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  • SUNDAY OCTOBER 28 2007 4:00 PM

Whaddya Mean You Won't Fuck Me?!? I'll Sue!

Submitted by Bitch_PhD

Edited by Bitch_PhD

Tags: age discrimination, senility, crazy old men



Some men just ooze class.

77-year-old Rolf Eden has filed suit against a 19-year-old Berlin woman for the following reason: Despite a night on the town with Eden, which ended back at his place, she refused to have sex with him, saying the he was too old for her.


Way to charm the ladies, Smoove B. No woman can possibly resist being sued for refusing to have sex with a man after his

serving (her) champagne and playing the piano for her.


It is not possible! No woman can resist the champagne! And the playing of the piano! Clearly this is one frigid, uptight, bitch.

Not to mention, the man's name is Rolf Eden. Have you ever heard a sexier name? Rolf. It just rolls off the tongue like . . . well, like . . . well, like a slang term for vomiting, actually. (My husband is German, I'm allowed to make this joke.) And Eden! I can just hear it now. "Baby, let me take you back to the days of Original Sin . . . let me show you my trouser snake . . . touch my forbidden fruit!" HAWT.

Lest you think I'm making these lines up, well, I am. Then again, the guy apparently actually said

"I would like to die as I have lived -- on a woman."


Which is actually ickier than the trouser snake line. Quite an achievement, that.

But some anonymous young woman was not only unmoved by his obvious charms, she had to go and be all *mean* about it!

"I was crushed."


The women, they are so, so cruel. There is only one possible place to alleviate such harsh, unfeeling treatment--a court of law.

He has filed charges with the prosecutors' office, he said. "After all, there are laws against discrimination."



Then again, Eden admits

"there are some women who are too old for me. But in that case you have to be more diplomatic and say, 'Sorry, you're not my type.'"


These young people today. No manners. No manners whatsoever.

Bitch_PhD realizes that this guy is just after free publicity, but finds herself unable to resist him.

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Comments
June

June

Canada
March 2004

OCT 28, 2007 07:25 PM

gross

What a loser oink

Skywisdom

Skywisdom

Portland, OR
December 2005

OCT 28, 2007 07:33 PM

wink84 said:
reminds me of "The Continental"



Oh no! I have spilled Champagne all over your boobs!

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Melbourne, FL
February 2003

OCT 28, 2007 07:37 PM

Um, what?

hor

hor

USA
June 2005

OCT 28, 2007 07:45 PM


77?? Meh. I'd fuck him.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

at $10k for every year he's been ticking. skull


Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 28, 2007 07:46 PM

KMatt said:
Lets be honest here..what was a 19 year old going out with a 77 year old man for in the first place? What do you think she expected... I don't want to judge and all, but sounds to me like she was sticking around to see if he had a bad cough or not.

She's probably an attractive girl. Even if she were "using" him - he was also using her and possibly hoping to impress her by spending money on her.

Sorry, but having things bought for you and going up to their room doesn't obligate you to fuck someone.

When you spend money trying to get someone in bed and it doesn't work out? Just chalk that up as an "asshole tax."

He should just hire prostitutes if he expects sex.

CodyW

CodyW

Lubbock, TX
December 2004

OCT 28, 2007 07:49 PM

Aww, he's just mad because his nutz got played! Barry Manilow was my first thought.

KMatt

KMatt

Royal Oak, MI
February 2006

OCT 28, 2007 07:51 PM

No it doesn't obligate her to fuck him. I agree. Apparently you missed the whole joke of the statement. You know, the sticking around to see if he had a bad cough. It was a joke.

p.s. who wants to take me out and shower me with gifts. i put out.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 28, 2007 07:57 PM

KMatt said:
No it doesn't obligate her to fuck him. I agree. Apparently you missed the whole joke of the statement. You know, the sticking around to see if he had a bad cough. It was a joke.

p.s. who wants to take me out and shower me with gifts. i put out.


Even if it were Rolf Eden?

Ok, so you'd put out even if....

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


zoom image

This guy showered you with gifts?


Because if you would:

1) That's some serious dedication.
2) I want to see photos.

KMatt

KMatt

Royal Oak, MI
February 2006

OCT 28, 2007 08:00 PM

One thing that disturbs me is that you have that picture on hand.

And also, I never said Rolf Eden, or males in general.

Eden from Heroes would be much more suited to my tastes.

PRockGirlScout

PRockGirlScout

Portland, OR
October 2005

OCT 28, 2007 08:05 PM

Skywisdom said:

wink84 said:
reminds me of "The Continental"



Oh no! I have spilled Champagne all over your boobs!



That's what this made me think of too.

Crissis

Crissis

Ecuador
January 2007

OCT 28, 2007 08:09 PM

q viejo verde! puke

elevatordown

elevatordown

San Jose, CA
October 2004

OCT 28, 2007 08:10 PM

I'm surprised he's even capable of having sex. I think he's just trying to be funny, but you know Bitch_PHD -- any excuse to complain and be sensational...

dingoes8

dingoes8

Milwaukee, WI
March 2004

OCT 28, 2007 08:12 PM

"I would like to die as I have lived -- on a woman."



That's the most selfish comment I've ever heard. This random girl would be in therapy for the rest of her life and probably never be able to have a normal sex life, whereas he would suddenly cease to exist and it wouldn't even matter what he was doing?

Instead, I hope he dies on some German red carpet and visibly poops his overpriced white suit in front of all the paparazzi. That's a very unselfish way to die, because it will bring joy to all the people who laugh at him.

wheezy_e

wheezy_e

Boulder City, NV
April 2004

OCT 28, 2007 08:15 PM

A frivolous discrimination lawsuit? I've heard rumors about these elusive creatures, but never did I imagine that I'd get to see one taking place with my very own eyes!

MrKatos

MrKatos

Saint Louis, MO
September 2006

OCT 28, 2007 09:11 PM

PRockGirlScout said:

Skywisdom said:

wink84 said:
reminds me of "The Continental"



Oh no! I have spilled Champagne all over your boobs!



That's what this made me think of too.



Same here. smile

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