News > Culture > Whaddya Mean You Won't Fuck Me?!? I'll Sue!

commentary
SUNDAY OCTOBER 28 2007 4:00 PM

Whaddya Mean You Won't Fuck Me?!? I'll Sue!

Submitted by Bitch_PhD

Edited by Bitch_PhD

Tags: age discrimination, senility, crazy old men

77-year-old Rolf Eden has filed suit against a 19-year-old Berlin woman for the following reason: Despite a night on the town with Eden, which ended back at his place, she refused to have sex with him, saying the he was too old for her.

Way to charm the ladies, Smoove B. No woman can possibly resist being sued for refusing to have sex with a man after his

serving (her) champagne and playing the piano for her.

It is not possible! No woman can resist the champagne! And the playing of the piano! Clearly this is one frigid, uptight, bitch.

Not to mention, the man's name is Rolf Eden. Have you ever heard a sexier name? Rolf. It just rolls off the tongue like . . . well, like . . . well, like a slang term for vomiting, actually. (My husband is German, I'm allowed to make this joke.) And Eden! I can just hear it now. "Baby, let me take you back to the days of Original Sin . . . let me show you my trouser snake . . . touch my forbidden fruit!" HAWT.

Lest you think I'm making these lines up, well, I am. Then again, the guy apparently actually said

"I would like to die as I have lived -- on a woman."

Which is actually ickier than the trouser snake line. Quite an achievement, that.

But some anonymous young woman was not only unmoved by his obvious charms, she had to go and be all *mean* about it!

"I was crushed."

The women, they are so, so cruel. There is only one possible place to alleviate such harsh, unfeeling treatment--a court of law.

He has filed charges with the prosecutors' office, he said. "After all, there are laws against discrimination."

Then again, Eden admits

"there are some women who are too old for me. But in that case you have to be more diplomatic and say, 'Sorry, you're not my type.'"

These young people today. No manners. No manners whatsoever.

Bitch_PhD realizes that this guy is just after free publicity, but finds herself unable to resist him.

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Comments

Necia

San Francisco, CA

August 2005

OCT 30, 2007 09:48 PM

wink84 said:
reminds me of "The Continental"

I love you.

Necia

San Francisco, CA

August 2005

OCT 30, 2007 09:51 PM

Zarth said:

PointBlank said:

Bitch_PhD said:

Midnyte said:
Hey Bitch....

Because your HUSBAND is German you have a right to make fun of Germans? So by that logic, since your husband is married to a woman, he can talk all the shit about women he wants? WTF??? Why even say anything about it? Why make an excuse if you are going to say something shitty then just own it and be proud you said it and don't apologize or otherwise don't say it at all. Do you have friends who are black too?

And that guy is just lame!!

Um, hello? Joke? Ha ha?

Mocking Germans makes you worse than Hitler.

This thread is full of WIN.

And confusion.

DarkNyghtzDream

Eatontown, NJ

November 2004

OCT 31, 2007 01:08 PM

... some people are just... pathetic.

missdebra

Anchorage, AK

October 2007

OCT 31, 2007 01:32 PM

I think Rolf is sexy :]
I mean honestly, what's hotter than an older
german man with a receding hairline?

Roethke

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

OCT 31, 2007 06:16 PM

khoos said:
Wow, just wow...

I wonder if this means I can sue all the guys I've fucked who HAVEN'T taken me out for dinner...

Or if I paid for dinner! If this sets precedent for international fictitious relationship court, I'mma get fat from all the winnings!

Clidna

Canada

January 2005

NOV 01, 2007 10:55 PM

MarcMerm said:

PointBlank said:
I'm a creep!!

I'm glad that my comment, with the exception of Midnyte, opened a constructive dialogue about honesty in dating. My intent wasn't to say that a guy should sue if a girl doesn't put out at the end of the date or a girl looking to get into a relationship and the white picket fences (as Midnyte said) should sue if the guy just wanted sex. It was to say that there is a significant lack of honesty in dating. People date for so many reasons without ever being honest about it and just lead the other person on. This isn't fair to the person being led because it wastes their time, money, and above all else, their psychological resources. How about we start acting like adults when we go out and say this is what I'm looking for out of this. Then again, how do you say on a first date I'm looking for a relationship without the other person getting freaked out that before even a first date you've got plans for marriage... or maybe that's just immaturity speaking.

The problem with this is that what you are looking for on a date may not necessarily be the same at the beginning of the date as it is at the end, depending on how you get along, what you have in common, etc. You might start a date with the single intention of getting laid, and then discover that the other person is your soulmate. Or, you might find out that the other person has slept with 400 hundred people without protection, and you don't want to partake in the STD's. Or, you might go out with a person that's not really your type (ie. too old) to be nice and give him a chance, and then find out that he's a complete douchebag who expects to get laid because he wined and dined you, and then sues because you didn't put out.