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  • FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 14 2012 1:50 PM

My Size Cannot Define Me

by M. J. Johnson


[Zoey in Envy]

“Look at that fat, lazy bitch!”
“Eat a sandwich!”
“Why don’t you go to the gym?”
“You’re too skinny to be a good role model.”
“Lard-ass!”
“Skinny Skank!”
“Lose some weight!”
“Put some meat on your bones!”
“No fatties!”
“Look out, wide load coming through!”
“Bean-pole!”
“Why don’t you do something about your weight?”



When someone is trying to prove how open minded they are about people, they will often say something along the lines of “I don’t care if they’re black, white, yellow, red, gay, straight, Muslim, Jewish, Christian, or Buddhist.” This is supposed to prove that all people are equal in their mind.

But what about a person’s body size?

We live in a sizeist society. Long past the time when it was acceptable to judge someone’s worth based on sex, gender, race, culture, religion, body mods, or ethnicity (though such judgments DO still occur), it is common and largely acceptable to judge someone based on their body type. Comedians commonly joke about Chris Christie’s weight, as if that has something to do with his terrible politics. Articles are written about Keira Knightley’s body type in which self-proclaimed beauty experts call her “dangerously thin” and encourage parents to keep their daughters from seeing her movies, lest the young girls think they need to look like her.

I am a fat man. I’m 6’2” tall and weigh somewhere around 335 lbs. I have a ring of fat around my middle, and climbing 6 flights of stairs makes me breath heavy. Based on that physical description, many people would write me off as an individual, not worth their time and effort. Any opinion of mine could be dismissed because it came from my body.

And I can hear the criticisms: “You’re smart, why don’t you exercise? Why don’t you eat right?” Well, it just so happens that I do. Until I moved to a different state, I was going to the gym 4-5 times per week, 1-2 hours at a time, where I did a cross between aerobic and weight training. My blood pressure is well within the normal range for my age, and my resting pulse is below 80.

But I am still fat. I don’t overeat any more often than a normal sized person; I average about 2500 calories per day, which is just enough to keep someone my size going. I rarely use salt, eat lots of fruit and little red meat, drink water almost exclusively (with an exception for a daily coffee, no sugar, no flavors). I avoid sodas like the plague, and cook almost all my own meals.

Maybe I’m atypical. Maybe I’m genetically predisposed to obesity. Maybe nothing I can do will ever result in me being thin. Or, maybe I just haven’t hit that perfect relation of exercise to food that will turn me into an Adonis.

The point is, nobody can tell that by looking at me. Nobody can tell whether I exercise or sit around playing video games all day. (I don’t. Can’t stand the things.) All anyone can see is that I’m a fat man, and far too many people will dismiss me as such.

This is far from a new idea. For over a century, obesity has been used as a symbol of greed, corruption, and downright evil. There is a reason Dashiell Hammett made the principle villain in his book The Maltese Falcon obese, known for the first half only as “The Fat Man.” This was the Great Depression; anyone with more than enough to eat must have been crooked. The film version came out in the 1940s, at a time when the only roles black actors could get were as servants. Funny how one type of prejudice is not acceptable today, but the other is.

“But people have no control over their race like they do their weight.”

That would be a valid argument, if it were anywhere close to reality. But the truth is, the reasons behind obesity, and why one person gets fat while another does not, are myriad. And, while an inactive lifestyle is, if not the main factor, often a large reason, it is not the only one. Medications, medical conditions, genetics, depression, sleeping habits, limited access to healthy foods or safe free exercise areas (parks, walking trails), even the weather can be factors to obesity.

Of course, us fat folks aren’t the only ones being attacked by sizeism; thin people are often stereotyped as bulimic or anorexic. Yes, those are terrible diseases, but they are not the only reason people are thin. Where an obese person can have an underactive thyroid, a thin person’s can be overactive. This can result in a metabolism that burns away huge amounts of food, faster than the person can eat. And before anyone gets their “Oh, I wish I had that problem” hat on, think about it: always being hungry, needing to eat huge amounts to keep from feeling ill or passing out, spending larger and larger amounts of money just on food.

Why does this happen? Why is sizeism an acceptable prejudice? Maybe it has some connection to the “Cult of the Perfect,” the subconscious worship of beauty. Angelina Jolie wrote a book a few years ago, about her work among the poor children of Third World countries. The message of this book is good, but the writing is pretty pedestrian, and it is far from the only book on the topic. But, because of her celebrity, built largely on her looks, the book was a best seller. It is great, or would be if people actually read the book. I fear many people just bought the book because it was by her than for actual social/cause awareness. Sally Struthers has been doing much the same work for decades, but the most common reaction to her is to make a fat joke.

The point of all this is, you simply cannot tell what is going on by looking at the outside. The basis for all prejudice is ignorance, and that applies to sizeism as well. Unless you are that person’s doctor, with a complete medical history in front of you, it is impossible for you to make any judgment about a person based on their body. And even if you do have that information, passing judgments about someone as a person based on their body-type is no different than passing judgment based on race, ethnicity, gender, sex, or any other physical attribute.

This isn’t about attractiveness; everyone has, and is allowed to have, their type. If someone is not your cup of tea, so be it. This is about making assumptions about a person, stereotyping them, based on their physical form.

And that is always wrong.

 

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CoyoteMike

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA
May 2006

SEP 23, 2012 01:23 PM

NYTimes Story on how diet, more than weight, is a determining factor in health.

Perhaps the biggest misconception is that as long as you lose weight, it doesn’t matter what you eat. But it does. Yet being thin and being healthy are not at all the same thing. Being overweight is not necessarily linked with disease or premature death. What you eat affects which diseases you may develop, regardless of whether you’re thin or fat. Some diets that may help you lose weight may be harmful to your health over time.

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

SEP 23, 2012 01:43 PM

Coyotemike said:
NYTimes Story on how diet, more than weight, is a determining factor in health.

Perhaps the biggest misconception is that as long as you lose weight, it doesn’t matter what you eat. But it does. Yet being thin and being healthy are not at all the same thing. Being overweight is not necessarily linked with disease or premature death. What you eat affects which diseases you may develop, regardless of whether you’re thin or fat. Some diets that may help you lose weight may be harmful to your health over time.



See my previous comment re: my abhorrent diet. I'm going to die skinny but I'm going to die earlier than I should.

CoyoteMike

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA
May 2006

SEP 23, 2012 01:45 PM

FreakPirate said:

Coyotemike said:
NYTimes Story on how diet, more than weight, is a determining factor in health.

Perhaps the biggest misconception is that as long as you lose weight, it doesn’t matter what you eat. But it does. Yet being thin and being healthy are not at all the same thing. Being overweight is not necessarily linked with disease or premature death. What you eat affects which diseases you may develop, regardless of whether you’re thin or fat. Some diets that may help you lose weight may be harmful to your health over time.



See my previous comment re: my abhorrent diet. I'm going to die skinny but I'm going to die earlier than I should.



You shall become poutine.

IDGAS

IDGAS

Portland, ME
March 2004

SEP 23, 2012 01:58 PM

Coyotemike said:

Onyxstorm said:
You guys can jump at me and pretend like I'm that random guy that hurt your feelings at the gym, but whatever. I don't act that way towards people.




Onyxstorm said:

You can't do jumping jacks in your living room? Walk around to random places? Watch what you eat? Find a way to get exercise?



Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you.... A Liar.


Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

I vote stupid.

Dryad

Dryad

Asheville, NC
July 2008

SEP 23, 2012 04:46 PM

Coyotemike said:

FreakPirate said:

Coyotemike said:
NYTimes Story on how diet, more than weight, is a determining factor in health.

Perhaps the biggest misconception is that as long as you lose weight, it doesn’t matter what you eat. But it does. Yet being thin and being healthy are not at all the same thing. Being overweight is not necessarily linked with disease or premature death. What you eat affects which diseases you may develop, regardless of whether you’re thin or fat. Some diets that may help you lose weight may be harmful to your health over time.



See my previous comment re: my abhorrent diet. I'm going to die skinny but I'm going to die earlier than I should.



You shall become poutine.



And then you shall be devoured by someone else, and the cycle of life continues.

CZ

CZ

San Diego, CA
July 2006

SEP 23, 2012 05:33 PM

lexxie said:
that "real women" crap drives me crazy



Totally.

The original question posed though: "if by showing curvier women as the new standard are we being unfair or discriminatory towards skinnier girls?" is kind of bullshit. We all know that the average woman is a size 14 and blah blah blah. I think the more important point is that not only are fat people discriminated against, but by the same logic, thin people have privilage.

CoyoteMike

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA
May 2006

SEP 23, 2012 06:08 PM

CZ said:

lexxie said:
that "real women" crap drives me crazy



Totally.

The original question posed though: "if by showing curvier women as the new standard are we being unfair or discriminatory towards skinnier girls?" is kind of bullshit. We all know that the average woman is a size 14 and blah blah blah. I think the more important point is that not only are fat people discriminated against, but by the same logic, thin people have privilage.



From that list, only one item, the one about finding a comfortable place to sit, is really exclusive to larger people (not just fat, but also tall. I'm both. Airplanes suck). Every other one can be applied to thin people.

CZ

CZ

San Diego, CA
July 2006

SEP 23, 2012 06:21 PM

I disagree:
-If I pick up a magazine or watch T.V. I will see bodies that look like mine that aren’t being lampooned, desexualized, or used to signify laziness, ignorance, or lack of self-control.

-I will never have to sit quietly and listen while other people talk about the ways in which they avoid being my size.

-I don’t have to worry that won’t be hired for a job that I can do because of the size of my body.


I can see that some of them could also apply to extremely thin people, and I am not arguing that it is okay to discriminate against anyone. The fact remains that we are expected to educate Onyxstorm or whoever else comes along about why fat discrimination is wrong, and that is kind of thin privilege unto itself.

CoyoteMike

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA
May 2006

SEP 23, 2012 06:30 PM

CZ said:
I disagree:
-If I pick up a magazine or watch T.V. I will see bodies that look like mine that aren’t being lampooned, desexualized, or used to signify laziness, ignorance, or lack of self-control.

-I will never have to sit quietly and listen while other people talk about the ways in which they avoid being my size.

-I don’t have to worry that won’t be hired for a job that I can do because of the size of my body.


I can see that some of them could also apply to extremely thin people, and I am not arguing that it is okay to discriminate against anyone. The fact remains that we are expected to educate Onyxstorm or whoever else comes along about why fat discrimination is wrong, and that is kind of thin privilege unto itself.



But it isn't just fat discrimination; it's sizism. It's judging people, and making assumptions about their lives, based on their bodies.

Is it not desexualizing to say a thin woman looks like a little boy, or a thin man looks like a twig? I've seen both on tv. Haven't you seen people on tv pick at thin models, calling them bad role models for little girls, saying that they're driving people to make bad choices?

Have you never heard people judge someone for being too thin, and claim they would never let that happen to themselves? I have.

And I'm sure, though I haven't seen it because I haven't been in the situation, thin people have not gotten jobs that require lifting because the person doing the hiring decided, without proof, that they would be unable to perform the tasks.

HotMetal

HotMetal

USA
July 2012

SEP 23, 2012 06:35 PM

I don't know if this considered spammy because it's my 'zine, but this article is one of the most popular articles on my site with more hits than almost all of the others, written by a model who is naturally thin.

"Eat a sandwich!"


HotMetal

HotMetal

USA
July 2012

SEP 23, 2012 06:39 PM

And then there's this brilliant girl I have the pleasure of knowing

This is My Body Project

This girl started her site at 17 years old and got a huge amount of attention. Hoping it blows wide open asap

Her facebook page now has over 17,000 likes!

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

SEP 23, 2012 06:41 PM

Coyotemike said:
But it isn't just fat discrimination; it's sizism. It's judging people, and making assumptions about their lives, based on their bodies.

Is it not desexualizing to say a thin woman looks like a little boy, or a thin man looks like a twig? I've seen both on tv. Haven't you seen people on tv pick at thin models, calling them bad role models for little girls, saying that they're driving people to make bad choices?

Have you never heard people judge someone for being too thin, and claim they would never let that happen to themselves? I have.

And I'm sure, though I haven't seen it because I haven't been in the situation, thin people have not gotten jobs that require lifting because the person doing the hiring decided, without proof, that they would be unable to perform the tasks.



All of these things (except for the model one) have happened to me. I think that society is far harsher to larger people but sizism definitely cuts both ways.

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

I'm lost
January 2006

SEP 23, 2012 07:41 PM

MissyMalice said:

lexxie said:
that "real women" crap drives me crazy



+1
I wasn't aware there was a weight requirement on being a person. whatever



+2

Coyotemike said:
But it isn't just fat discrimination; it's sizism. It's judging people, and making assumptions about their lives, based on their bodies.

Is it not desexualizing to say a thin woman looks like a little boy, or a thin man looks like a twig? I've seen both on tv. Haven't you seen people on tv pick at thin models, calling them bad role models for little girls, saying that they're driving people to make bad choices?

Have you never heard people judge someone for being too thin, and claim they would never let that happen to themselves? I have.

And I'm sure, though I haven't seen it because I haven't been in the situation, thin people have not gotten jobs that require lifting because the person doing the hiring decided, without proof, that they would be unable to perform the tasks.



+1

FreakPirate said:
I think that society is far harsher to larger people but sizism definitely cuts both ways.



+1

Temper

Temper

SUICIDEGIRL

Germany

SEP 24, 2012 06:35 AM



That was a nice attempt, but they completely ignored the main point in all of this - it's not about when it's fair to have other body types feel bad, it's about not having ANY body type made to feel bad.
It's about NOT pitting women against each other or creating stupid polls in which we are supposed to feel good or bad about ourselves depending on how many men like our body types.

Temper

Temper

SUICIDEGIRL

Germany

SEP 24, 2012 06:47 AM

Oh, and I am willing to concede it may be a warped perception, since what happens to oneself is always experienced as subjectively more than what happens to others, but I can't go out the door or post a picture (outside the safe zone of my friends list) without being the subject of the most vile scrutiny.

I have pages of hate mail and screen caps of shitty, dehumanizing comments that attack my skinny figure, lack of tits and how I'm a bad role model and solely responsible for every person with an eating disorder on the planet because I'm such a skeletal, haggard clothes hanger and unattractive and gross and should be ashamed of myself.

From my personal experience, it happens far, FAR more often than personal attacks on bigger or overweight people. It's far more socially acceptable to look a skinny person over, make a disgusted face and tell them to change their diet.

If I see pictures of curvy models, the first reaction of viewers is not to post: "Ew, gross." but "Woooh! Yay curves!".
If my pictures (or those of an equally thin girl) are circulated, infallibly it takes only as long as two or three posts (max) before someone say: "Ew, gross."

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