You know me; I love a good monkey story -- or two. I hate to come across as a one-trick chimp, uh, pony, but it ain't all bananas and poop throwing. There's a seedier side, and one only need travel to New Delhi, India to find it (as if they didn't already have enough crazy animal stories these days.)

It is there that the monkeys are en masse -- and oh boy, are they pissed.

Yes, you read that correctly.

The primate problem has gone on for some time, as New Delhi is home to hordes of rhesus macaques, with totals estimating over 20,000. The monkey menace has been a major campaign issue the past few years, with authorities having gone several avenues, even "hiring" larger (and more territorial, to boot) gray langurs to try and shock the monkeys (hey, hey) with their presence and force them out. They've made little progress.

That's right. A monkey jail. Hmm, I wonder if "monkey jail" ends up at all like Oz? Not the "yellow brick road, wicked witch" flying monkeys Oz, mind you, the "stab you with a shiv and make you my bitch, bitch!" monkeys Oz.

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I know what you're saying. "Just fire the grill and make some monkey burgers! Problem solved, right?" Wrong. Killing them is a no-no. "Why," you ask? Because they don't want to get their monkey god pissed off.

The most recent macaque attacks have increased public pressure on the Delhi government to do something, and do it quick, before we're forced to welcome our new simian overlords. But, to be honest, would that be so bad? I mean... it's less scary a thought that Ron Paul in '08, anyway.

thefreak, in light of this story, would have to have the chimp roommate in his fantasy sitcom have an evil twin. Hey, it worked for Knight Rider, right?