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  • SUNDAY MAY 11 2008 6:00 AM

War Protesters Invoke Lucifer for Help

War protests (or protests of any kind) are a tricky thing. The majority of the time they seems like a waste to me. Accomplishing little but delaying people who have nothing to do with your cause. I mean, sure, "awareness" is nice and I'm not saying they're entirely useless but it seems like there are better ways to change something.

The only time it seems totally stupid is when, as is often the case in Los Angeles, the group involved is having trouble breaking a double digit turnout. A good rule of thumb is, if you don't have enough people to throw a successful dinner party, you don't have enough people to change the world. I'm talking to you seven dummies holding filthy, bent-up signs on Vine and Sunset.

It seems
Code Pink are headed in this direction, and anxious to turn things around.

The women's anti-war group has told ralliers to come equipped with spells and pointy hats Friday for "witches, crones and sirens" day, the last of the group's weeklong homage to Mother's Day


Ahh... nothing says take me seriously regarding this serious issue like dressing up as a fictional character. Hats, check. Spells, um, what?

And what does a siren costume involve? Protesting from an alley, half a mile away, and then disappearing when the target comes over to investigate? At which point, they get trapped under a dumpster?

"Women are coming to cast spells and do rituals and to impart wisdom to figure out how we're going to end war," Zanne Sam Joi of Bay Area Code Pink told FOXNews.com.


Thinking a protest at this late hour will end the war, or thinking magic spells work, what's the more ridiculous assumption here?

It's close, but I'm going with "believing in magic."

The group frequently announces bizarre theme weeks in front of the office, but their numbers have been dwindling and the events get little media attention.

Now, after three months of continual protest, their actions barely capture the attention of even the Marines at the recruiting center.

Capt. John Paul Wheatcroft said he's unfazed by Code Pink's antics.

"They're always in pink and wear funny things, half-shaved heads, one side with hair and the other one bald, yeah, I'm pretty much used to anything," he told FOXNews.com.


Not to get sidetracked but, a half-shaved head and some hair dye means you're "used to anything"? How does that differentiate someone from any other protest group... or group... or person?

Back to the point.

A few women stood outside the recruiting center Friday with signs that read "Peace" and "Warmongers — Eating Our Children for Profit." Many wore pink T-shirts.


Part of me wishes they'd left out the quotes and the sign read: "Peace and Warmongers — Eating Our Children for Profit."

Members of the pro-troops group Move Forward America came armed with packages of salt, which they spread around the recruiting station to keep the Marines safe from spells. The group's Web site implored members to bring brooms to "mock the anti-American witches of Code Pink."


I see, so, you're crazy, too? Fantastic! Of course, yes, bring salt, that should do the trick. I mean, come on EVERYONE KNOWS HEMLOCK AND WOLFSBANE ARE THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP YOU SAFE FROM SPELLS! Duh.

Sigh... yes, the world's lamest wizard's duel has just transpired. Lamer than David Blaine and Chris Angel slap-fighting each other in a half-full kiddie pool.

What could you possibly add to make this an even bigger clusterfuck?

Code Pink isn't the only group that has seen numbers drop amid rallying around the Marine recruiting center.

Kimberly Wagner, Berkeley College Republicans activism chair, who is dating a Marine, said her group has been trying to keep up a presence outside the center since Feb. 13, when Code Pink's parking permit went into effect.


College Republicans!

The college Republicans are fighting to acquire the same parking permits that Code Pink has. A resolution to grant the group an equal permit will be entered and voted upon in the May 20 council meeting


Yeah well, space is limited and brooms take up way less space than cars, stupid. Plus, it's much more environmentally sound. Any environmentalist will tell you, a flying broom is like five times better than a Prius.

And why not end things on an ironic note.

ut if events this week are an attempt by anti-war protesters to remarket their cause, the Marine recruiters in Berkeley tell FOXNews.com that Code Pink's presence outside their office has helped — not hindered — their mission.

"Ironically, it's actually helped us by putting our name out. We're now well-known. And people know who we are, and where we are, and they come in to talk to us about enlisting. They've gotten us the publicity that we could've never afforded to pay for ourselves," Wheatcroft told FOXNews.com.

"Just in the last three weeks, 10 people came in looking to apply, looking to become Marine officers, and that's much higher than normal," he said.


Maybe magic does work...




TheCoolerKing will take a strong length off steel and solid armor over magic any day...

 

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Comments
CoyoteMike

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA
May 2006

MAY 11, 2008 06:35 AM

You're gonna get Wiccans protesting that they don't have anything to do with Lucifer . . . just warning tongue

Otherwise, quite amusing.

Varuka_Salt

Varuka_Salt

I'm lost
October 2006

MAY 11, 2008 06:39 AM

Scary part is you KNOW there are people on both sides that actually believe this shit is REAL.

Devolution?

Vykos1579

Vykos1579

Higganum, CT
April 2008

MAY 11, 2008 07:23 AM

I'm thinking I need to start up a protest group that protests protesters. I'll call it " Get out of my way I'm late for work".

CoyoteMike

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA
May 2006

MAY 11, 2008 07:25 AM

Vykos1579 said:
I'm thinking I need to start up a protest group that protests protesters. I'll call it " Get out of my way I'm late for work".



I shall protest your protests!

BrisusCheez

BrisusCheez

HOPEFUL

Wexford, PA

MAY 11, 2008 07:35 AM

Not to get sidetracked but, a half-shaved head and some hair dye means you're "used to anything"? How does that differentiate someone from any other protest group... or group... or person?

I agree with this statement! I cannot tell you how often I get stopped when walking around around my downtown area and people ask me if I'm a part of Code Pink because I'm wearing pink or have pink hair. I'm a girl, my skin color picks up reds and pinks well, and I like the color. The end. I just think it's a weird, new form or stereotyping has emerged for anyone who looks differently. Nothing against people who want to join the group, I'm just not involved!

whatever

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

MAY 11, 2008 07:49 AM

coyotemike said:
You're gonna get Wiccans protesting that they don't have anything to do with Lucifer . . . just warning tongue

Otherwise, quite amusing.



Indeed. Dear writer,
Witch != devil worshipper.

Sincerely,
Someone who knows what they are talking about, esq.

gdarklighter

gdarklighter

San Diego, CA
August 2005

MAY 11, 2008 09:02 AM

TheCoolerKing said:
College Republicans!


Okay, now I know you're making shit up.

defaultx

defaultx

I'm lost
February 2006

MAY 11, 2008 09:32 AM

If somehow i could bring my lvl 245 war mage.

triplegold

triplegold

Burbank, CA
August 2005

MAY 11, 2008 11:42 AM

dang I wanted to see that pink tank frown

SirLoins

sirloins

Huntington Beach, CA
October 2005

MAY 11, 2008 01:41 PM

Gotta hit em up top



Winter Soldier on the Hill

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

MAY 11, 2008 03:36 PM

SirLoins said:
Gotta hit em up top



Winter Soldier on the Hill



I applaud.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 11, 2008 04:30 PM

i'm going to have to consult with the dark spirits in order to cure the stabbing head pains brought on by witnessing unfiltered stupidity. oh great and powerful rum, i beseech thee...

wereduck

wereduck

I'm lost
July 2007

MAY 11, 2008 07:42 PM



Members of the pro-troops group Move Forward America came armed with packages of salt, which they spread around the recruiting station to keep the Marines safe from spells. The group's Web site implored members to bring brooms to "mock the anti-American witches of Code Pink."



Why not just ride in on unicorns and slay the protester's with +5 Broadswords? That would be sooooo much cooler.

JekyllAndHyde

JekyllAndHyde

Austin, TX
April 2005

MAY 11, 2008 08:22 PM

I've been trying to find the scene from South Park where a bunch of protestors can't agree on what day to organize a march, then eventually lose track of what they're protesting on which day, but I've utterly failed, so just pretend I posted the video.

CoyoteMike

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA
May 2006

MAY 11, 2008 08:23 PM

JekyllAndHyde said:
I've been trying to find the scene from South Park where a bunch of protestors can't agree on what day to organize a march, then eventually lose track of what they're protesting on which day, but I've utterly failed, so just pretend I posted the video.



I shall pretend to laugh.

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