Miss Truth Hurts: Advice That Rocks by Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna
Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.
Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to email: misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.
Q: Why do I always get into fights with my family around the holidays? I hate going back home sometimes and someone always ends up in tears. My family just doesn't get me. I'm the only one with funky hair, tattoos, and piercings and it's not like I expect my family to be like me, but I feel like they are so different and don't get me and maybe that is the reason we always get into fights. Ugh! I hate the holidays!
– Fearing Family in Fort Worth
A: USA Today recently published some statistics that stated, "Nearly 80% of adults say they had a holiday gathering ruined by a relative." The newspaper polled a bunch of people and they figured out that the top five reasons for family fighting during the festive days of December and January are these: rude behavior, children/parenting issues, alcohol influence, lifestyle differences, and other in laws. My point being - you are not alone.
Everyone has issues around the holidays. Don't beat yourself up over your past holiday problems. But, try to flip the script this time around. Keep those top 5 reasons in mind and try to nip it in the bud when one of those five is about to rear its ugly head.
If you're feeling angry, stop yourself before saying something rude. If you're drinking, stop yourself before you're a belligerent drunk who might say something you can't take back. Avoid talking about parenting philosophies, politics, religion, or sex. If you're lifestyle is different than your family, try not to make it an issue. Maybe you don't need to show off that new tattoo to Aunt Ethel who is horrified at the sight of inked skin. Don't tell Grandma about your new piercing. Never start a sentence with, "Well, we here in Texas don't do it that way." Never say, "You people just don't get it." Keep the snarky comments about your conservative brother's reindeer sweater to yourself, don't tell your pregnant sister how breeding just overpopulates the world, and wipe the smirk off your face when your church-going cousin insists on saying grace.
Just suck it up, ignore the differences, and get in the freakin' holiday spirit.
Q: My boyfriend gives me crappy gifts every Christmas and I feel like shit even saying that, but it's true. Is it a bad idea to just tell him what I want for Christmas? I don't want to sound materialistic or anything, but I'm sick of getting upset over the dumb stuffed animal he gets me or the necklace he thinks is nice but really isn't and then I have to wear it. How do I tell him what I really want?
– Unsatisfied in Utah
A: When you really think about your issues with presents, if you dig deep, what you're really upset about might be that you feel like your boyfriend doesn't really understand you or cares enough to figure out what you like. Right? So, forgo the actual gifts this year and instead ask him if he'd be into writing you a Christmas letter. And, you do the same. It's a great way to save money too and to get some romance going in the relationships. I did that with my husband one year and it was the best gift I ever got. Well, that and the $1,000 Christian Louboutin red-soled black patent leather pointy toe 6-inch pumps he got me for my birthday, but I digress... Anyway, try the letter thing and you might end up with the most romantic, thoughtful gift a girl could ever hope for and be the envy of all your friends.
Q: I pig out during the holidays and always gain about 10 lbs between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. I've already gained a few pounds after Thanksgiving and I don't want to gain more over the next holidays and I know I will. Got any good diet, exercise or will power tips?
– Piggy in Pennsylvania
A: There's time between now and Christmas dinner to lose those few Thanksgiving pounds, so get to work, girl! Hit the gym, drink tons of water, eat veggies, lean meats, and skip the heavy starches, sauces, creams, and desserts for a few weeks. But, once those holiday parties and dinners roll around and you're tempted by trays of Christmas bookies, candy canes, chocolate Santas, figgy pudding, and other sugary delights the holidays have to offer, it'll be hard to just say no. So, don't! Take one cookie, one spoonful of pudding, one bit of the chocolate Santa. Don't eat the whole thing, but don't deprive yourself completely or you'll go insane.
A few other tips — scrape those marshmallows off grandma's yams and eat the yam part only. Dribble on the gravy instead of pouring it on. Keep drinking that water. As yummy as it sounds, don't have the eggnog in your coffee instead of cream. Go for healthy appetite-curbing green tea with a little natural honey to satisfy that sweet tooth in the morning or late at night. As for exercise, have tons of sex, dance at the holiday parties you go to, go for a run, and my motto when I'm feeling bloated — Drop and give yourself 20!
Q: My boyfriend wants to go to all the coolest things with his BFF instead of with me. He took him to see our favorite band. He's doing a boy's night out for New Year's Eve with the best friend and is going skiing with his friends over the holiday break. Should I take this personally that he doesn't include me or am I being too sensitive? I feel like he should spend at least SOME special occasions with me and not his friends.
– Dissed in Decatur, Ill.
A: Maybe he's into boys and not girls. Dump him! He's clearly not that into you. Sorry!
Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.
www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com
web address: http://suicidegirls.com/news/culture/23462/Miss-Truth-Hurts-Advice-That-Rocks-by-Carrie-Borzillo-Vrenna-/