Damn, That Snake Should've Had a Warning Label

I realize that "stupid people" news items aren't the most challenging targets in the world. I've written up a few on here and, yes, it is a nice feeling, mocking the stupid, but after enough idiotic examples they all sort of blend together and seem not that funny...

Annnnd then someone puts a rattlesnake in their mouth.

Thanks buddy, you've made me a believer again... The slack-jawed and idiotic are fine subjects to write about.

And really, what girl isn't impressed by a man willing to put a filthy, poison-filled creature into their mouth-hole? Clearly this stunt went awry, but, in a perfect world, what was the outcome he was going for? What's the desired reaction after doing something like this? Instant sex? Awkward silence before a whispered request to "stop that"? What was supposed to happen here? The world may never know.

Look for the non-funny version of this scene, starring Dane Cook as the snake-bit, jerkoff trying to mumble his way through a quickly swelling mouth, next year at theatres everywhere... I would avoid those theatres.

Ahhh... Nothin like chasing some "stupid stuff," with a shot of rattlesnake venom! I call it the "fucktard" and you can find it at the bar outside the theatre I mentioned above.

Wait, how are you so drunk that you forget you're holding a live snake... that is alive?

And you don't immediately notice it when you pick up something else with the same hand?

I picture him running errands, brushing his teeth, petting stray dogs all before finally noticing he's still holding onto a VENEMOUS killing tube.

I'll leave you with this, drunks. Keep in mind, there are many, many non-lethal animals you can insert into your mouth with zero risk other than a possible sternly worded letter from PETA. I say, do it.



TheCoolerKing realizes that Rahodeb briefly touched on this topic earlier, however, he was unwilling to waste the 30 seconds he'd already spent pondering the subject.