Ah, yes. The old "Expectations" list. Everyone seems to have one. I thought for sure, by the time I hit 30, I'd be married, maybe have a book or two on the shelves, and have some clue what I wanted to do with my life. Instead, at 34, I'm starting over. No marriage. No kids, No books (yet). I quit my go-nowhere job to try to do something I love.

Even when I was younger, I felt a bit sorry for the people who had their whole life mapped out by the time they graduated college; married by 24, first kid by 26, career ladder, affairs, ulcers, first heart attack at 40, early retirement, divorce, grandkids, second heart attack, nursing home, death. The whole thing broken up with short, disappointing vacations to Disney World, Martha's Vineyard, a cruise to celebrate the kids out of the house, and at least one weekend at a B&B to "save the marriage."

Where's the adventure? Where's the chance? Where's the unknown?

Not sure how athletics figures into a career,kids, a mini van but I was in a rut a few years ago then I bought a friends "fixie" joined a group now we ride around town.

Doing something you've never done before get's something started in the head.

Body image? Who can get past that smile and dimples.

i needed to hear this today...thank you...i have so many passions; not many means...it gets really discouraging

It's pretty crazy how much I relate to this article. Just about everything except the frat boy thing.

Thank you for a much welcome read. Like the older man at the bar (I fell out of music as well), I am now looking at you in wonder...metaphysically.

Just wait.... in my 40's and I'm still lost.

great words of wisdom

i can relate with this article. great to see someone else in the same boat as me.

Strange how many people fall into the same moods in the same time in life. 30 is just a number, I never thought anything about getting 30... until the day after my birthday. All I've done the last few years did seem like nothing. All standing still, everyone else making progress. And myself with no clue where to go.

Live goes on, worring about stuff you missed doesn't help much. If you have plans try to find a way to make them happen. If you don't have plans find a spot in life where you're confortable.

5 years later now I can't say I've changed much.But still way happier with myself than with 30. Don't drag yourself down too long. You're beatuyfull just follow your interests and dreams and have fun on the way.

You always leave me with so much to say I never know where to start. Gratitude seems fitting, but let's keep things simple. I want you to know from now on when people ask me my favourite writers or who I've been reading, I'll always tell them Laurelin.  I hope you recognise your courage and your insight. Your words reach me and are met by both a smile and a tear. They leave me hopeful and with a silent prayer of sorts for you. I pray you find your happiness Laurelin but hope you can find comfort in kind words or a stiff drink in the mean time(s).

Heh, *I* was the "guy most voted to work at Atari!" in high school. I went to computer camp, got a job offer, then the bottom fell out of the videogame market in '85.

I still ended up in computers though. My mom was in computers in the '60s and there was never any doubt about my life-path. Being a Star Trek/NASA freak didn't hurt much either.

The one thing I've always adhered to is NO KIDS. I don't like kids, and I have trouble even being responsible for a dog.

I finally reached 47 with a decent job, and I've got a house, 3 motorcycles that I really want (no car) and a 5-1/2ft tall Saturn V model that I have wanted literally since I was 8.

It cost me $250, and you might laugh, but every-fucking-time I turn the corner into the living room, it gives me a little thrill and the little voice in the back of my head goes "cool!"

I just spent $1100 on a RIPPING computer. I figure if I'm going to sit at a computer for 8-10 hours a day (I'm a s/w developer) it might as well be a DAMN GOOD ONE that won't crash, dick around or slow me down.

I'm also planning on riding from Orlando to Phoenix to visit my best friend, and a bunch of neat places along the way. I specifically bought my FJR-1300 to do things like that, even though I haven't yet. I'm really scared to do a 2200 mile trip, bike, car, or plane. Hopefully I'll get up enough courage this winter to do it.

I am even (very slowly) doing something about being a fat bastard. It's really difficult with no local friends and an 8hr job sitting in a chair, and a bad habit of "when I'm bored, I eat", but I am working at it. I am now below 275lbs.

5 years ago, I was just a fat depressed lump with no motivation or initiative, schlepping between work and sleep. Now I'm nearly FIFTY and only finally getting my act together.

Take advantage of being 20 years ahead of my game.

Its sometimes called "Saturn Return," psychologists call it Emerging Adulthood. Either way, its a pretty common thing.

I was kind of freaked out about getting close to thirty also. I'M NOWHERE NEAR WHERE I THOUGHT I'D BE, I'M NOT MARRIED, NO KIDS, STILL NOT IN THE CAREER I WANT, DAMN I NEED TO WORK ON THIS BODY, WHY ARE MOST PEOPLE I KNOW MARRIED. Once you smack the big 3 0 you get hit by a nice calm and still continue to go to bars. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're probably having more fun experiences than most of your friends that "became adults" the moment they graduated.

thank you all so much, reading these comments nearly brought tears to my almost 30 year old eyes. I can't express my gratitude for all the readers and people who choose to comment... thank you

I like to think that 30 is the new 20

I've had similar "enlightenment", and I couldn't be happier. I understand who I am and who I want to be. Even though I'm turning 30 this year, I am graduating from college with a valuable degree and a career that I love. I feel like I finally know what I want out of life, but more importantly, what I don't. I spent the better part of the last decade getting completely fucked up. Now, not so much. That isn't to say that I don't ever have fun, but it doesn't consume my life. I'd much rather work hard, and then take a trip to Europe or other part of the world and party like an adult. I don't have children, never been married, and couldn't be happier

When I was in high school (66) they asked we seniors what we were going to do by the time we were thirty. The answers are hilarious now.

You make money tending bar but you are a writer.

No doubt about it.