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  • TUESDAY OCTOBER 16 2007 8:00 PM

'Tis the Season





Are you a girl? Is it Halloween? Be a sexy 1900s steel conglomerate tycoon!

Or maybe a sexy anorexic? Sexy institutionalized mental patient? Sexy convict--in traditional stripes or modern orange?

Or, I know! A sexy lady bug! Perhaps a sexy bumble bee? A sexy gardener! (I swear I *made that one up*, Googled it, and voila.)

Sexy girl scout! Sexy tin man! (Think I'm joking? Click that link.)

My favorite, though, has to be the sexy clown. I can see where one might be tempted by that, if only because it's so fucking revolting that it might just kill the whole "sexy costume" thing dead.

There's nothing wrong with the odd sexy costume, mind. Elvira's been around forever, and everyone likes the vampires. The unitard-wearing cat costume is timeless. But look what's happened to the cat now. Subtlety, people!

Sure, I myself once went to a party as a vampire victim, which involved a white cotton gown, red lipliner bite mark, and a candleholder--'twas sexy, though I admit the primary impulse there was "I already own all these things." And it wasn't basically a lycra mini dress, with or without a foofy tutu of some sort attached.

But jeez louise, enough is enough. I realize I am going to sound like the most prudish mom ever with what I am about to say. Too bad. I keep getting these costume catalogs in the mail, and all the little girl costumes--every single one--has a short skirt on it and is some sexy girled-up version of something or other--fairy, pirate, princess, etc. Oh sure, the catalog copy calls them "cute" but we know that "cute" is often (as in this case) a euphemism for "sexy, on a little kid."

And the boys aren't a whole lot better off. All they get is the oh-so he man stuff. Cop, yawn; firefighter, yawn. Pirate, superhero, astronaut, yawn. Luke Skywalker, Buzz Lightyear, ninja. Yawn.

About the only costumes that aren't revoltingly gendered are the Harry Potter ones. But really, would it be so strange to have a girl dress as a (non-anorexic) skeleton? Or a boy as a clown? Are girls allowed to be Spiderman, or boys to be cheerleaders? Aren't monsters and magical creatures supposed to come in, you know, both sexes?

Bah. The point of the carnival should be to invert conventional expectations, not to dial them up to eleven.

Bitch_PhD is proud to report that her son wants to be a ghost this year. In the traditional sheet-with-eyeholes.

 

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Comments
code_red

code_red

Portland, OR
July 2005

OCT 16, 2007 09:39 PM

I have to say, this article made a very valid point.

Until women get a clue though, ill just enjoy the view. Thanks! wink

LostLucy

LostLucy

USA
December 2006

OCT 16, 2007 09:40 PM

All of you hot single guys go to sleep for this one...

I have to say, I have a 24 yr old stpadughter & a 14 yr old son

and an 8 yr ol d son & a 4 yr old daughter.

There have been distinctly different notions of gender in these two separate generations, according to what is presented in the media and clothing.


In the late 80's and until the late 90's, we had sonic youth and grunge, and clothing for children was so androgynous that even stores like the Gap had t-shirts and jeans meant to be unisex.

then we entered the era of boy bands and britney and christina and a trend toward extremes in terms of gender in media and fashion.

I hate the whole JonBeneting of little girls' clothing. Let's let kid's be kids and be half-naked when they are old enough to decide for themselves!!

Clidna

Clidna

Canada
January 2005

OCT 16, 2007 09:41 PM

Pfft... this is a clown costume...
hang on, gotta fix the link...

Pandapeep

Pandapeep

Miamisburg, OH
March 2006

OCT 16, 2007 09:47 PM

KMFCM said:
I personally think "sexy" costumes are the least creative, and a cop-out



No, the least creative ones are the terrible sex joke costumes. Ha, ha, see, I'm a breathalysers test, blow here. *psst* It's my penis, teehee. And, trust me, considering I spend 5 to 8 hours a day surrounded by Halloween costumes, if all you can find are the "sexy" costumes, you're not looking hard enough.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 16, 2007 09:48 PM

McKenneth said:
In a potentially universe-shattering coincidence, I find myself agreeing 100% with this. Weird.


I've always wondered why women feel the urge to dress sexy for Halloween (regardless of this article).

I mean, they have one day out of the year to go out in public dressed "gross" on purpose....and they STILL favor dressing "cute" or "sexy." What the fuck?

Every year, I still try to convince my girlfriend to dress ghoulish or zombie-like for Halloween but she's not havin' it.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 16, 2007 09:49 PM

Tekky said:
i'm buying a slutty harry potter costume.

why? because it's my goddamn job in this here place, and it is AWESOME.



That totally reminds me of an SNL bit.

ThatTalentedHack

ThatTalentedHack

San Antonio, TX
July 2007

OCT 16, 2007 09:54 PM

Everyones favorite national holiday...
dress your girlfriend up as a whore day!!!!!!!!

coleen

coleen

USA
January 2007

OCT 16, 2007 09:56 PM

I really dislike that they try to make all women's costumes sexy. And on top of that, they make it out of the crappiest fabric known to man.

I've never gotten a store bought costume, nor worn anything "sexy" for Halloween. I prefer going as ugly dead things, but this year I'm going to be a lumberjack/stereo-typical Canadian!

Thanks to Bob and Doug McKenzie smile

Clidna

Clidna

Canada
January 2005

OCT 16, 2007 10:01 PM

Clidna said:
Pfft... this is a clown costume...
hang on, gotta fix the link...



God frigging damn stupid Cogeco...

Ahem. Anyhow, this is a clown costume:

That's right - be afraid, be very afraid.

Clidna

Clidna

Canada
January 2005

OCT 16, 2007 10:02 PM

coleen said:
I really dislike that they try to make all women's costumes sexy. And on top of that, they make it out of the crappiest fabric known to man.

I've never gotten a store bought costume, nor worn anything "sexy" for Halloween. I prefer going as ugly dead things, but this year I'm going to be a lumberjack/stereo-typical Canadian!

Thanks to Bob and Doug McKenzie smile



Nice costume, ya hoser wink

Pwndcake

Pwndcake

Portland, OR
October 2004

OCT 16, 2007 10:04 PM

I was totally with you until you yawned at ninjas. Now I hate this article.

coleen

coleen

USA
January 2007

OCT 16, 2007 10:06 PM

I've always wondered why women feel the urge to dress sexy for Halloween (regardless of this article).

I mean, they have one day out of the year to go out in public dressed "gross" on purpose....and they STILL favor dressing "cute" or "sexy." What the fuck?

Every year, I still try to convince my girlfriend to dress ghoulish or zombie-like for Halloween but she's not havin' it.


I loved dressing up as dead things. Second grade I was a dead bride, 7th grade I was the fairy of death, last year I was a zombie, and the year before that I was a junkie that had my throat slit because I owed money to some dealers, lol. I had fake track marks, and blood, it was one of my best. Though in 2004 I was Amy Lee, but that costume was pretty rad, not dead, but not "sexy" either tongue


Nice costume, ya hoser


Omg, I LOLed so much!!!!!!! Ahhh, I love you love

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 16, 2007 10:16 PM

coleen said:
I loved dressing up as dead things. Second grade I was a dead bride, 7th grade I was the fairy of death, last year I was a zombie, and the year before that I was a junkie that had my throat slit because I owed money to some dealers, lol. I had fake track marks, and blood, it was one of my best. Though in 2004 I was Amy Lee, but that costume was pretty rad, not dead, but not "sexy" either tongue


In 2003, I had just moved to FL from CA. There were a shit ton of fires that year in CA so I used liquid latex to make burns, used black temp hair color as smoke on the skin, and blood....and then made a t-shirt that said, "San Diego local" and burned holes in it to reveal the burns/scars I made all over my torso.

Then did the typical hairspray thing on the head to make it look fried/frazzled.

Not too many people got it.....because I quickly learned that when it comes to watching tv in FL, all they care about is college football.

Drake

Drake

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

OCT 16, 2007 10:18 PM

I was Zorro last weekend, and next party I'm going as



Gender is not a factor on Halloween.

shapeshifter23

shapeshifter23

San Francisco, CA
September 2005

OCT 16, 2007 10:23 PM

Perhaps a sexy bumble bee?



Did anyone else ever see that early episode of The Outer Limits TV show called "ZZZZZ"? Joanna Frank was so voluptuous in that role as 'Regina, a giant mutant queen bee in human form'...



SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Ben Fields is an entomologist seeking a lab assistant. He is married to Francesca Fields. Regina, a giant mutant queen bee in human form is searching for a human mate to prolong her species' life span, gets the job. Ben and Francesca's emotional attachment to one another was enough to convince Regina and the bees that humans are a haphazard species ripe for genetic compromise; she put it succinctly when she told her minions that humans "live by what they think, not by what they know." This halting dance between Regina and Ben, and between order and chaos, came to a head when Francesca spied Regina seductively licking a flower in the Fields' garden at night. Francesca's repulsion (ostensibly at glimpsing Regina in her bee form) and the implicit, open-ended sexuality of Regina's act helped set the Fields' tragic downfall into motion. The intrusion of chaotic passion into their lives ultimately did them in, just as Regina's reliance on order destroyed her when she failed to account for Ben's emotional rage after Francesca's tragic death.

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