Author of the immensely popular Weetzie Bat, among many other magical novels, Francesca Lia Block has shared a special advanced excerpt from her upcoming mythological dating guide "Wood Nymph Seeks Centaur" in which she explains the inspiration for this unique guide to the world of relationships.



So I started dating, mostly on the Internet. Where else these days? It was the first time in my life I had really dated. I had been married for seven years, and before that had only a few long term relationships. All my past relationships had been chance encounters or introductions through friends but these approaches felt too limited or random now. The Internet seemed to offer a world of possibilities.

But, before I knew it, I had been thrown into a dark thicket and lost my way. I was in a foreign, twisty, tangled forest without a map or a guidebook to help me to understand all the new creatures that surrounded me. Which one was best suited for me? Who were they? For that matter, who was I, really? I was a loving single mother of two young children, a published writer, a loyal friend, a shoe fetishist, a part-time yogi, wild dancer and love obsessive. Andow I was also a dater. But what kind? And what kind of male dater should I be looking for as my potential mate?

At first I tried to answer these questions by jumping into emotional and sexual relationships with too many people, and much too soon. I knew I needed some guidance, but what kind?

When I was a little girl my father told me Greek myths as bedtime stories and my mother read fairy tales aloud. I loved to draw mythological creatures—fairies, mermaids, fauns chasing nymphs. As an adult I wrote about them in my novels and short stories. Myths and fairy tales are a part of me, a part of how I think about the world. Why had I cut myself off from them when it came to such an important part of my emotional life—dating? They had provided me with so much sustenance through the years (emotional and actual—writing about them is how I make my living. So why not draw on them now, when I really needed them?

So I began to look at all my past relationships in this context. My ex-boyfriend was a Satyr. The ex before that was a Faun. I had had coffee with Giants. I had never become close to a Centaur. I had never even met a Woodsman, but for the first time I thought I might, because I was at last able to see and define him for what he was.

As for myself? I thought about it for awhile and determined that I was a Wood Nymph.

I recalled all the failed relationships I had, and when I looked at them through the lens of mythology, they no longer seemed so devastating. I felt seen, if only by myself. I felt a sense of order. Of course the Satyr left me. Of course I couldn’t stay with a Faun. I was a Wood Nymph! It was like trying to date the wrong astrological sign. You might be able to triumph over fate in certain cases, but the odds are against you, so if you fail you needn’t be discouraged. Just move on.

My restless writer’s mind, that likes to make sense out of everything, felt instant relief from this exercise. I did it more and more. I could go into a room and classify almost everyone immediately. My friends of all ages, genders and mythological types joined me, categorizing themselves and their dates, challenging me (“So-and-so doesn’t fit into any of your categories. You need a new one.”) and adding their wonderful insights.

This mythological dating guide is the first and only mythological classification system to help all those experiencing the highs and lows of seeking a mate, or just a date. It’s a way to discover more about yourself and others. It’s a way of looking at others that is as old as the forests, lakes and hills from which the initial types originated. After all, if the fairy tales are what we are looking for in our real lives why aren’t we turning to them for guidance? If you want a Satyr in your life, you have to learn to recognize him. You may not even realize that you need a Tess and not a Pixie. This book will help you sort through the different types, and will give you help in dealing with them. Once you see your Satyr, how do you avoid the heartbreak that he has a tendency to visit upon you? What is the best way for the Urban Elf couple to spend their time? What’s a Centaur like in bed, and can he ever be happy with a Brownie, or is he more sexually compatible with a Fairy? It may be a forest out there, but with this guide, I promise, you’ll find that there are some friendly creatures around to support you and help you find your way. You just have to be able to spot them. And that may help them see you, too, which is what we’re all looking for.


Francesca Lia Block is a bestselling author of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry for all ages—from the groundbreaking Weetzie Bat young adult series to a collection of magic-realist erotica. Her numerous awards include the Margaret A. Edwards lifetime achievement award, and her work has been published around the world. Born in Los Angeles, she lives there still with her two children.

Excerpt appears courtesy Bloomsbury USA from “Wood Nymph Meets Centaur” available September 29, 2009.