• commentary
  • MONDAY AUGUST 30 2010 1:00 AM

Hey Ladies! Here’s some douchey job advice from Summer’s Eve!

by Jay Hathaway

So, let’s say you’re a woman, and you’d like to be paid more for your job. You’re obviously not going to go in and ask for a raise unprepared, so you’ll have to get ready. What’s the first thing you should do? Review your work and compile a list of accomplishments that show how good you are at your job? Wrong. Add up all the times you’ve saved your boss’s ass? Sorry, wrong again.

Nope. You need to douche. Preferably with Summer’s Eve Feminine Wash.



At least, that’s what a new “advertorial” in Woman’s Day magazine says. It lists 8 ways to prepare on the day you ask for your raise, and making sure you smell like flowers and feel pretty is number one on the list, ahead of practical things like showing up early and being prepared.

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Even the “useful” advice is all about how others perceive you. You wouldn’t want to “let the conversation stray or get personal.” That’s always a risk with you wacky women! You’re so emotional! Ha ha!

And of course, “Today, it’s all about your worth to the company.” You might wonder why it’s not about self-worth, and the answer would probably be, “Sorry, self-worth doesn’t sell Feminine Wash. Making you insecure about how you smell does.”

Look, you’re reading SuicideGirls, so I can safely assume you don’t read Woman’s Day. You should still be concerned about this douchey job advice, though. It’s pushing a highly-corporate, really condescending standard for how girls should look and smell.

Women should absolutely ask their bosses for raises, but this ad fails to consider the possibility that a woman might actually be the boss. Maybe you’re the one handing out raises. Maybe you started your own company (I hear girls can do that now, right, Missy?). Well, I guess Summer’s Eve doesn’t want your disposable income if you’re a woman in a position of power.

So fuck you, Summer’s Eve and Woman’s Day. How about we judge people’s job performance by their accomplishments, not by the “delicate blossom” scent of their vaginas?

 

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Comments
r00kers

r00kers

Nederland, CO
February 2003

AUG 30, 2010 01:42 PM

Dude, I always sniffed the vaginas of the women working for me to determine whether or not they deserved a raise, jeez, don't they teach you kids this stuff in school anymore?

_Elichrusos

_Elichrusos

Australia
November 2004

AUG 30, 2010 10:04 PM

surreal

And of course, “Today, it’s all about your worth to the company.” You might wonder why it’s not about self-worth, and the answer would probably be, “Sorry, self-worth doesn’t sell Feminine Wash. Making you insecure about how you smell does.”

Women should absolutely ask their bosses for raises, but this ad fails to consider the possibility that a woman might actually be the boss. Maybe you’re the one handing out raises. Maybe you started your own company (I hear girls can do that now, right, Missy?). Well, I guess Summer’s Eve doesn’t want your disposable income if you’re a woman in a position of power.


You're asking for a raise. That's going to be, by definition, about your worth to the company. Self worth is more or less irrelevant to the equation, at least once you get beyond valuing yourself sufficiently to seek a raise.

And since the entire premise is that you're asking for a raise, you have a boss. Whether you are a woman boss or not is irrelevant; you have a boss. The article also failed to consider the possibility that you're self employed, or that you make your living from investments, or indeed anything that's not related to it's premise; I might as well condemn your article for not addressing my needs as someone who cares about substantive feminist issues like, say, female genital mutilation, and really couldn't give a fuck about a slightly condescending and offensive advertisement in a stupid magazine.

Even the “useful” advice is all about how others perceive you. You wouldn’t want to “let the conversation stray or get personal.” That’s always a risk with you wacky women! You’re so emotional! Ha ha!


Frankly, dealing with how others (particularly your boss) perceive us is a problem for most women I know who work in offices. Whether or not we're good at our work is irrelevant if were dismissed for looking too casual, too feminine, too butch, or if we sound too girly or flighty. Maybe you might not be as cluey into womens issues as you think, mister guy.

Sid

Sid

SUICIDEGIRL

Colorado, USA

AUG 30, 2010 10:37 PM

Seriously, why is a dude writing this article at all? I miss the old newswire, sorry.

Rory_B_Bellows

Rory_B_Bellows

Dallas, TX
April 2007

AUG 30, 2010 10:41 PM

Sid said:
Seriously, why is a dude writing this article at all? I miss the old newswire, sorry.



you and me both.

CreamyGoodness

CreamyGoodness

United Kingdom
December 2002

AUG 31, 2010 12:47 AM

If this fruit you're trying to pluck were any more low-hanging you'd have to dig it up.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

AUG 31, 2010 01:28 AM

*sigh*

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

AUG 31, 2010 03:05 AM

Wash that pussy.

LaceyK

LaceyK

Tarrytown, NY
October 2005

AUG 31, 2010 08:20 AM

Yawn

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

AUG 31, 2010 08:55 AM

It’s pushing a highly-corporate, really condescending standard for how girls should look and smell.


Girls?

Those who live in douche houses shouldn't throw stones.


Also:
"Douche Company Tries To Sell Douches: Job Advice Less Than Helpful" isn't exactly surprising.

TaoAndCoffee

TaoAndCoffee

Stoney Creek, ON
June 2007

AUG 31, 2010 10:36 AM

But what if I'm a guy wanting to ask for a raise? Where the hell is my advice????



FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Dryad

Dryad

Asheville, NC
July 2008

AUG 31, 2010 11:22 AM

Obviously the only way a woman could get a raise is if she slept with her (male) boss. So she better be damn sure she ain't got no stank, or else she could be fired.

Jensen

Jensen

SUICIDEGIRL

Texas, USA

AUG 31, 2010 11:41 AM

hehe



UPDATE: In the comments section, Summer's Eve brand manager Angela Bryant writes: "I would like to first of all apologize if this ad in anyway has offended anyone. We are taking immediate next steps to remove the ad from circulation. We want you to know that Fleet Laboratories and the Summer's Eve brand have the utmost respect for women. While we understand how some may come to an alternative conclusion regarding our recent ad, that was never our intention. Thank you."





also



douche ads are so... douchey.

Thistle

Thistle

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

AUG 31, 2010 11:50 AM

Most news websites just posted this ad and went "haha, what a stupid ad." But our own SG Newswire felt the need to hire a man to write a bunch of slightly off the mark paragraphs about this stupid ad.

EmoElmo

EmoElmo

Los Angeles, CA
January 2010

AUG 31, 2010 12:37 PM

SixBoxes said:
But what if I'm a guy wanting to ask for a raise? Where the hell is my advice????



FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-




wear assless chaps to work.

Dryad

Dryad

Asheville, NC
July 2008

AUG 31, 2010 01:55 PM

TaraDiane said:



douche ads are so... douchey.



Lysol?

*shudders*

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