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- MONDAY SEPTEMBER 22 2008 6:00 AM
Brad Warner's Hardcore Zen: The Enlightened Beings Club
Submitted by Brad_Warner
Edited by nicole_powers
Back in March I wrote an article for this website in which I criticized one of the many scams out there masquerading as Buddhist practice. Last week my publishers found and pointed me to this massively delayed reaction to what I wrote. (My thanks to Waylon of Elephant magazine for writing the piece.)
I find this fascinating on so many levels its hard to know where to begin. For starters I thought the videos by Genpo Roshi and Ken Wilber were hilarious. The Ken Wilber thing is especially priceless. With production values like a bad mid-morning chat show, Wilbers sycophantic fawning over enlightened being Genpo with its fetid overtones of delighted self congratulation after all, who but a fellow enlightened being could recognize one of his own the Ken Wilber piece reminded me of one of those Sammy Maudlin sketches from SCTV. How do you say, "Isn't Genpo just about the most wonderful thing youve ever seen? He's such a deeply, deeply decent human being, which is harder than being enlightened, by the way" with a straight face?
Is this what Eastern spirituality has been reduced to in these latter days pricey instant enlightenment schemes (Big Mind will cost you $150 a session) and sub par Las Vegas revue nonsense? Heres my video response:
I count myself lucky that I came across Zen practice at a time when nobody wanted to know. In the early Eighties anything that smacked of "wisdom of the East" was relegated by the masses to the realm of played out hippy bullshit. Now its back and bigger than ever. But, as usual, the mainstream ignores real practice in favor of glittering garbage. The current interest in Buddhism is good news for me since I got a book deal out of it and a free subscription to Suicide Girls. But as a minor part of the medias current fascination with all things mystical and Eastern, I often find myself placed not among fellow practitioners of the Buddhist way but among a crowd of media created spiritual superstars of dubious merit. As such Ive found it necessary to keep putting out reminders that I really dont have a clue what most of these whack-jobs are saying. Its got to be difficult for serious people getting into Buddhism these days to weed the good stuff out from the charlatans in pretty robes. Good luck!
So how can someone recognize real Buddhism from the scams? Before I address that Ill repeat what I said in that article back in March. The scam artists out there calling themselves Buddhist teachers are the exception, not the rule. Most folks in this business are not out to cheat or brainwash anyone. So in most cases its just a matter of finding a teacher whose style suits you. Although I should add that my own current teachers style did not suit me at all when I first started seeing him. Yet I saw the truth in what he said and did, so I stayed with him as much as it went against my personal tastes and preferences.
Also, Ill say that the claim by Genpos spokesman that it violates the Buddhist precepts for me to call Genpo on his bullshit doesnt hold water. Yes there is a Buddhist precept that says not to criticize Buddhist monks and laypeople. But this is being abused by scamsters who think that calling any old nonsense Buddhism relieves them of worries that their peers might openly disapprove of it. Sadly there seems to be great reluctance among Buddhists in general to speak out when Buddhism is slandered this way for fear of being accused of breaking the rules.
The scams are so see-through it always amazes me that anyone goes for them at all. But then again people really do send money to anonymous Nigerian bankers who contact them by random e-mails when they think itll net them millions of dollars without working for it. The spiritual scams work exactly the same way. They promise something for nothing and guarantee quick results. But spiritual practice is like learning to play a musical instrument. Youre going to suck the first time you pick up a guitar. Even Eddie Van Halen and Jimi Hendrix had to go through their suck-y period. It doesnt work any other way and no technological advance will ever change that.
The Dharma does evolve in the sense that it adapts itself to different cultures and different times. But the essential process does not change because it cannot change. You cant bend your leg around the back of your head after your very first Yoga class and you cant get enlightened before lunch time.
When Ken and Genpo claim you can realize your true nature in a couple of hours and then flash on it any time you please theyre just conning you so they can pay for better set decorations. Its a fact that your true nature is present at every moment, that its the basis of your very existence. But the conditioning weve all laid over top of that is very heavy and cannot be resolved quickly. The language of Buddhism can be corrupted just as easily as anything else. Just because someone uses words like true nature, realization and mindfulness (Ugh! How I hate that word!) means nothing at all when the so-called true nature they point to is some dreamy, blissful state to be found in the far off reaches of the cosmic void.
Theres nothing to flash on anyway. Enlightenment isnt some experience you have and then file away with all the other cool shit youve done in your life like the memory of a three-way with your sisters best friend and your analyst. Enlightenment is a full time job. You cant get through the layers of bullshit youve swallowed from society in mere minutes anymore than you can take off the pounds put on by a lifetime of Big Macs and Frosties after a quick jog around the block following which you reward yourself with another Big Mac. This stuff takes work and anyone who tells you it doesnt is lying.
The good news is that you can get through a million plus years of human conditioning in a decade or so, which is really not so bad when you put it that way. Plus real meditative practice has beneficial effects as soon as you begin. Try some yourself. Heres Suicide Girl LizaRose showing you how!
Brad Warner's Hardcore Zen column appears monthly on SuicideGirls.com. Click HERE for more posts. Brad is the author of Hardcore Zen and Sit Down and Shut Up!. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff and a MySpace page too. If you're in Southern California and you want to try some Zazen for yourself, he has a group that meets every Saturday in Santa Monica.
As Brad says in the video, you can order a copy of the new CD by his band Zero Defex (aka 0DFx) from CD Baby. Get yours now!




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