You'd tell Fractal to get rid of her cat?
That's probably what Nixon did here.

hahahaha!

well, really, why would she care what a boy tells her to do anyway?

I'd go with "Good, soon, or easy. Pick two." You can get someone good and soon if you work yr ass off at it. You can get someone good and easily but it might take a long time. And you can get someone now and it'd be easy, but they ain't going to be any good. The latter is, I think, the OP's problem.

Good article. Refreshingly honest.

For starters you might want to stop getting embarrasingly drunk. A good drinking buddy doesn't necessarilly mean they'll be a good regular buddy or anything more than that. I know that legions of binge drinkers will give me shit for saying that, but it's true. That's the double edge of alcohol: yes, it can help you loosen up and have a good time, but it can also allow you to dupe yourself into thinking you're having a great time and that you're in great company when you really, really aren't.


A big +1 to anyone who suggested you get rid of the jars of dead things. If you're still into dead things, take some taxidermy classes or something.

One last thing, remember: you are incredibly hot, and that is not only very intimidating, but it can also be more than enough to convince some guys that you already have a boyfriend, so they don't bother talking to you. Yeah, I know it's a weak line of reasoning, but some of us guys just can't help ourselves. Sorry.

EDIT: Oh and for crying out loud, avoid guys with lame nicknames like that. Seriously. If it's not a stage name for a band he's in, drop him like a bad habit.

I <3 this article. Most of it rings all too true to me and for me when it comes to being alone and wondering about there being someone out there for you. I'm farily certain I have come to the conclusion I'm going to be alone all my life and have a pet cat at the end of my days. I will wind up dying in said apartment and my body will be found 2 weeks after my death, partially eaten by my cat since I couldn't feed it ><

That doesn't have to be you though. Like many people have said, you are gorgeous and that does intimidate most men. We do figure you have a BF, or that there is no way in hell you'd give us the time of day because we are beneath your time to notice us.

Personally, I have found being alone better than going into fuck up after fuck up. Just taking things slow and getting to know people before trying to connect past anything other than friendship.

The good guy does exist, they are just a rare breed is all.

This was writen like there is still hope.
Keep the jars of dead things (as long as they don't stink) do whatever, whenever, however you like. Avoid only those who have their phone number on a bathroom wall. If he likes you go for it, just stay in well lit public places.
Really though, if your not being yourself, how can anyone fall in love with you?

Lighten up, Francis!

NIce article; I like your writing.

I can totally relate to this:

I've found, however, that when I meet someone with the same affliction as me, I get along better with them than with more well-filtered conversationalists. I would probably enjoy hearing all about your cat, and dead things in jars, in great detail. Then you'd have to hear all about my cats!

There's been quite a lot of "nice guy" bashing in the comments to this article, and I don't like it. I'll take the front row in bashing guys who act all nice and polite until they get you into a relationship, and then shit all over you, but there are plenty of guys out there who are genuinely thoughtful and kind. And we're not all pussies, either.

We might not act all Alpha and bad-boy, but we do stand up for ourselves. We just try to be a little more polite and tactful about it. We have our own needs and desires, but we're flexible enough and man enough to care about your needs and desires, too. We'll do our best to meet yours, but we won't let ourselves become doormats. And if you treat us well, you might think we're always giving in to your preferences, but in reality, we're making a conscious decision each and every time about whether our preferences are in opposition to or in agreement with yours. If most of the time we do what you want, it means we actually think you have good ideas, not that we're being your doormat.

So we're definitely out there, in fact several of your "close male friends" may very well be us. And I'll bet that at least one or two of those "buddies" would be more than happy to help you end your singledom.

Great article, I look forward to reading more from you.

Most girls seem to find nice boring, or assume its compensation for some inaquacy.
my nice guy attitude grew out of being the undatably fat during high school so when i became decently attractive the nice guy thing sort of stuck. Most girls hate it though, i get laughed at pretty often, taken advantage of and abused pretty frequently. it seems like most girls want so see how much i can take. I am quite sure i could have saved a few relationships if i had stood up for myself a bit more.

Nice guys are exciting in a different way than the bad boys are, and the bad ones are probably more immidiately attractive because their attitudes brodact more loudly.

I cant help but wonder if most girls arent used to being treated all that well, so when they do meet nice guys, they assume me must be pathetic or desperate. (I must admit the feeding a girl on the first date thing seems a little weird to me as well though.)

perhaps this is all in preparation for the day when the bitchen cool broads will inherit the earth.
we are in this together. let us continue to oscillate (drunkenly) forward, through the fleeting feelings of love, the temporary infatuations with the male sex, and those moments of touching the "bathing suit areas" of irresistible badboys .

beautiful sicilian witch, our day is coming. the paradigm shift where all will be love. fullfilled. no longer fatalistic. an orgy of feminine juju.

'till then, fucken cheers, salute, cin cin, and grazie, amico.

I think everyone needs to really evaluate what they truly want, at their core, and admit it.

Some people want to be together, some people want to be alone, some people want to look like their trying, when they'd really rather run away.

Me? I've always wanted a valkyrie. A straight-talking, chain smoking girl who can chuckle.

That's all. I'm pretty simple, for someone so complex.

"I don't get the dating game, the motives, the rules, or the language. "

the motive, rules and language seeem to vary depending on whop you are dating, maybe the trick to the game is is to find out our partners personal motives, rules and there language before its too late!

Some other guy, up there somewhere had a good idea though, the best way for anyone to increase the quality of the people they date is to work on yourself first. and get rid of all those bad habits that you dont like. The better you are, the better people you will atract, without even trying,