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  • TUESDAY NOVEMBER 6 2007 4:00 PM

Kiddie Pageants: Creepy? Harmless? What?



Feministing offers the heads up on the latest god-awful reality show, "Little Beauties: Ultimate Kiddie Queen Showdown":

They're gorgeous, they're talented, they're six-years old and with the helping hand of eager moms, determined pageant coaches, fabulous spray tan artists and "flipper" (fake teeth) makers, not to mention a couple of Pixie Sticks for energy, these girls are taking the stage at pageants all over the Southeast U.S for the chance to win cash prizes and crowns!


Hmm. Not comfortable with the juxtaposition of "gorgeous," which has definite overtones of very grownup beauty, and "Pixie Sticks," which is obviously intended to cuteify the whole thing.

On the other hand, you know, is it really so bad to have what are, in effect, organized games of dress up? Dress up is a perfectly fine childhood pastime, one that--for the record--little boys ought to be allowed, even encouraged, to play as well. After all, kids like sparkly things, they like pretending, they're pretty narcissistic; let 'em don the Hello Kitty nail polish and rhinestone crowns and mama's "real gold!" jewelry. Ooh and ahh over how adorable they are--god knows I tell my son he's adorable, cute, and/or beautiful about a thousand times a day.

So okay, maybe

this documentary reveals the humor and love behind an American tradition,


and it's not worth getting all worked up over.

But then again.

What We Will See:

  • The girls preparing for and competing in two of the biggest pageant on the circuit
  • Interviews with girls, mothers, a coach, pageant directors, spray tanner and "flipper" (fake teeth) maker,
  • Narration by "The Voice of Pageants" himself, the fabulous Mr. Tim
  • Glamorous crowning ceremonies
  • Practice sessions at home and with the indomitable Miss Nikki, one of the best coaches on the pageant circuit
  • The girls at home/at school in their normal environments, with family and friends, participating in extracurricular/sports activities
  • Spray tanning sessions

  • "Flipper" (fake teeth) fittings


Nope, back to creepy. "The circuit"? Spray tanning? Fake teeth fittings?

Come on, people. Dress-up is harmless play. Turning dress-up into a for-profit industry, where elementary-school kids are indoctrinated with expensive "beauty" treatments and the implication that there's something wrong with how they look (omg, you're six years old and you're missing a tooth! omg, you're a light-skinned kid and you need a tan!) is just godawful.

Not to mention the bigger issue: the investment by grownups--"the fabulous Mr. Tim," "the incominatble Miss Nikki" and, needless to say, these kids' own parents--in the Vital Importance of Looking Pretty!!! Little girls do not need that shit, people. That shit is fucked up.

Even my own kid, who is not above raiding my jewelry box or asking me to paint his nails, recognizes that "even if foofy things are fun sometimes, it would suck to feel like you had to be foofy *all the time* for people to like you."

Amen. Let the kids be kids: give 'em a box of costume jewelry, a rhinestone tiara or two, a couple silk capes they can pretend to be superman or a fairy princess with. Paint their nails, help them braid their hair. Don't forget to let them turn cardboard tubes into swords, shoebox tops into shields, the bottom of the shoebox into a robot mask, and paint whiskers on their cheeks with eyeliner after you put their hair into high ponytail "ears." Hell, let 'em watch you put makeup on before the babysitter gets there on the one night a month you go out, and go ahead and let them try a little lipstick and mascara too--it won't hurt them, and you can wash the pillowcases later.

But for heaven's sake, people, remember that you're adults; your job is to give them something to admire and aspire to other than the reflection of their own (bizarrely doll-like) faces in the mirror.

Bitch_PhD's son actually thinks she looks kind of "weird" with makeup on.

 

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Comments
almightymabel

almightymabel

San Diego, CA
November 2006

NOV 06, 2007 04:12 PM

puke
the saddest part about all this is that most of the kids don't even want to participate. it's usually the moms driving them to excel at something they never could themselves.

Salieri

Salieri

Denmark
July 2004

NOV 06, 2007 04:14 PM

Under the show's "Who we will meet"...


Aleena, 6 years old - The Flirt



Creepy.

fucklikeabandit

fucklikeabandit

I'm lost
May 2006

NOV 06, 2007 04:17 PM

On the link there it has this to say

Who We Will Meet:
Joanna, 6 years old - The Reigning Champ
Aleena, 6 years old - The Flirt
Kynnedy, 6 years old - The Diva
Jordan, 6 years old - The Longshot


THE FLIRT!!???

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

NOV 06, 2007 04:21 PM

So fucked up. That shit makes me so angry I can't even make a reasonable comment here. Disgusting.

CherryCoke

CherryCoke

Derry, NH
May 2007

NOV 06, 2007 04:23 PM

I remember when my little brother was 3 or 4 he would play dress up with the girl next door. One day they were Aladdin and Jasmine.
It was so cute.


Anyway, those kid pageants are stupid. Most of the time the kids seem to hate it and the parents have to force them to do it.

Jennifer_

Jennifer_

Venezuela
November 2006

NOV 06, 2007 04:27 PM

tsutar said:
On the link there it has this to say

Who We Will Meet:
Joanna, 6 years old - The Reigning Champ
Aleena, 6 years old - The Flirt
Kynnedy, 6 years old - The Diva
Jordan, 6 years old - The Longshot


THE FLIRT!!???


That's beyond disturbing.

Grown-up beauty pagents are creepy enough, but child beauty pageants are just exploitation. And they're even more sickening as they pretend to be wholesome and positive.
Goddamn, people suck.

Tinyhobo

Tinyhobo

Boulder City, NV
December 2006

NOV 06, 2007 04:28 PM

tsutar said:
On the link there it has this to say

Who We Will Meet:
Joanna, 6 years old - The Reigning Champ
Aleena, 6 years old - The Flirt
Kynnedy, 6 years old - The Diva
Jordan, 6 years old - The Longshot


THE FLIRT!!???



That is so fucking sad.

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

NOV 06, 2007 04:29 PM

tsutar said:
On the link there it has this to say

Who We Will Meet:
Joanna, 6 years old - The Reigning Champ
Aleena, 6 years old - The Flirt
Kynnedy, 6 years old - The Diva
Jordan, 6 years old - The Longshot


THE FLIRT!!???



Not cool.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

NOV 06, 2007 04:30 PM

almightymabel said:
puke
the saddest part about all this is that most of the kids don't even want to participate. it's usually the moms driving them to excel at something they never could themselves.


I have seen interviews where the pageant moms claim their daughters are the ones who want to do it. I cannot fathom any child wanting to do that without influence from a fucked up and misguided parent.

It's 2007, why do we still have pageants of any kind still? I don't even know one person who still watches the Miss USA and/or other pageants either.

Vivec

Vivec

I'm lost
April 2007

NOV 06, 2007 04:34 PM

It's like 1998 in this article.

Crissis

Crissis

Ecuador
January 2007

NOV 06, 2007 04:35 PM

It reminds me of Little Miss Sunshine, I love that movie, peagants for little girls suck puke

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

NOV 06, 2007 04:38 PM

almightymabel said:
puke
the saddest part about all this is that most of the kids don't even want to participate. it's usually the moms driving them to excel at something they never could themselves.



Amen.

"I'm gonna live vicariously thru my kid, because I failed at this when I was their age."

the same goes to parents who are hellbent on their kids winning at sports and academics all the damn time.

I can't help but think of the pageant scenes from "Little Miss Sunshine" and the quiz show kid from "Magnolia"

Peanut85

peanut85

San Jose, CA
July 2002

NOV 06, 2007 04:40 PM

Gringo said:

almightymabel said:
puke
the saddest part about all this is that most of the kids don't even want to participate. it's usually the moms driving them to excel at something they never could themselves.


I have seen interviews where the pageant moms claim their daughters are the ones who want to do it. I cannot fathom any child wanting to do that without influence from a fucked up and misguided parent.

It's 2007, why do we still have pageants of any kind still? I don't even know one person who still watches the Miss USA and/or other pageants either.



Middle America. The same people that watch Springer, Entertainment Tonight, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and whatever other meaningless crap shows are on today.

We can blame the parents, or the kids, or the organizers, but the sick and disgusting thing is, it's on TV for a reason. Because people out there WILL watch it....

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

NOV 06, 2007 04:41 PM

I don't plan to have kids, but if I ever did and I had a girl, I would never, EVER let her compete in any of those competitions. I've seen more than one documentary about child beauty pageants that made me want to fucking barf.

Wren

Wren

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

NOV 06, 2007 04:43 PM

Even better? The Sponsored Links right below the article.

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