Jesus and Buddha were best friends in high school. There was that one time that Jesus almost got beaten up for being a skinny Jew and then Buddha got all, "no way". Then that bully was all like, "I'm gonna beat him." From that day on Jesus and Buddha walked home from school together and talked about hot chicks that they would do.

Jeezh... don't you know your theology.

The act of suicide cannot simply be stamped with a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down'. Facts may be black and white, but circumstances are extremely complex compositions of many, many truths, and 'suicide' is not an atomic act. My grandfather committed suicide when I was 12. We had a special relationship; he constantly tested my intelligence and maturity, and treated me according to my ability. He introduced me (unforgivingly) to the game of chess, the 4pm tea ritual, the beauty of silence, and though I didn't know it at the time, had taught me that life was an art, a science, a responsibility, and a challenge.

It was painful, but I don't think it would have been any more so had he waited for his cancer to get the better of him. There was a point at which he didn't have any meaningful relationship with the rest of the world. Overall, there was a general sense of understanding among the family, and I don't look back with resentment or wish that he had done things differently. If living can be considered an art, there is a point during the production of any masterpiece at which the artist has to know when to quit.

It's a little different when someone turns their depression or malaise into a deeper hell with drugs or irresponsibility and ends their life as an alternative to facing the mess they've made and cleaning up after themselves, or maybe as an alternative to compounding the problems for everyone else around them.

I don't consider it a matter of control. Suicide is a act of hopelessness, and the simple reality is that at some point, there is no hope left. Really. But it's not when you're sad about your addiction or your checkbook. More often, it's after you've squeezed 80 years out of your life, and can't control your bowels or sleep more than 10 minutes at a time on account of nerve malfunction. If you're going to question reality, sometimes you have to be willing to accept an answer.

A person's resolve to the idea of hopelessness measured against the reality of potential is a measure of their worth, and it's a painful experience when someone perceives no hope as a result of the end of a relationship, financial ruin, or a self inflicted hell of drugs and depression. I think that this is the real lament of those close to those who take their own life.

looking at this from a universal perspective...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

what made this whale *decide* to beach itself?

these don't happen as isolated events all the time, sometimes the beach is covered in creatures, and the best explanation for it is "their sonar must have been messed up".

but we are all creatures of chemistry.

death results of a reaction, perhaps an overreaction to something. a miscalculation, a misjudgment. perhaps death is part of the plan, but death does not come just for wanting, there is an action that brings it. i think that's something that is just a part of the flow of nature as it is against its usual flow.

statistically,
"90% of all people who die by suicide have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder at the time of their death"

and of course in the united states, we have a tendency to put a label on those with disorders.

let's say whales and humans have things in common. we are, afterall evolved mammals and one could go so far to say majestic creatures.

should we say that whales do this because they are crazy?
or that people do it because they miscalculate where they are and where their limits lie?

I was just listening to Material Issue a couple days ago. I thought to myself, "Damn, I wish he hadn't killed himself. I love this music and I never got to see them live."

i applaud your optimism and empathetic direction and more than respect your way of putting it to words. i must, however, respectfully disagree.

the fact that most organized religions predict eternal damnation as a result of suicide tells me it's most likely a logical and viable option for a free-thinking person to have on a list of possible answers to life's problems.

i've always thought of it as an ultimate form of self expression. the final act of rebellion. the last and most profound brush stroke, note or stanza.

it's interesting to me how those left behind invariably cry about their own pain of loss whilst ignoring the obviously deep pain of the dearly departed; as if somehow the departed becomes less important than the aggrieved simply by being absent among the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

every (wo)man is an island. when we are brought low by the machinations of the judas collective, it's no wonder we sometimes turn to a very personal, lonely answer to the pain of living. it's a solitary choice to make and only each individual's right to make it.

This is a pretty good piece. I like your writing style. The humor use, even with a grim topic is nice. Look forward to more of your work.

p.s. I hope your friend feels better

Very good article. My best guy friend who lived with my family for a couple of years killed himself Aug. 31st 07. The Friday before Labor Day he shot himself in the head. He wasn't found until an hour after around 3pm in the middle of the day. He was still alive and rushed to the hospital only for us to find out he was brain dead and passing at 10:44pm. He was bipolar, but I really never saw it coming. He told me that he considered it in the past when he was living with me, and all I said was "Fuck you dude, I would have found you." I really never thought more about it.

Anyhow, suicide destroys people. My life changed that day and will never be the same. Plus the chances of a "survivor of suicide" committing suicide themselves is very great. I have come seconds away from going to my friends grave and taking every prescribed medication I could get my hands on. Its so hard. I am doing better now though.

I have learned that people are VERY insecure about the topic, and there are a lot of people who believe that it is a "selfish" act, or the "pussy way out", which yes, i see this, but if your gonna say that to me then i hope you can run fast. People do not sympathize for people who have lost a loved one by suicide like they do for other types of death. The more people are educated about the topic the better. Like 99.9% of people who commit suicide have some type of mental illness.

Anyways, that is my rant for the day. THANKS EVERYONE WHO IS WILLING TO ACTUALLY DISCUSS THIS!!!!!!

RIP Anthony Duffie

Doofy Love - about the loss of a best friend

In Buddhism, Hell is entirely self-created. As is every other state of consciousness. It's what makes the sad world for the sad person, the happy world for the happy person, and a totally paranoid world for believers in a vengeful god

This is a very good article. Im sure people who feel that they are suffering, this is their only way to make it end. I completely agree about the ripple. It does affect everyone in the persons life, but they are so despondent, they dont see this. It's sad no matter what.

My ex-husband when I left him tried to commit suicide. Something he said he was against. But my leaving flipped him out so much, he felt it was the only way to get me to come back to him. He swallowed a ton of muscle relaxers, went wandering around, but eventually called for help, because somewhere inside him he knew better. I was not expecting him to do that and was very close to going back, but thankfully I didnt, because the threat of him trying to pull another stunt like that would always be there, and thats no way to live either.

It's a tragedy to commit suicide, one that I almost contributed to myself before I was on effective medications to treat my bi-polar. As for whether or not it's some kind of victimless crime, I admit to being very conflicted. With proper care and treatment it's totally unnecessary--I will say that.

Had I killed myself I would have literally destroyed my family, particularly my mother and sisters. Hardly anyone lives in a vacuum where their decisions do not directly affect other people and this is why I always encourage people who are suicidal to seek help and reconsider before they make an attempt. Though they themselves may not believe it at the time, their best years are ahead of them and there is much unfinished business left.