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  • SUNDAY JANUARY 29 2012 9:05 PM

Got Problems? Sex, Love and Relationship Advice From SuicideGirls’ Team Agony

by SG's Team Agony feat. Jaeci

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

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[Jaeci in Be My Lover]

Q: I started dating my best friend about a month after we got back to college. I've known her since last year, and I guess we've always had feelings for each other. After about two and a half months we broke up. It wasn’t supposed to be a permanent break, but she made it a break up. I don't even talk to her anymore and I can't stand seeing her. It just hurts. I tried to keep busy, and between work and school it was working, but not really anymore. I've tried talking to my other guy friends, but that doesn't help much, and I don't have many girl friends to talk to. I'm not over her. I've tried talking to her, but I can't find the words I want to say when I do. I just want to be over her and move on, but still part of me wants to be with her. It's frustrating. What do I do?

A: This kind of problem normally resolves itself with time...but not all of us are so patient. These brilliant words of wisdom are for anyone who just can't get over an ex despite a short romantic relationship.


  • 1. Find a wing (wo)man -- be selective -- and make some plans to go out somewhere you might encounter some moderately attractive people.

  • 2A. Take a shower before you go out. Don't trim/groom/shave everything perfectly though, it'll a guarantee you will not get laid.

  • 2B. Get yourself off before you go out. It will help you relax, I swear.

  • 3. Make sure you look spiffy. Wear your second favorite underwear -- wearing your hottest stuff is another guarantee no one will get in your pants.

  • 4. Let your wing (wo)man remind you that there is plenty of fine tail out there (and by fine tail, I might be referring to a super stellar (wo)man who could possibly, eventually be into you if (s)he doesn't feel negatively objectified by your sexual advances. Treat all fine tail with respect.)

  • 5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get yourself some action. Be smart and use protection -- the last thing you need is something iffy going on south of the border. Do not think about your ex while you're having sex with someone new. Do not say your ex's name. Do not cry. Do not tell new bedmate you love him/her. Do not ask for Fruity Pebbles/Tofurkey on rye/whatever your ex's favorite post-coital snack was.

  • 6. If you stay at his/her place, remember your manners. Be a gentleman -- if (s)he stays over, offer a coffee in the morning. Ladies, we can behave like gentlemen too.

  • 7. Lather, rinse, repeat.



Happy rebounding wink

Jaeci

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

 

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Comments
Sal_

Sal_

USA
October 2009

JAN 30, 2012 02:25 PM

Sooooo the advice to someone who is hurting emotionally is to go out and have meaningless sex with a total stranger? whatever

Just want to be on the same page here. confused

Acadian

Acadian

Killeen, TX
January 2012

JAN 30, 2012 05:00 PM

Not bad advice, thanks. I might try it.

zimmby70

zimmby70

Valdosta, GA
November 2011

JAN 30, 2012 09:56 PM

that has been working for me for the last 5 years...

PMVirgin

PMVirgin

Portland, OR
July 2002

JAN 31, 2012 01:09 PM

Sallen, I think all advice columns have an implied disclaimer along the lines of: The advice given is solely the opinion of the writer and are not indicative of standard results - take it with a grain of salt, your results may vary.
And she did start off by saying that time is usually necessary to heal (plus there's a winky at the end).

Lemonkid

Lemonkid

Canada
May 2003

FEB 01, 2012 12:08 AM

Time heals all wounds, but sometimes sex can be a nice painkiller. Take 2 and go to bed.

Totem

Totem

I'm lost
December 2008

FEB 01, 2012 02:39 AM

Lemonkid said:
Time heals all wounds, but sometimes sex can be a nice painkiller. Take 2 and go to bed.



Agreed.

Acadian

Acadian

Killeen, TX
January 2012

FEB 02, 2012 04:10 PM

lol y'all are awesome smile

Sal_

Sal_

USA
October 2009

FEB 02, 2012 04:37 PM

Lemonkid said:
Time heals all wounds, but sometimes sex can be a nice painkiller. Take 2 and go to bed.



Yeah but time doesn't give you herpes.

Thistle

Thistle

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

FEB 02, 2012 05:55 PM

Sallen said:

Lemonkid said:
Time heals all wounds, but sometimes sex can be a nice painkiller. Take 2 and go to bed.



Yeah but time doesn't give you herpes.



whatever

Having sex with a stranger doesn't generally give you herpes either. We've got these things called condoms nowadays.

Sal_

Sal_

USA
October 2009

FEB 02, 2012 06:16 PM

Thistle said:

Sallen said:

Lemonkid said:
Time heals all wounds, but sometimes sex can be a nice painkiller. Take 2 and go to bed.



Yeah but time doesn't give you herpes.



whatever

Having sex with a stranger doesn't generally give you herpes either. We've got these things called condoms nowadays.



That are not 100% effective and do not protect against all stds(like herpes or genital warts for example) which also do not protect the user during oral sex or if the person has been drinking and doesn't put it on right in the first place.

Assuming sex is "no big deal" and all you need is a condom to be safe is exactly the kind of attitude that helps the spread of stds in the first place. whatever

IKCSmiley

ikcsmiley

Asheville, NC
July 2003

FEB 02, 2012 06:42 PM

Sallen said:

Lemonkid said:
Time heals all wounds, but sometimes sex can be a nice painkiller. Take 2 and go to bed.



Yeah but time doesn't give you herpes.


Thistle

Thistle

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

FEB 02, 2012 08:20 PM

Sallen said:

Thistle said:

Sallen said:

Lemonkid said:
Time heals all wounds, but sometimes sex can be a nice painkiller. Take 2 and go to bed.



Yeah but time doesn't give you herpes.



whatever

Having sex with a stranger doesn't generally give you herpes either. We've got these things called condoms nowadays.



That are not 100% effective and do not protect against all stds(like herpes or genital warts for example) which also do not protect the user during oral sex or if the person has been drinking and doesn't put it on right in the first place.

Assuming sex is "no big deal" and all you need is a condom to be safe is exactly the kind of attitude that helps the spread of stds in the first place. whatever



Lots and lots of people have sex with strangers and don't ever get herpes. The equation of casual sex with herpes is nothing but uptight slut shaming and fearmongering.

Sex is in fact no big deal and it's tiresome to see people bringing up these tired tropes about it all the time. Having sex doesn't make you dirty or diseased.

Sal_

Sal_

USA
October 2009

FEB 03, 2012 02:43 AM

Yes because identifying the risks involved in casual sex is slut shaming. shocked

And in my opinion sex is a pretty big deal considering the risk factors involve diseases that cannot be cured and unplanned pregnancies.

hor

hor

I'm lost
June 2005

FEB 03, 2012 06:15 AM


Sex is not harmless. Sex is not evil. Education is nifty.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

FEB 03, 2012 06:47 AM

Sallen said:
Yes because identifying the risks involved in casual sex is slut shaming. shocked



Yeah. Those risks also occur in non "casual" sex.

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