medical or emotional reasons why she may shy away from sex. I would talk to her to see if there are any deeper issues that are causing her low sex drive. Make her feel comfortable and make sure she knows you love her and that sex is not a deciding factor. Tell her you care and want to make sure she is okay.

Girls don't like to feel like a toy or tool, so make sure she feels like it's not about you getting off, but more about the emotional connection between the two of you. Talk to her about why you like to make love to her. Maybe it makes you feel closer to her. Explain that you enjoy sharing that intimate moment with her?

Make sure too that your breath smells good and that you are showered. Look at her like she is the only person in the world you are thinking about. Tell her a very specific compliment, and be sure to offer lots of non-sexual affection too. Give her a kiss on the forehead while stroking her hair to the side.

If things are fizzling (which is totally normal), find a new way to provoke her interest in you - like a new hobby. My roommates have a very healthy relationship (I am jealous of it). They are always trying new things together. Right now they are into karate (though both of them have broken pinky toes right now from it, haha). Working out increases sex drive, and getting hot and sweaty together could be fun. Or try swing or salsa dance classes, which might help you get out of a sedentary rut, and provide lots of opportunity to get your flirt on. Alternatively a challenge like rock climbing could be a good way to create a new level of trust. Also, it’s said that dates which include as aspect of fear are great for creating strong bonds.

I hope this advice helps.

Best of luck to ya darlin'!

Yesenia
xoxo


Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com