I'd like to add that slapping can be fun...as long as you remember to establish a safety word people.

in all seriousness though...it's a legitimate thing...there are plenty of women who beat up their Hubbies...does it make it any less wrong because it's normally the other way around? I can't believe he would call the police because she slapped him once...one night...because he was deliberately busting her chops and knew she would get riled up. hopefully it turns into a useful lesson rather than some grudge that they hold against each other.

I hit my boyfriend, he never hits me.
I hit him as a joke or game, not hard. He likes it.

...

well he asked her to take classes so I guess its not something that happened once, there is no need for a hit, it can still be psychological abuse

Slapping once, and carefully, requires a safeword. Beyound that it can be dangerous for an organ more sensitive than gonads.... the brain. Slapping hard is not a good idea, girl to guy, guy to girl, etc,,, you know this I hope Bitch?

So if a man slaps a woman just once, only one night, she should take it?

I'm a bit confused anyway, as your second comment seems to contradict the first.

True, this case doesn't seem as serious as most, but it does help to further mock the problem of female on male DV. A cousin of mine, a really scary amazon (6'5" 300lbs -- no joke) routinely beats up on her husband, and most of the people in my family thinks it's a big fucking joke.

I am sure if he had slapped her the talk on the listserv (and her attitude) would have been very different.

People are stupid.

I think he should have called 911, but NOT as a joke.

This was in Jane Magazine, was it not?

"her boyfriend called 9/11"

Careful, or you could create an entirely new conspiracy theory here.

okay, I guess a more specific explaination is in order...if someone slaps you one time you tell them to not slap you. if they slap you again call the police...

then again I suppose it really depends on the slap...if someone slaps you once and you get knocked unconcious it's not really appropriate...

but essentially what I was saying is that in most cases being slapped once is not a cause for calling the police, while being slapped repeatedly over a period of days weeks months or even years is...so I'm guessing that the guy called the police not because he was slapped once, but multiple times after asking her not to. It works the same way is if a man slaps a woman, in my mind...and either way I'm sure it's very difficult to tell of the person you love for it, let alone call the police...

There are so many David Gest jokes that can be made here, my mind just went completely blank.

still missing the point, perhaps see
Bitch_PhD's prior story on getting out of abusive relationships with regard to legality and responsibility.

if a person assaults another person, there is the necessicity to resolve the situation ASAP, and if prior to resolution there is the feeling that retaliation is in order, there needs to be some mediation either by space or the law.

nitpicking over degree in this situation is useless as abuse is abuse, and until there's a concensus that that is fact, then we're still very fucked.

it's the 21st century, let's behave as such.

Exactly. And this includes verbal assaults/threats, as well.

I didn't mean to nitpick over the degree. It was the only way I knew how to explain that I don't think in the specific situation, it was the first time that this sort of thing had happened. The boyfriend explained to the police that he didn't want her arrested, he just wanted her to go away for the night. This indicates to me that he knew if she didn't then things would likely escalate...most likely he knew this from past experience. Because of this I feel that he was, in fact, in the right by calling the police when she refused to go.

I suppose that really wasn't what I said earlier...but it was what I was trying to say.

I wasn't trying to say that the severity of the situation changes the apparent "wrongness" because I know people use it as an excuse all the time..."I only slapped her" or "She missed me when she threw the plate at me." are not sufficient reasons to discount abuse...but they may not be situations in which someone calls the police (Especially if the severity of the act relative to previous abuse is considerably milder.) I'm not saying it's right, but it's how many seem to think (Including myself, apparently).

I've slapped my boyfriend before. I'm not proud of it, but sometimes it feels as if there's no other option, if he's grabbing me and trying to keep me from leaving, and I'm trying to leave to keep from letting my anger get the best of me, well, sometimes it's a good shocker to make him let go. I guess I'm an abuser! :x

Sounds like they're both idiots.