News > Culture > The Mischievous Vegan: Vegansexuality

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THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 30 2010 12:05 AM

The Mischievous Vegan: Vegansexuality

Submitted by Malloreigh

Edited by SG_Blog

Tags: Blog, Food & Drink, Love, Relationships, Society, The Environment and Activism, Vegan, Activism, Food, Vegetarian

By Malloreigh

Dating is immeasurably frustrating. It’s not like the dating pool is huge to begin with – sure, there are lots of people out there, but we all have our tastes, our proclivities, our peculiarities. Sometimes we fall in lust with someone totally unavailable; sometimes the opposite happens; sometimes we like someone enough to date them and only find out after we’ve given away our hearts that they are fake poser liar cheating assholes. Ahem. Sorry, it’s not like I’m speaking from personal experience…

So imagine dating; imagine how difficult, how awkward, how soul-killing it is. Now, throw being a vegan into the mix. I’ve been on a few dates with people who chose to be totally offensive and disrespectful of my eating preferences. That, my friends, is a dealbreaker – so the next time you’re on a date with a vegan, don’t make any of those tacky jokes, and don’t try to feed your restricted-diet potential lover a bite of your steak at dinner – it’s just rude.

But wait, it gets better. Some vegans choose not to sleep with meat-eaters altogether. Some vegans go so far as to only sleep with other vegans. It’s a phenomenon called “vegansexuality” – and I think it’d be more common among vegans if it weren’t so damn hard to find other eligible, attractive vegans. But despite the extra effort involved – a vegan-only dating diet can be worth it in more ways than one. See, when your diet is poor – and this includes not only meat, but soda, alcohol, cigarettes – it affects your health, which in turn – pay attention! – affects the way you smell and taste. (Sometimes, it also affects your asshole factor. See above.)

[Pictured: Uva in Veggie Picnic]
(It’s fresh, it’s fruity, it’s vegan, and it tastes better.)

Have you ever heard that “vegans taste better”? It turns out that a diet high in fruits and vegetables, and low in acidic meat and animal products, promotes bodily secretions that are milder in taste. Simply put, vegans do generally taste better. We also have more sensitive palates, as a result of eating so many delicately flavored vegetables – so we will smell and taste things stronger than omnivores. If you want the science, I don’t have it. I just have my personal experience and that of many other people who have talked about it on the internet. (Taste is subjective anyway.)

It’s not just your vaginal secretions or semen than are affected. Your sweat and your saliva will smell different if you vary your diet, too. And it’s not just about taste; certainly, many vegans are put off by the thought of drinking the bodily secretions of a meat eater, but it also has to do with compatibility. To many vegans, their lifestyle choice is like a religion. It’s very, very important to them, and they can’t imagine wanting to share their life with someone whose values are so radically different.

Have you scored a date with a vegan? Even if they’re not vegansexual, you might do well to follow these tips:

Be open to their dietary choices. Ask, but don’t make fun, don’t prod, and don’t be an ass about it.

Do not suggest that they eat something non-vegan. Don’t cook non-vegan food for them. Don’t try to “tempt them” with food that they’ve chosen not to eat. It’s difficult to say no to someone you really like, even if they are rudely asking you to cross your own moral boundaries.

Maybe decide not to eat meat in front of them, especially not on the first date. Show that you can go a meal without it, and it’ll reveal your respect for them as a person.

Don’t kiss them with meat mouth, or with cheese or egg mouth either. That’s gross. In fact, why are you kissing with food in your mouth at all?

If you know you’re about to get down, drink lots of water and sweet fruits. Pineapple juice is a good idea too.

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Comments

s5

San Francisco, CA

OLD SKOOL

OCT 01, 2010 12:38 AM

Lemonkid said:
There's certain experiences I want to share with people I date, and that includes food. I prefer to be able to share these culinary experiences whether in be Berthillon ice cream in Paris or a cheese and honey dish in Spain.. I'd want someone I was dating to share in those experiences with me.

For the record, I love travel, and being vegan, I've found that searching for vegan food in other countries means going to some pretty strange, out-of-the-way places that I wouldn't have thought to look for otherwise. So it actually makes me a better traveler.

Yes, there are some experiences I miss out on. But there are some experiences that your average traveling omnivore misses out on too.

Lemonkid

Canada

May 2003

OCT 01, 2010 08:37 AM

s5 said:

Interesting point s5.

sminks

HOPEFUL

United Kingdom

OCT 03, 2010 07:52 AM

Evercunt said:
I know so many veggie/vegan straight women who date or have married omnivores. I imagine that finding a decent vegan guy is actually pretty freaking tough simply because, anecdotally, it's more common for women than men to be vegetarian or vegan.

I know you were refering to anecdotally finding guys who are veggie and vegan but...

I know about an equal amount in both genders. My boyfriend is veggie. My old boss who is also a straight male is veggie. My new boss is veggie- he's gay and taken by another male veggie.. For me I have never seen a huge difference between gender and diet. But it could be a number of factors in me finding it common and you imagining it not as common. Location, education, ethics, even how much money they have to buy food. I dunno. It's interesting though.
For me veganism isn't limited to gender as much, I find it harder to find vegan guys who are also into cooking healthy vegan options, I know too many junk food fanatics

(I feel like i wish i could insert that 'more you know" graphic)

9tail_cheshire

Swannanoa, NC

September 2010

OCT 03, 2010 08:24 AM

On the other end of the spectrum, some meat-eaters are so for dietary reasons. Myself, for example, have a very high metabolism and an allergy to soy. I'm pretty much carnivore because that's the practical option for me.

That said, I don't go for evangelical much of anything. I respect others' decision to do or not do something. I may ask why, but it's just curiosity about which of a plethora of reasons you chose: not prodding. This isn't limited just to dietary choice.

bendingunit23

Canada

April 2005

OCT 05, 2010 08:10 PM

I feel ashamed that those dating a vegan tips need to be written down.

Malloreigh

SUICIDEGIRL

British Columbia, Canada

OCT 06, 2010 11:05 AM

MrCrisp said:
Also, in the same article where you pled for carnivores to be respectful of vegans, you consistently insinuated that meat-eaters are rude, stinky people with filthy secretions. Sticking the argument that some people take their diet extremely seriously, to the point where they will reject potential partners because of their diets (regardless of any other redeeming qualities), in the middle of that doesn't help.

And if people are at the point where they're treating their diet like a religion, they may have larger problems than meat mouth.

Womp womp womp... looks like someone got a little bit defensive. I don't think I implied anything about ALL meat eaters, but I have been on multiple dates with meat eaters and have seen the spectrum. I've also slept with a few and I've seen THAT spectrum, too. I definitely disclaimed that this was my personal experience.

Also, veganism isn't just a diet. It's not just about health. It's a lifestyle - a life philosophy. Doesn't sound like a far cry from a religion to me.

Malloreigh

SUICIDEGIRL

British Columbia, Canada

OCT 06, 2010 11:07 AM

Subrosa said:

Malloriegh said:
I’ve been on a few dates with people who chose to be totally offensive and disrespectful of my eating preferences. That, my friends, is a dealbreaker – so the next time you’re on a date with a vegan, don’t make any of those tacky jokes, and don’t try to feed your restricted-diet potential lover a bite of your steak at dinner – it’s just rude.

There was this one time I was out to a friendly dinner in San Francisco with an out-of-town SG that I didn't know very well and a couple of other friends. We all met at a thai restaurant, and the aforementioned SG (who was an entirely pleasant and friendly person overall) made more than one judgmental comment about being reluctant to sit on the same side of the table as me because I'd ordered a dish that contained chicken.

Sorry dude. I've been called a jerk before. A few years have helped me tone it down.

Malloreigh

SUICIDEGIRL

British Columbia, Canada

OCT 06, 2010 11:08 AM

By the way, guys, I don't write these articles because I want to deal with personal attacks. Just so you know.

Malloreigh

SUICIDEGIRL

British Columbia, Canada

OCT 06, 2010 11:08 AM

Double post.

PointBlank

New York, NY

November 2004

OCT 06, 2010 11:21 AM

edit.

MrCrisp

I'm lost

August 2004

OCT 06, 2010 11:49 AM

Malloreigh said:

Pointing out your faulty, unsubstantiated, and hypocritical generalization is being defense? Okay.

Also, veganism isn't just a diet. It's not just about health. It's a lifestyle - a life philosophy. Doesn't sound like a far cry from a religion to me.

Now who's being defensive?