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  • SUNDAY JANUARY 20 2008 4:00 AM

Shit Happens

Submitted by crispy

Edited by crispy

Tags: odd news, shit, neighbor, laundry, ew!

Anyone who has ever lived in an apartment building and had to share the laundry facilities knows the frustration of having people leave their clothes in the washer or dryer long after the machine has finished.

If you're like me, you move the wet clothes into an open dryer, or the dry clothes onto the top of the dryer.

If you're like Ronnie Ballard of Madison, Wisconsin, you take a shit in the washer.

Every so often, apartment residents at 6769 Schroeder Road would find human feces in their laundry if they left it untended in a basement laundry room.


Wait ... it gets better.

Two people also reported finding feces in their shoes and boots in an apartment hallway.


Ballard was arrested after a woman whose "laundry had been soiled" chased him back to his apartment and called the police.

In what must have been a very strange court appearance, Ballard was given a little friendly advice.

He appeared in court Thursday, where Dane County Court Commissioner Todd Meurer, saying words he never thought he'd say, ordered Ballard to only defecate in toilets.


What a novel idea.

Just so you can get an even better visual: According to the documents posted on The Smoking Gun, this guy is 6'4" and weighs 345 lbs.



The complaint, a copy of which you'll find below, quotes one resident's reaction when she discovered the ruined sneakers: "He shit in someone's Reebok." The document adds that Felicia Walton, owner of the sneakers, "had not given anyone permission to defecate in her shoes and she was disturbed."


I'd be disturbed, too.

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Comments
Bastardo

Bastardo

Boston, MA
January 2005

JAN 20, 2008 06:42 AM

If I was the publisher of a major newspaper, this would be the headline every single day.

Munke

Munke

Penngrove, CA
May 2004

JAN 20, 2008 09:18 AM

Someone should tape a Packer's jersey to this guy!

unfiltrator

unfiltrator

San Francisco, CA
April 2004

JAN 20, 2008 09:31 AM

I think he must have lived in Evanston around 2001-2003. A top loader in my condo building got bombed once.

ohash

ohash

Columbus, OH
May 2007

JAN 20, 2008 09:33 AM

I am just curious about the mechanics of that. Did he just perch himself on top of the washer with a magazine? Did he bring toilet paper? I can't even poo outside of my own house, let alone in a public laundry facility in a washing machine.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

JAN 20, 2008 09:43 AM

Borderline sociopath with overly comfortable bowels: A disgusting combination!

CherryCoke

CherryCoke

Derry, NH
May 2007

JAN 20, 2008 10:11 AM

I wonder if the man ever realized that this would only make the laundry have to stay in the washing machine longer.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JAN 20, 2008 10:22 AM

wildswan said:
Borderline sociopath with overly comfortable bowels: A disgusting combination!


You are correct.

crispy

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JAN 20, 2008 10:28 AM

[edit]
I moved my "extra content" into the article itself.

Why I didn't just do that last night?
I have no idea.
[/edit]

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

JAN 20, 2008 10:33 AM

crispy said:

ohash said:
I am just curious about the mechanics of that. Did he just perch himself on top of the washer with a magazine? Did he bring toilet paper? I can't even poo outside of my own house, let alone in a public laundry facility in a washing machine.


Just so you can get an even better visual: From the documents posted on The Smoking Gun, this guy is 6'4" and weighs 345 lbs.



The complaint, a copy of which you'll find below, quotes one resident's reaction when she discovered the ruined sneakers: "He shit in someone's Reebok." The document adds that Felicia Walton, owner of the sneakers, "had not given anyone permission to defecate in her shoes and she was disturbed."


I'd be disturbed, too.



A bear got loose in the city. A bespectacled, ill-mannered, hairless bear.

This is another great argument for habitat conservation.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JAN 20, 2008 10:42 AM

I have not given anyone permission to shit in my shoes, and I am disturbed.

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

JAN 20, 2008 10:50 AM

i couldn't count on my fingers the number of times i wanted to do this in the barracks. ruh oh.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

JAN 20, 2008 11:00 AM

Zarth said:
I have not given anyone permission to shit in my shoes, and I am disturbed.



I gave someone permission last week, but I require permission to be granted for each additional incident.

Ask permission next time, dammit! That's all I ask.


Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JAN 20, 2008 11:09 AM

wildswan said:

Zarth said:
I have not given anyone permission to shit in my shoes, and I am disturbed.


I gave someone permission last week, but I require permission to be granted for each additional incident.

Ask permission next time, dammit! That's all I ask.


You can't do anything for fun anymore, somebody has to tell you you're not Bob Dylan.

Ellyshia

Ellyshia

HOPEFUL

USA

JAN 20, 2008 12:07 PM

lol damn...that is some messed up shit (no pun intended).


but I do sort of wish he made a candid appearance in my dorm laundry room sometimes to deter the assholes who live down the hall from leaving their laundry in the washer/dryer for days...jerks. lol

plasticfangs

plasticfangs

Portland, OR
OLD SKOOL

JAN 20, 2008 01:12 PM

Yeah, that's gross.


That being said - I have often wanted to do something similarly heinous to the assholes in my apartment complex. Because they leave laundry in the machines, AND on top of the machines. For DAYS.

Assholes.


But I still wouldn't crap in the slippers. That's just uncivil.

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