Scott Ian's Food Coma: Don’t Fuck With the Sommelier

End of the year “Top Ten” lists are a little less annoying than New Years resolutions. I get at least eight (8!!!) requests for these mind-bending treatises every November. I’m very popular and my opinion is very important. Suck it.

Actually, people know I like to espouse my views on this kind of stuff and I am a listy (anal) kind of guy.

When I put my mind to it this year I was pleasantly surprised to see that I actually could come up with ten things. Ten records that made me want to get stabby!

Then I thought, hey, this is a food column. Should I write about my top ten meals of the year? Who the hell can remember that?? My Grappa soaked brain will not comply. Actually I think I can remember a few so maybe that will be part of the next column.

This time I decided I’d do a pairing like restaurants will do with food and wine. I like when the sommelier pairs wine with your meal. Unless you are a sommelier, the sommelier knows better than you no matter what you think your fancy palate says. I’ve met sommeliers whose tongues can blindly tell you the patch of dirt your grape came from. Don’t fuck with the sommelier.

I’m pairing music and booze because like I said, my opinion is a really big asshole. Ok without further ado…..

1. Machine Head – The Blackening. Not only the best album of the year, I think it’s the best metal record of the decade so far. This goes very nicely with Grey Goose and Coke.

2. Mastodon – Blood Mountain. I know it came out in 2006 but I listened to it constantly in 2007. I would pair this with Southern Comfort, straight up and warm.

3. Heaven & Hell – Live At Radio City. The Dio/Sabbath reunion was a dream come true for me. And the new song Shadow Of The Wind is so fucking heavy. It sounds like what you would hear when you wake up in Hell. I hope they make a record! You have to drink Absinthe with this. The real stuff, not the fake shit they sell everywhere now. And pour it over the sugar, the ritual is important. It’s everything.

4. Every Time I Die – The Big Dirty. This band always surprises me. So many influences and styles and it all works. Refused meets Black Sabbath. Riff mania. Paired with a case of PBR.

5. Serj Tankian – Elect The Dead. I know for some Serj is an acquired taste. Either you love him or hate him. I love him. And a bottle of Brunello Di Montalcino (fine Italian Sangiovese) will really help you connect.

6. Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace. I loved the first two Foo records and then I lost touch with them. This record brought me right back. Dave is a master of the hard rock hook. Time for a Black Tooth Grin. I just did a bunch of these with Grohl in Manchester. Shot of Crown or Seagram’s 7 very chilled with a splash of Coke. Repeat 6-12 times. Drink it or wear it!!! Dime forever!!!!

7. Led Zeppelin - The Complete Led Zeppelin. I already have all the records. I downloaded the whole catalog from iTunes and have not stopped listening. They sound as fresh and relevant today as they did 30 years ago. Served with a proper Imperial pint (pints) of Guinness.

8. Down – Down III: Over The Under. Phil sings his ass off on this record. The riffs are greasy and heavy like the Debris (beef ends and drippings) at Mother’s in New Orleans. I highly suggest a single barrel bourbon with some years on it like Pappy Van Winkle, Blanton’s, Eagle Rare, Woodford Reserve, Sazerac Rye and if you can’t find those, Maker’s Mark will work fine. If you must, one ice cube or a splash of water. Neat is best.

9. Robert Plant & Alison Krauss – Raising Sand. This album is all about mood, vibe and it’s beautiful. Graham’s 40 Year Old Tawny Port will go down as smooth as this record.

10. Pearl – Pearl EP. I have to mention this because I spent most of the year working on it and it fucking rocks!!!!! Pair it with a double Patron Silver chilled.

Bang your drunken heads my friends.
Cheers,
Scott

Scott Ian plays guitar for revolutionary metal band Anthrax and also for Pearl.

Artwork credit: Shepard Fairey