Just in time for Christmas, a stocking stuffer everyone can disagree on.

Hmmm, now why does this seem not okay? I mean, I'm all for warning kids about the dangers of rampant pedophilia. And, I also think that children should get to own and enjoy coloring books.

I think, no -- I'm absolutely certain -- the combining of the two is where they lose me. This isn't exactly your classic, "you got your peanut butter in my chocolate" moment.

I picture two guys typing away on laptops in a cafe.

"What are you working on?"

"Ah just trying to come up with a hook for my new coloring book. You?"

"Well, I'm trying to figure out a way to warn kids about pedophiles."

Their eyes meet, look away, then look back... a glimmer! Then, "You don't think!?" "Could we?" "Why not!?" (slow-motion high five)

Color him inappropriate.

Q: What's more off-putting than a crudely rendered drawing of a priestly pedophile?

A: Why, that same drawing now adorned with the nervous, jagged crayon scrawls of a frightened child. I'm picturing red for the face, with wild slashes zig-zagging in and out of the lines and a big black sun shining over everything!

Wait, how safe are these angels? Have they been vetted? Let's keep an eye on the man-sized creature with gossamer wings, juuuust to be on the safe side.

David, I have to say, we disagree on this one.

"Mommy! Why won't you put my coloring on the fridgerator!"

"Well, honey, it was meant to be more of a warning, or learning tool than-"

"But, you made me color it."

"I... I know."

"You made me color in that awful man!" Whatever happened to a talk? You coulda just said something, wouldn't that've been better? A brochure, even? Anything???"

"Fine, I'll put it up. Now run along, Mommy wants to talk to your angel friend." (Angel stands, slowly closes bedroom door, leaves kid alone in hallway.)

Does anyone want to see that? Angels hooking up with our mothers? No.

I'm all for stopping this problem but there's gotta be at least 50 ideas better than insisting kids "help make a molesty book." I'm not even ruling out a priest-killing video game where children hunt them using deadly versions of their toys.




TheCoolerKing urges you to run out to your local comic shop to grab a copy of the incredible first issue of The Infinite Horizon, written by SG's own Gerry_D. Featuring the art of Phil Noto. Click the link for a free preview!