Twitter update 1 hour ago.

I wonder if any of my "followers" (does anyone find the term followers as creepy as I do?) will now check out Joe's Pizza in Santa Monica (and their almost to the tee thin crust NY style pizza). It's as close as you're going to get to such holy NYC Pizza institutions as Grimaldi's or Patsy's or Lombardi's or even Joe's NY location here on the West Coast. The mozzarella is fresh and the sauce is San Marzano sweet. I ate a whole fresh mozzarella pie the other night and four more slices cold the next day. Followers, I will not steer you wrong.

I've been reading about Joe's for a while now and have wanted to make the journey to Santa Monica but couldn't bring myself to get my lazy ass down there for pizza. How L.A. of me! Joe's is maybe six miles from my house but the idea of going to this strange exotic land known as Santa Monica is crazy! Do you need a passport to go there? Plus if I really want pizza I can just go to Mozza (different style, but still great pizza). Lucky for Santa Monica (and me) I started working at a studio there on the new Anthrax record and I'm right in the middle of all these heretofore mythical places that I could only dare to dream of visiting.

Joe's is one. The Counter is another. God damn I like The Counter. I like the whole process of going online to print a menu, building the burger, faxing it in, and then being rewarded with a sandwich. A really yummy sandwich whether it be beef, turkey, chicken or veggie. I've had them all, on buns and in bowls, with cranberries or old-school, I'm a burger building maniac. They claim there are 312,120+ combinations to be had so if I round up to 313,000 and eat there twice a day, I can try every combination in 428.7 years. Lucky for me I plan on being a vampire at some point (a vampire that eats burgers) so I'll be able to do this no worries. According to The Counter's website they are opening new franchises everywhere. I hope they aren't going to become the Starbuck's of burgers because I've got the next 428 years already planned out.

Last Tuesday was St. Patricks day so I did what every other black-blooded American did and found a place to drink Guinness. It's no secret that I'm a big fan of the black stuff. There was a group of us celebrating my lady Pearl signing her record deal and we wanted a place to go on St.Patrick's day that wouldn't be a sea of jerk-off frat boys and green puke. We ended up at the Chateau Marmont, which for my money is the best place in L.A. -- to stay or drink -- although it's usually filled with a whole different kind of douche.
The vibe of the room trumps the Hollywood douchebaggery for me though. Actually, sometimes the Hollywood idiocy adds to the occasion, like the time I threatened to take Lindsay Lohan's drinks after she got served after hours and I didn't. Wait, was I the idiot?? That's another story for another time.

The Chateau was slammed and the food took forever but it was all good as the Guinness kept coming. When my spaghetti bolognese showed up it was great. The pasta was cooked perfectly and the sauce had a perfect meat to sauce ratio and a slight kick (heat) on the end. I rolled (literally) out of there around 1:45 am, having gotten stuck with the bill as people kept showing up and leaving all night. Guinness makes me nice about that kind of stuff.

If you've got an occasion coming up, make a reservation at the Chateau for dinner. It's the sexiest place in town.

OK, back to work.

Cheers,

Scott

PS. I am having Joe's Pizza for dinner tonight.


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Scott Ian is SuicideGirls' monthly Food Coma columnist. Click HERE for more of his musing on sustenance and libations. He plays guitar for revolutionary metal band Anthrax and also for Pearl.