BLOG VIEW  |  HEADLINE VIEW
SUBMIT NEWS  |  RSS FEED  |  SEARCH

War Protesters Invoke Lucifer for Help

SUNDAY MAY 11 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by TheCoolerKing. Edited By erin_broadley.

War protests (or protests of any kind) are a tricky thing. The majority of the time they seems like a waste to me. Accomplishing little but delaying people who have nothing to do with your cause. I mean, sure, "awareness" is nice and I'm not saying they're entirely useless but it seems like there are better ways to change something.

The only time it seems totally stupid is when, as is often the case in Los Angeles, the group involved is having trouble breaking a double digit turnout. A good rule of thumb is, if you don't have enough people to throw a successful dinner party, you don't have enough people to change the world. I'm talking to you seven dummies holding filthy, bent-up signs on Vine and Sunset.

It seems
Code Pink are headed in this direction, and anxious to turn things around.

The women's anti-war group has told ralliers to come equipped with spells and pointy hats Friday for "witches, crones and sirens" day, the last of the group's weeklong homage to Mother's Day


Ahh... nothing says take me seriously regarding this serious issue like dressing up as a fictional character. Hats, check. Spells, um, what?

And what does a siren costume involve? Protesting from an alley, half a mile away, and then disappearing when the target comes over to investigate? At which point, they get trapped under a dumpster?

"Women are coming to cast spells and do rituals and to impart wisdom to figure out how we're going to end war," Zanne Sam Joi of Bay Area Code Pink told FOXNews.com.


Thinking a protest at this late hour will end the war, or thinking magic spells work, what's the more ridiculous assumption here?

It's close, but I'm going with "believing in magic."

The group frequently announces bizarre theme weeks in front of the office, but their numbers have been dwindling and the events get little media attention.

Now, after three months of continual protest, their actions barely capture the attention of even the Marines at the recruiting center.

Capt. John Paul Wheatcroft said he's unfazed by Code Pink's antics.

"They're always in pink and wear funny things, half-shaved heads, one side with hair and the other one bald, yeah, I'm pretty much used to anything," he told FOXNews.com.


Not to get sidetracked but, a half-shaved head and some hair dye means you're "used to anything"? How does that differentiate someone from any other protest group... or group... or person?

Back to the point.

A few women stood outside the recruiting center Friday with signs that read "Peace" and "Warmongers — Eating Our Children for Profit." Many wore pink T-shirts.


Part of me wishes they'd left out the quotes and the sign read: "Peace and Warmongers — Eating Our Children for Profit."

Members of the pro-troops group Move Forward America came armed with packages of salt, which they spread around the recruiting station to keep the Marines safe from spells. The group's Web site implored members to bring brooms to "mock the anti-American witches of Code Pink."


I see, so, you're crazy, too? Fantastic! Of course, yes, bring salt, that should do the trick. I mean, come on EVERYONE KNOWS HEMLOCK AND WOLFSBANE ARE THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP YOU SAFE FROM SPELLS! Duh.

Sigh... yes, the world's lamest wizard's duel has just transpired. Lamer than David Blaine and Chris Angel slap-fighting each other in a half-full kiddie pool.

What could you possibly add to make this an even bigger clusterfuck?

Code Pink isn't the only group that has seen numbers drop amid rallying around the Marine recruiting center.

Kimberly Wagner, Berkeley College Republicans activism chair, who is dating a Marine, said her group has been trying to keep up a presence outside the center since Feb. 13, when Code Pink's parking permit went into effect.


College Republicans!

The college Republicans are fighting to acquire the same parking permits that Code Pink has. A resolution to grant the group an equal permit will be entered and voted upon in the May 20 council meeting


Yeah well, space is limited and brooms take up way less space than cars, stupid. Plus, it's much more environmentally sound. Any environmentalist will tell you, a flying broom is like five times better than a Prius.

And why not end things on an ironic note.

ut if events this week are an attempt by anti-war protesters to remarket their cause, the Marine recruiters in Berkeley tell FOXNews.com that Code Pink's presence outside their office has helped — not hindered — their mission.

"Ironically, it's actually helped us by putting our name out. We're now well-known. And people know who we are, and where we are, and they come in to talk to us about enlisting. They've gotten us the publicity that we could've never afforded to pay for ourselves," Wheatcroft told FOXNews.com.

"Just in the last three weeks, 10 people came in looking to apply, looking to become Marine officers, and that's much higher than normal," he said.


Maybe magic does work...




TheCoolerKing will take a strong length off steel and solid armor over magic any day...

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2

Next

Ascanius

Ascanius

South Royalton, VT
October 2006

MAY 11, 2008 08:29 PM

we3_pirate said:


Members of the pro-troops group Move Forward America came armed with packages of salt, which they spread around the recruiting station to keep the Marines safe from spells. The group's Web site implored members to bring brooms to "mock the anti-American witches of Code Pink."



Why not just ride in on unicorns and slay the protester's with +5 Broadswords? That would be sooooo much cooler.



Because dude, do you know how hard +5 broadswords are to find?

Skywisdom

Skywisdom

Portland, OR
December 2005

MAY 12, 2008 02:18 PM

Ascanius said:

we3_pirate said:


Members of the pro-troops group Move Forward America came armed with packages of salt, which they spread around the recruiting station to keep the Marines safe from spells. The group's Web site implored members to bring brooms to "mock the anti-American witches of Code Pink."



Why not just ride in on unicorns and slay the protester's with +5 Broadswords? That would be sooooo much cooler.



Because dude, do you know how hard +5 broadswords are to find?



Come on. Broadsword? What the fuck is that? Do you mean a Long Sword or a Greatsword? Or maybe an Elven Warblade?
Besides, if they have magic I'd rather go for a Mage Bane sword. It's only a +1 modifier, and would actually hit for more than a +5 weapon...

Wow. So that's why I never get any...
Thank god I can post anything on this thread and Code Pink will still make me look like less of a nerd.

we3_pirate

we3_pirate

I'm lost
July 2007

MAY 12, 2008 05:30 PM

Skywisdom said:

Ascanius said:

we3_pirate said:


Members of the pro-troops group Move Forward America came armed with packages of salt, which they spread around the recruiting station to keep the Marines safe from spells. The group's Web site implored members to bring brooms to "mock the anti-American witches of Code Pink."



Why not just ride in on unicorns and slay the protester's with +5 Broadswords? That would be sooooo much cooler.



Because dude, do you know how hard +5 broadswords are to find?



Come on. Broadsword? What the fuck is that? Do you mean a Long Sword or a Greatsword? Or maybe an Elven Warblade?
Besides, if they have magic I'd rather go for a Mage Bane sword. It's only a +1 modifier, and would actually hit for more than a +5 weapon...

Wow. So that's why I never get any...
Thank god I can post anything on this thread and Code Pink will still make me look like less of a nerd.



Careful, they might banish you.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 12, 2008 05:36 PM

banish is only effective against demon and elemental mobs. they'd have to sheep him.

IDGAS

IDGAS

Jackson Heights, NY
March 2004

MAY 12, 2008 05:42 PM

The war protests are fools if they think they will get any help from

we3_pirate

we3_pirate

I'm lost
July 2007

MAY 12, 2008 05:46 PM



banish is only effective against demon and elemental mobs. they'd have to sheep him.



My RPG skills are nil.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 12, 2008 09:45 PM

i've got a racial bonus to RPG skills.

Skywisdom

Skywisdom

Portland, OR
December 2005

MAY 13, 2008 01:38 PM

motorfirebox said:
banish is only effective against demon and elemental mobs. they'd have to sheep him.



lavenir

lavenir

Turlock, CA
June 2007

MAY 14, 2008 05:17 PM

Narghile said:

coyotemike said:
You're gonna get Wiccans protesting that they don't have anything to do with Lucifer . . . just warning tongue

Otherwise, quite amusing.



Indeed. Dear writer,
Witch != devil worshipper.

Sincerely,
Someone who knows what they are talking about, esq.

So, what you're saying is that Wiccans worship a figure from the Judeo-Christian tradition? Of course, it's customary of many Westerners to reduce those things that they don't understand or seem ridiculous to them as being "evil" or "of the devil." Yeah, I don't believe in Wicca, or Lucifer for that matter, but I can think hard enough to keep my mythologies separate.

scylis

scylis

Anchorage, AK
November 2004

MAY 14, 2008 07:48 PM

Skywisdom said:

motorfirebox said:
banish is only effective against demon and elemental mobs. they'd have to sheep him.





you go into the room. you find a trap and you die.

TheCoolerKing said:
TheCoolerKing will take a strong length off steel and solid armor over magic any day...



you say that now, but wait until you get past about, oh, 12th level. mages and clerics own fighters and pretty much everybody else. i can somewhat deal; i've got Sneak Attack and Evasion.

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

MAY 15, 2008 12:06 AM

scylis said:

Skywisdom said:

motorfirebox said:
banish is only effective against demon and elemental mobs. they'd have to sheep him.





you go into the room. you find a trap and you die.

TheCoolerKing said:
TheCoolerKing will take a strong length off steel and solid armor over magic any day...



you say that now, but wait until you get past about, oh, 12th level. mages and clerics own fighters and pretty much everybody else. i can somewhat deal; i've got Sneak Attack and Evasion.


I don't know... Last I checked, Conan had a pretty good win/loss record against those spell-slinging sissies...

Fuck Thoth-Amon and all his kind.

Though ideally, I'd have the kind of "length of steel" that fires pieces of lead.

scylis

scylis

Anchorage, AK
November 2004

MAY 15, 2008 12:31 AM

TheCoolerKing said:

scylis said:

Skywisdom said:

motorfirebox said:
banish is only effective against demon and elemental mobs. they'd have to sheep him.





you go into the room. you find a trap and you die.

TheCoolerKing said:
TheCoolerKing will take a strong length off steel and solid armor over magic any day...



you say that now, but wait until you get past about, oh, 12th level. mages and clerics own fighters and pretty much everybody else. i can somewhat deal; i've got Sneak Attack and Evasion.


I don't know... Last I checked, Conan had a pretty good win/loss record against those spell-slinging sissies...

Fuck Thoth-Amon and all his kind.

Though ideally, I'd have the kind of "length of steel" that fires pieces of lead.



those, sadly, only do 2d8 damage, and crit x2 is all. a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level wizard does 10d6 in a 20 ft. radius out to 800 ft. away.

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

Baton Rouge, LA
January 2006

MAY 15, 2008 12:42 AM

scylis said:

TheCoolerKing said:

scylis said:

Skywisdom said:

motorfirebox said:
banish is only effective against demon and elemental mobs. they'd have to sheep him.





you go into the room. you find a trap and you die.

TheCoolerKing said:
TheCoolerKing will take a strong length off steel and solid armor over magic any day...



you say that now, but wait until you get past about, oh, 12th level. mages and clerics own fighters and pretty much everybody else. i can somewhat deal; i've got Sneak Attack and Evasion.


I don't know... Last I checked, Conan had a pretty good win/loss record against those spell-slinging sissies...

Fuck Thoth-Amon and all his kind.

Though ideally, I'd have the kind of "length of steel" that fires pieces of lead.



those, sadly, only do 2d8 damage, and crit x2 is all. a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level wizard does 10d6 in a 20 ft. radius out to 800 ft. away.



Pfft... In Heroes Unlimited, I had a character with Alter Physical Structure: Fire, who would just go super-nova and nuke the fucking place. tongue

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2

Next

PreviousNext

Barack "Blunder" Obama

Comments 153 Comments - Last Comment 3 days ago

OMG APOCALYPSE 2012!!

Comments 113 Comments - Last Comment 1 day ago

Right Wing WALL-E Meltdown

Comments 86 Comments - Last Comment 2 days ago

SuicideGirls Big in Japan

Comments 80 Comments - Last Comment 4 days ago

Filthy Rich Socialism

Last Comment 37 MIN by coyotemike

Filthy Rich Socialism

Last Comment 37 MIN

I think they are semi-government agencies . . . sort of. More ...

Jimmy Fucking Carter

Last Comment 2 HR

Green crude production. Uses algae. Does not use farmland. Does not use agricultural crops. Can be refined,... More ...

Life Is Ugly So Why Not Kill Yourself*

Last Comment 6 HR

looking at this from a universal perspective... *spoilers* More ...

Comic Con 2008

Last Comment 12 HR by crispy

Comic Con 2008

Last Comment 12 HR

That's awesome! Congratulations and good luck, Gerry! More ...

Scott Ian's Food Coma: Getcha’ Pull!

Last Comment 7/23/08

nice! the part of the story i left out is that i wound up having 8 pints just to prove his perceptions... More ...

SuicideGirls Interview: David Lynch
SuicideGirls Interview: Dita Von Teese author of The Art of the Teese
SuicideGirls Interview: Queens of the Stone Age: An Interview With Troy Van Leeuwen