News > Culture > Why Don’t You Grow Up Already, 20-Something?

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THURSDAY AUGUST 26 2010 2:06 AM

Why Don’t You Grow Up Already, 20-Something?

Submitted by chrissypedia

Edited by SG_Blog

Tags: Blog, Relationships, Society, 20-something, New York Times, self

by Christine Dinh

I’m on the brink of a quarter life crisis. (This does exist; the self-help section at my local Borders tells me so.) As my 25th birthday nears, I’m reassessing my goals and plans. I won’t deny I’m not where I thought I’d be when I walked across Alumni Park to accept my college diploma several years ago. I’m currently experiencing a second adolescence. And it’s not because I’m constantly being told I look like I’m 16.

And according to the New York Times, if you’re a 20-something, you’re experiencing it too. The article notes some key milestones that mark the “transition to adulthood”: graduating college, leaving the parental nest and buying a place of your own, financial independence, marrying and popping out some babies. However, those in my age range are taking longer to hit those milestones, if we’re working towards them at all.

[Fany in After Hours]

If you don’t want to read through all 20-something character profiles to get to the meaty facts, the good people over at Lemondrop have simplified all the data into a snazzy list. How can you tell you’re a 20-something according to the New York Times?

Permanent residence is most likely your parent’s address because you’re more likely to move every year.

You’re living through a second adolescence because we’re less likely to hit all five milestones by the time we’re 30 compared to previous generations. Not our fault of course. Let’s play the blame game with social and economic changes.

Getting that MRS degree is no longer that important because you’re already cohabitating with them or planning on it.

You’ve job-hopped, and will on average job-hop at least seven times because…

You consider all your life options still open. We’re young and have the rest of our lives to get where we want to/need to be one day so why settle? The optimism and confidence is positively nauseating.

You’re once again living under your parents’ roof. You’ve kicked the rules and the curfew to the curb, but hopefully…

You’re back on the parental payroll, baby.

You can’t help yourself; you’re reacting before you think.

You want to take a year off to travel or chase those philanthropic pursuits. I’m sure Facebook likes to rub it in your face, as it does mine, that some of your friends are out and about doing just that post-college.

You’re not the only one experiencing a quarter-life crisis. Your friends are too.

We were spoon-fed all through college that we were going to rock at life once we graduated. However, the world seems a little daunting now that the gold stars, high fives and words of encouragements are harder to come by.

You’re supposed to be who you’re supposed to be, meet who you’re supposed to meet, and try everything you want to try all during your 20s. But who can juggle climbing that corporate ladder, taking on another non-profit cause and squeezing in some playtime?

Is it possible that we’ve become too focused on personal enlightenment and personal happiness that we’ve delayed adulthood offsetting the chances we’ll even complete at least half of that list of milestones? Most likely, but hey, you know what, I’m pretty certain it’ll all work out in the end because we won’t be a bleary-eyed statistic.

Comments

Tallboy___66

Chicago, IL

December 2009

AUG 27, 2010 09:15 PM

Just party.

I mean pay your bills, go to work hopefully do something you like, make some friends and move out of the 2nd story loft above the Chinese take out place.
Why burden yourself with a Bachelors or Masters degree and have to pay it back while temping until the economy improves and you get that really great job that was supposed to be waiting for you.

And children do you think that after you're laid off or fired after your company downsizes,outsources, goes bankrupt... and you move back in to find yourself that your parents want to babysit or have a baby/child around 24/7 NO!

I "found myself" years ago and it was right where I left it.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL

February 2003

AUG 27, 2010 11:10 PM

I had a slight 1/4 life crisis.

gdarklighter

San Diego, CA

August 2005

AUG 28, 2010 01:20 AM

If you're having a quarter-life crisis at 25, you may want to double-check typical life expectancy.

RudieCantFail

I'm lost

January 2006

AUG 28, 2010 01:26 AM

If those are the markers of a quarter-life crisis, I've been having one for the last 15 years.

Dezzie

HOPEFUL

El Paso, TX

AUG 28, 2010 01:29 AM

I understand what you're saying.
Still, it's different for me. My mom never attended college, so me doing so was a major milestone to me.
My mom had three kids by the time she was my age, so NOT doing so was a major milestone to me as well.

I think it is well within our power as individuals to decide our own milestones. If they aren't the milestones of the previous generation, so what? The world is a lot different now, there is so much more that we can accomplish as individuals.

I think you're doing just fine, as long as your doing what you want to do.

You should be your only obligation.

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA

March 2004

AUG 28, 2010 03:57 PM

So, the essence of the quarter-life crisis is that you're not on track for a mid-life crisis?

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA

May 2006

AUG 28, 2010 05:11 PM

I plan to fully enjoy my midlife crisis in about 15 year or so. I'll FINALLY get to date a 20 year old

ReAct

Boston, MA

October 2009

AUG 28, 2010 06:49 PM

I briefly heard something about this on NPR recently. Apparently psychologists are even debating whether this is actually a legitimate "phase" in life that needs to be recognized and accepted.

In a world that is becoming saturated with ever-more-common and ever-more-expensive college degrees, in a country where credit is a way of life, it's not hard to see how some of this occurred. Many of the people I know who ended up moving back home did so simply because of their financial burden. The piece of paper they got when they graduated simply isn't proving to be worth the money they spent to get it.

The only part that bothers me about legitimizing this "second adolescence" is how much it encourages reliance on the past generation. I'm more than happy to ignore 4 of the 5 milestones, but I do not think it's unreasonable for people to be financially independent in their 20's. And I would worry about any acceleration of that trend.

I always pause when I hear people comparing the new generation to those past, because so much of it turns into empty complaints about "Kids these days!" Is this generation different than the last? Of course, but the world is different. Not five generations ago horses were the primary mode of transportation, many people had only a few years of any formal education, and women were still bearing an average of five kids expected to contribute on the family farm.

With that in mind, I'm not yet too concerned that my confederates are having children a couple years later than their parents.

-ReAct
"Why, when I was your age...!"

Dunn3rd

Phoenix, AZ

February 2007

AUG 30, 2010 10:44 PM

Funny... I was just thinking of something similar..