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  • SUNDAY OCTOBER 28 2007 4:00 PM

Whaddya Mean You Won't Fuck Me?!? I'll Sue!

Submitted by Bitch_PhD

Edited by Bitch_PhD

Tags: age discrimination, senility, crazy old men



Some men just ooze class.

77-year-old Rolf Eden has filed suit against a 19-year-old Berlin woman for the following reason: Despite a night on the town with Eden, which ended back at his place, she refused to have sex with him, saying the he was too old for her.


Way to charm the ladies, Smoove B. No woman can possibly resist being sued for refusing to have sex with a man after his

serving (her) champagne and playing the piano for her.


It is not possible! No woman can resist the champagne! And the playing of the piano! Clearly this is one frigid, uptight, bitch.

Not to mention, the man's name is Rolf Eden. Have you ever heard a sexier name? Rolf. It just rolls off the tongue like . . . well, like . . . well, like a slang term for vomiting, actually. (My husband is German, I'm allowed to make this joke.) And Eden! I can just hear it now. "Baby, let me take you back to the days of Original Sin . . . let me show you my trouser snake . . . touch my forbidden fruit!" HAWT.

Lest you think I'm making these lines up, well, I am. Then again, the guy apparently actually said

"I would like to die as I have lived -- on a woman."


Which is actually ickier than the trouser snake line. Quite an achievement, that.

But some anonymous young woman was not only unmoved by his obvious charms, she had to go and be all *mean* about it!

"I was crushed."


The women, they are so, so cruel. There is only one possible place to alleviate such harsh, unfeeling treatment--a court of law.

He has filed charges with the prosecutors' office, he said. "After all, there are laws against discrimination."



Then again, Eden admits

"there are some women who are too old for me. But in that case you have to be more diplomatic and say, 'Sorry, you're not my type.'"


These young people today. No manners. No manners whatsoever.

Bitch_PhD realizes that this guy is just after free publicity, but finds herself unable to resist him.

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Comments
Scorn

Scorn

Northport, NY
September 2007

OCT 28, 2007 04:58 PM

he shouldve said "pretty please?"...seriously it works like a charm

wink84

wink84

Fulton, MO
October 2007

OCT 28, 2007 05:00 PM

reminds me of "The Continental"

this_guy

this_guy

I'm lost
September 2007

OCT 28, 2007 05:01 PM

oh, come on-- this is an obvious joking attempt to get an aging actor's name back in the news. He's being funny and you guys are all too uptight

CherryCoke

CherryCoke

Derry, NH
May 2007

OCT 28, 2007 05:02 PM



It is not possible! No woman can resist the champagne! And the playing of the piano! Clearly this is one frigid, uptight, bitch.



Agreed.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 28, 2007 05:04 PM

He should just find a girl who has a ball fetish........especially since his face and neck looks like a scrotum.

Formus

Formus

Milwaukee, WI
May 2007

OCT 28, 2007 05:25 PM

Ten points for the Smoove reference.

existentialsex4

existentialsex4

I'm lost
October 2007

OCT 28, 2007 05:40 PM

This man will never get a date again

code_red

code_red

Portland, OR
July 2005

OCT 28, 2007 06:19 PM

part of me wants to high five the IDEA that someone had the balls to sue a woman for this... then i come to my senses, and the other part wants to put my head in a plastic bag.

Argh. Thats a few minutes of my life that I will never get back.

puke eeek skull

xazapdmytinu

xazapdmytinu

Fort Collins, CO
July 2007

OCT 28, 2007 06:20 PM

Hahaha! Laws against Discrimination...I'll admit, I didn't see that one coming.

SuntLacrimae

SuntLacrimae

Eugene, OR
October 2005

OCT 28, 2007 06:23 PM

Does this mean I can sue all those straight girls who turned me down for discrimination based on gender? surreal puke

TheFly

thefly

Eagle Springs, NC
November 2003

OCT 28, 2007 06:24 PM

At first glance I thought the image was of Jerry Springer

I was hoping this was talk of a new special he was having.

Got to admit, the guy is being civil about it... an American, over the last fucking hill actor would take her, kill her and then be found not guilty

Arbiter_Morrison

Arbiter_Morrison

Abilene, TX
August 2007

OCT 28, 2007 06:32 PM

this is serious?! what the hell is wrong with people to think this is a reason to sue someone over i cant help but laugh over something so stupid
what a douche

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 28, 2007 06:45 PM

Hopefully it will be tossed out of court.

I don't know a thing about Germany's court system so I have no clue how far his suit will go.

MakersMarkman

MakersMarkman

I'm lost
May 2005

OCT 28, 2007 07:19 PM

OK, I'm going to risk being politcally incorrect ... this sounds like a paid date with a professional escort. I too don't know German law, but were prostituion legal there, and were there a contractual agreement ... well the man, ugly or not, he has a case. Seriously, what 19-year-old woman will go out on a date with a 77-year-old-man WITHOUT getting paid???

KMatt

KMatt

Royal Oak, MI
February 2006

OCT 28, 2007 07:19 PM

Lets be honest here..what was a 19 year old going out with a 77 year old man for in the first place? What do you think she expected... I don't want to judge and all, but sounds to me like she was sticking around to see if he had a bad cough or not.

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