Scott Ian's Food Coma: Costa Rica

I’ve been home in LA for two weeks in the last two and a half months. My Tivo is obese with "Lost", "Battlestar Galactica", "Top Chef", "The Office", "30 Rock", "Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares" (the BBC one, the American one sucks) and "Poker After Dark". I’m home for two weeks and it’s time to play catch up. I did see Iron Man and I liked it.

SPOILER ALERT! Don’t read the next paragraph if you haven’t seen the movie.

I thought it was weird that Jeff Bridges' character could instantly operate and control his Iron Man suit considering how much of a learning curve Tony Stark had to go through and Stark is a genius. I guess I should just shut-up and suspend my disbelief. It was a kick-ass movie and, on a food related note, the Arclight has the best popcorn in town.

My Costa Rica trip was an amazing journey filled with monkeys, crabs, quad-bikes, big waves, gambling, Imperial (La Cerveza de Costa Rica), and, of course, food.

We were staying in a house in the jungle, just a minute walk to the beach in a town called Santa Teresa. It’s one dirt road with a few markets, a couple of boutique hotels and some killer restaurants. No resorts, no tourists. You get everywhere on quad-bikes. It was absolutely beautiful. It was paradise and I can see why so many Americans/Canadians/Brits live there (more on this later). It’s a place you don’t ever want to leave. I didn’t expect much in the way of culinary fabulousness in such a laid back place. Boy was I surprised. We ate at a restaurant called Soma in the Milarepa Hotel and it was on par with the top places here in LA or in NY. The chef was a kid from California with some serious skills. His braised octopus was as good as what you get at Osteria Mozza (and for 1/4 of the price) and the sea bass tasted like it was just caught because it was. I have to mention my man Garin’s Swedish-style pancakes as well. He would make them every morning for breakfast at the house and I’ve been craving them ever since. My lady Pearl went over the top with a white wine sangria made with fresh mango, fresh passion fruit (the passion fruits they have there are four times the size of the ones we get and once again, so much cheaper), pears and apples that was perfect in the jungle heat and it fucked you up. Yay. The monkeys would watch us from the trees and I can only think that they think we are retarded. No wonder they end up taking over.

*Monkey sidebar: Howler monkeys sound like Randy from Lamb Of God crossed with a zombie. The first time I heard one in the jungle at night it scared the shit out of me. The next morning they woke me up at 6AM by throwing mangoes on the roof. They were right outside my room and they’re big fuckers. Bigger than a large pit-bull and way nastier. I quietly stepped outside to film them; about four feet away and they just gave me serious stink-eye. I told them I didn’t want their mangoes but that didn’t help. I could feel the aggression build They must’ve known that I had seen Planet Of The Apes and that I was on to them. One of them started to come at me and I fucking jumped back into my room faster than I have ever moved in my life. I continued to film from the safety of my room as they sat right outside and stared at me knowingly, mocking my fear and playing with their weird wieners. Fascinating.

I had a dish in San Jose at a restaurant called The Park Café that was mind-blowing. On the menu, the appetizer was described as scrambled eggs with smoked salmon. What came out were two eggshells with the tops cut off and the scrambled eggs put back inside with a small piece of smoked salmon covering the holes in the tops. The best eggs I have ever had in my life. We came back to this restaurant again and I had two orders of them.

I did partake in a lot of grilled meats and Gallo Pinto (rice and beans), as well. The locals know how to eat.

Costa Rica was amazing. Their motto is Pura Vida and that loosely translates into, really fucking live your life. I can see myself spending more and more time there over the next few years and if McCain wins in November, you’ll be able to reach me in the 506 area code.

Cheers,
Scott

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Scott Ian plays guitar for revolutionary metal band Anthrax and also for Pearl.

Artwork credit: Shepard Fairey