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  • THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 13 2007 12:27 AM

Man With 78 Kids Going for 100

Submitted by thefreak

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: sex, polygamy, children, Arab, United Arab Emirates, odd news



If you thought the story of Jim Bob Dugger, his semen trough, uh, wife and their 17 Jesus spawn was extreme, this will blow your fucking mind.

A one-legged Emirati father of 78 is lining up his next two wives in a bid to reach his target of 100 children by 2015, Emirates Today reported on Monday.

Daad Mohammed Murad Abdul Rahman, 60, has already had 15 brides although he has to divorce them as he goes along to remain within the legal limit of four wives at a time.

"In 2015 I will be 68 years old and will have 100 children," the local tabloid quoted Abdul Rahman as saying.

"After that I will stop marrying. I have to have at least three more marriages to hit the century."

The United Arab Emirates newspaper splashed its front page with a picture of Abdul Rahman surrounded by his children, the eldest of whom is 36 years old and the youngest of whom is 20 days old. Two of his current three wives are also pregnant.


Now, in order to help you put this into perspective, I did the calculations and came up with some interesting statistics for when this sexual Tyrannosaurus reaches the century mark:

  • Assuming the children are spread out evenly over a total of 18 wives, each wife will have given birth to 5-6 children over a period of 44 years, with a total average of 2-3 children over the same period.

  • The total time of pregnancy, using the average time frame of 9 months, will be 900 months, or 75 years.

  • Your everyday ejaculation can be anywhere from 1.5 to 5 milliliters (for you non-math conversion types, 1 milliliter = about 1 teaspoon), and a "normal" sperm count is around 70-80 million sperm per milliliter. Assuming each pregnancy takes on the first try, Daab Mohammed will have spilled anywhere from 10.5-40 trillion of his potential children into waiting wombs.


Daab Mohammed, who lost his leg in a road accident, receives a monthly military pension of 24,000 dirham (around $6,500 American). But not even being an amputee can slow this testicular Hercules down.

“After Ramadan, I will go to Jaipur to get an artificial leg and marry a beautiful Rajasthani girl,” he told Emirates Today. “I have had seven Indian brides."


The Emirates Today article gives more insight into the life of the man who puts Mr. Dugger and his cracker factory, uh, wife to shame.

“Even though my family is big, I don’t have any problem managing the budget,” he said. “If I buy fish for the entire family I have to spend a minimum of Dh500 per day. If the menu includes mutton at least Dh1,000 per day is required, and that’s just for the meat.” And despite having so many offspring he does not overlook the vital duty of any dad. He added: “I take care of their requirements – and pay pocket money to each and every child.”


Godspeed, Daad Mohammed Murad Abdul Rahman, you poster child for superhuman virility, you. And be sure to take plenty of Vitamin E.

thefreak took an online quiz today that said he will die while having sex. If it's from having that much sex, he will die a happy man.

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thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

SEP 13, 2007 11:04 AM

StarBelliedBoy said:

thefreak said:
(for you non-math conversion types, 1 milliliter = about 1 teaspoon)


No it isn't. More like 5 mL to a teaspoon. LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE ALSO NOT A MATH CONVERSION TYPE!!!!!LOLZ


Fair enough. Blame the quoted source instead of mocking me, sweetcheeks.

-TM.

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

SEP 13, 2007 11:07 AM

Admiral_Pants said:

thefreak said:
thefreak took an online quiz today that said he will die while having sex.


Scorpio?


Aquarius, actually.

-TM

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

SEP 13, 2007 11:11 AM

SixBoxes said:
I'm surprised that nobody's mentioned that this is over in the UAE, and that our social and cultural norms largely don't apply.

Though it is apparently fun to pretend this is happening in the midwest or something.


As far as I'm concerned, the idea of one person having that many offspring is insane, yes, but he houses and takes care of his kids. There are men out there who still make more than him and run around the country dodging child support for only one, maybe two kids. He's gotta @least be commended in that regard.

-TM

unfiltrator

unfiltrator

San Francisco, CA
April 2004

SEP 13, 2007 11:42 AM

His genes will survive.

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

SEP 13, 2007 12:18 PM

Cerwen said:

luke2917 said:
I'm child 56 out of 100.
I doubt he knows many of their names. Thats just sad.
With that many kids its not like he takes a real active role in parenting, he probably holds the new borns for a few minutes then hands them off to the mother to go have sex with a new bride.
sad. You'd think the state would have offered him a free vasacmety.



He's not in the states...



The state = the government, in this case.

wendigo

wendigo

Houston, TX
March 2005

SEP 13, 2007 01:16 PM

In evolutionary terms, this is the most successful man on the planet!

Nimbusfool

Nimbusfool

Moscow, ID
August 2006

SEP 13, 2007 02:08 PM

dude his name is so appropriate, Daab. Like dad with an extra a and a b instead of a d!

Only fucked up thing I can think of is the fact that the first thing it states, before his name, is he's only got one leg. how rude is that? He will be forever under the shadow of his missing appendage even if he has 78 kids.

can a cock outshine a missing leg? Has this man, found a new appendage to lean upon? Tonight on Oh! cockmaster Daab!

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

SEP 13, 2007 02:15 PM

stop_the_future said:
dude his name is so appropriate, Daab. Like dad with an extra a and a b instead of a d!


Uh, his name is Daad, not Daab. The pun wasn't lost on the Emirates Today article I cited; The headline is "SUPERDAAD!"

Only fucked up thing I can think of is the fact that the first thing it states, before his name, is he's only got one leg. how rude is that? He will be forever under the shadow of his missing appendage even if he has 78 kids.

can a cock outshine a missing leg? Has this man, found a new appendage to lean upon? Tonight on Oh! cockmaster Daab!


Sadly, the "third leg" crack was the one I forgot to make in writing the article.

-TM

swirlyboy

swirlyboy

I'm lost
April 2006

SEP 13, 2007 02:20 PM

That fucker should have been castrated LONG ago.

Mark_plus_Beer

Mark_plus_Beer

United Kingdom
August 2005

SEP 13, 2007 02:33 PM

does he get a prize if he hits 100 ?

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

SEP 13, 2007 03:09 PM

DevilsReject said:
In Russia he would have 78 Refrigerators



bahahahaha

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

SEP 13, 2007 03:21 PM

Mark_plus_Beer said:
does he get a prize if he hits 100 ?


His own sitcom, perhaps?

-TM

meatpieboy

meatpieboy

Korea, D.P.R.
June 2004

SEP 13, 2007 03:31 PM

wendigo said:
In evolutionary terms, this is the most successful man on the planet!



The record for men is over 300. But he had a harem, and I believe he's dead.

For women I believe the record is over 60... which is difficult to think about.

Moribund

Moribund

Atlanta, GA
April 2005

SEP 13, 2007 04:28 PM

After a few centuries he might be able to beat out Ghengis Khan, ancestor to 0.5% of men in the world!

xazapdmytinu

xazapdmytinu

Fort Collins, CO
July 2007

SEP 13, 2007 04:41 PM

I would have thought mention of the preceding article about Russia would have been present within the first page...this guy should get a couple houses and a motorcade of jeeps!

I just hope this guy is REALLY into geneaology...it's got to be hard to keep track of that many half brothers and sisters.

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