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Cronenberg Remake Worries

FRIDAY OCTOBER 5 2007 12:00 AM

Submitted by johnnyfu. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: cronenberg, jason vorhees

Horror movie geeks are abuzz and aghast at news of a Michael Bay-anchored reboot of Friday the 13th.

Jason Vorhees might be safe in Bay�s hands. But more troubling horror remake news was broken this week. While it doesn�t involve a hockey-mask wearing psychopath, it does involve a Canadian with a dark inner life.

Variety reports that movie production house Spyglass entertainment is prepping a remake of David Cronenberg�s 1979 oddball, creepo classic The Brood. The original was a Canadian-government produced low budget, squirm-inducing part of Cronenberg�s masterful run of horror movies. Along with Shivers, Rabid and Scanners, Videodrome and other films its proof that Cronenberg�s is a sick genius. (Writing that list of WTF movies gave me chills � the Onion�s AV Club has a pretty OK explanation of why.)

There�s about zero chance that The Brood remake will be any good. There�s no way a modern studio would release a film constructed like the original. When the plot of the movie � which I don�t want to reveal because I think everyone should have the chance to watch it cold � is stripped and tightened, there will be zero of the original�s mojo left.

The original maintains an unsettling creepy tone for much of its length and then � blammo, ka-pow � there�s a huge plot turn with some of the grossest, strangest imagery that�s ever been in a movie. Making the basic story conform to a conventional three act structure � would totally kill it.

Judging from the other films penned by Cory Goodman, the scripter charged with re-write duties � the new version is extremely unlikely to be half as visionary or weird. According to his IMDB profile, he�s written two scripts, neither of which have been mounted as movies, and one of which � Priest � is summarized on IMDB as an �A priest � disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.� Too bad somebody already got to the biker with a flaming skull gimmick, right?

Scanners, another Cronenberg classic set for a remake, is just as problematic. Aside from the film�s biggest set piece � a justifiably famous shot of a head blowing up � the film is surprisingly slow and deliberate. A remake would have, like, 20 times as many heads blowing up, but none of its other-worldliness.

The only director that really could be trusted to make these movies is the one who made them in the first place � Cronenberg himself. However, judging from his last three movies, he�s not interested in revisiting his splattery venereal film roots. A History of Violence, Spider and Eastern Promises are all pretty good movies, but they�re disappointingly realistic and, for Cronenberg at least, self consciously mature. The last real mutant movie Cronenberg made, the criminally under-seen Existenz, was a flop, so maybe he�s scared to get back into the fleshy sci-fi movies that really made his name.

22 Comments

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Cassiel

Aurora, CO

September 2004

OCT 05, 2007 01:04 AM

dude. i am psyched for this, because i think the original was great, and i think the subtext/subject matter is perfect for today's world. though i do agree it had a creepy unsettling feel to it. i am cautious but optimistic.

as for a 'scanners' remake, that could be good.

Evilgasm

Netherlands

April 2007

OCT 05, 2007 03:09 AM

Anything could be cool.... even the remake of a classic. But let us be realistic here: This is Hollywood we're talking about. The fact alone that in the past three (+) years there has been little other than remakes or sequels coming out of the studios shows just how bad it has gotten with the level of creativity there. Certainly originality is a concept that has gone the way of dinosaur. In most cases Hollywood will just try to rehash old works in the hopes that the known name will generate enough revenue to make it worth while. They won't respect the original material and certainly won't take the kind of risks Cronenberg made his name with. I fully expect these remakes to go the way of The Exorcist remake: total flop.

the criminally under-seen Existenz

I did see that film. Unfortunately I though it sucked. I think Cronenberg made a wise career (and artistic) choice by switching to the more dramatic films he has done of late.

erleichda

Germany

May 2003

OCT 05, 2007 04:16 AM

I'm still kind of traumatised from seeing The Brood some twenty years ago.

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Morocco

OCT 05, 2007 04:34 AM

It's depressing to me that American filmmakers seem incapable of making an original horror movie at this point, and can only make (generally) shitty remakes. Then the few "original" movies they do come up with are worse than the (generally) shitty remakes.

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY

May 2003

OCT 05, 2007 06:54 AM

I'm amused that anyone is getting cranky about a Friday The 13th remake, since the original ripped off so much of Bay Of Blood that it may as well have been an (uncredited) remake.

Twelve

Bay City, MI

April 2007

OCT 05, 2007 06:58 AM

I tried to watch all 5 (?) Scanners movies in a row one time. I was pretty sure by the end that my head really was going to explode.

I hope someday soon everyone just stops watching these shitty movies and we get something a little more original. It's just way too hard to actually lose money on a movie.

Bonaparte

Fort Worth, TX

September 2006

OCT 05, 2007 08:03 AM

semi-off topic: i loved existenz. the end.

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH

April 2004

OCT 05, 2007 09:12 AM

Scanners was dull and uninspired.

And filmmakers grow up.

Skywisdom

Portland, OR

December 2005

OCT 05, 2007 09:36 AM

Morgan said:
It's depressing to me that American filmmakers seem incapable of making an original horror movie at this point, and can only make (generally) shitty remakes. Then the few "original" movies they do come up with are worse than the (generally) shitty remakes.

I heard the Descent was good. Was that Australian or something though?

You know what's an awesome horror film out right now? Black Sheep, made in New Zealand, special effects by WETA. It's about sheep that eat people. And then whoever is bitten by a sheep turns into a sheep monster.
It's amazing. AMAZING.

Skywisdom

Portland, OR

December 2005

OCT 05, 2007 09:37 AM

Cigarette said:
Scanners was dull and uninspired.

And filmmakers grow up.

*hhhhhhghhhghhghghghhhhhrrrrrrrrrrr!*

...Did your head explode yet?
Damn!

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

OCT 05, 2007 10:27 AM

Skywisdom said:
You know what's an awesome horror film out right now? Black Sheep, made in New Zealand, special effects by WETA. It's about sheep that eat people. And then whoever is bitten by a sheep turns into a sheep monster.
It's amazing. AMAZING.

...you're shitting me. I must have this movie!

-TM

Skywisdom

Portland, OR

December 2005

OCT 05, 2007 11:19 AM

http://www.blacksheep-themovie.com/

shapeshifter23

San Francisco, CA

September 2005

OCT 05, 2007 12:14 PM

Your comment may be true in general, but not strictly accurate (I don't go out of my way to watch enough horror movies to say). I just watched the latest William Friedkin movie Bug last night and it was fabulously horrific, and more like Cronenberg than anything Cronenberg has done since Existenz

d20

San Francisco, CA

September 2003

OCT 05, 2007 01:42 PM

i hadn't even thought of Spider in years... god i loved that movie. hello Netflix!

Cassiel

Aurora, CO

September 2004

OCT 05, 2007 01:54 PM

d20 said:
i hadn't even thought of Spider in years... god i loved that movie. hello Netflix!

I got to meet Cronenberg @ a sneak preview of 'Spider' a few years ago...really nice, intelligent guy, and very tall...the ending of that film made me cry

shapeshifter23 said:

'Bug' was so fucking awesome.

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