- commentary
- WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 5 2007 8:00 PM
Parents Televison Council - If You Were a Person I'd Punch You in the Dick
Submitted by TheCoolerKing
Edited by erin_broadley

The Parents Television Council may be the worst group in existence. I'm including Nazis, jocks and even people who "fist bump" as a greeting.
They are evil, out of control, and shockingly, somehow a group people pay attention to. They rank TV shows according to the amount of sex and violence they contains, so you don't have to bother using your brain. How does one person decide what's morally right for another person, whose values may differ from theirs? Good question. Oh, and they have a close-minded, god-fearing agenda.
A study conducted by the non-profit Parents Television Council found that instances of violence during family-hour broadcast TV had increased by 52.4 percent since it conducted a similar study in 2001, while the amount of sexual content grew by 22.1 percent.
"In the past six years, the family hour has become even more hostile to children and families," the Parents Television Council said.
Poor, poor children. Yes, it's crucial to clean up the "family hour" according to your creepy, axe-grinding mission. It's not like you're some shady group whose form letters make up 99% of the complaints to the FCC. A group who spoon feeds your members easily digestible issues to protest, based on what you've decided in advance is "allowed". Who cares if they ever even bothered to watch the episode? It's for the children right?
Apparently this godless heathen disagrees with them.
TV Watch said the study had used "faulty analysis, biased methodology and suspect omissions as part of an ongoing effort to influence regulators and lawmakers to take family viewing decisions out of the hands of parents and give them to the government."
The executive director of TV Watch, Jim Dyke, said parents had the means to control what their children watched, including the "V-chip" feature built into TV sets that allows them to set controls based upon program ratings.
"Parents need to make the decisions about what's appropriate for their child," Dyke said.
I'm conducting a study on how woefully out of touch the PTC are with the average, brain-possessing human. Forget the whole "evil, right wing monsters" thing, I'm merely citing examples of their antiquated world view. Evidence below.
1) Um, their warning system (a red, yellow, or green light, ranking acceptability), requires it's own warning!
For a more detailed ratings description CLICK HERE.
WARNING! Graphic descriptions are used.
Ghah! What to do! I want to protect my child but, at the risk of risking exposure to graphic language... Even for an adult like me, it may be too risky...
2) Ridiculous? Nope, some idiot complained. Enough idiots to warrant its own FAQ.
Is it necessary for PTC reports to be so graphic? Can't you allude to what is on shows without describing in detail the material you're criticizing?
The PTC regrets the necessity of publishing graphic examples of content from the most offensive prime time shows. Because it would be unfair to criticize programs without knowing the specifics of objectionable dialog and visuals, the PTC must provide members who wish to contact sponsors, the FCC, etc to criticize shows with precise, detailed information.
Yeah, couldn't you allude to it? Like, say, mention briefly, in passing, the part where the guy puts his "thing" into her, ahhh, you know... um, private area... part, region... so to speak- Jesus forgive me!
3) The first test for determining whether something is obscene:
An average person, applying contemporary community standards, must find that the material, as a whole, appeals to the prurient (arousing lustful feelings) interest;
Average? Like, what, 5'9" with an unremarkable build and mediocre intellect? Where does one find "contemporary community standards," a church bulletin board?
If I got "lustful feelings" while reading the above, where and how do I go about citing myself? Also, I've developed a quick, home remedy for manipulating the body in such a way that it instantly rids the body of lustful feelings, is this something that is encouraged. FYI, the kinks haven't been worked out as sometimes it causes me to fall asleep right after.
4) The entire list of GREEN, acceptable shows according to the PTC:
7TH HEAVEN, AMERICAN IDOL THE SEARCH FOR A SUPERSTAR, AMERICAN INVENTOR, ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER, DEAL OR NO DEAL, DOC, DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION, FAST CARS AND SUPERSTARS, ITS A MIRACLE, JUST FOR LAUGHS, LISTEN UP, MIRACLE WORKERS,NATIONAL BINGO NIGHT, POWER OF 10, SET FOR LIFE, SUE THOMAS: F.B.EYE, SUPER NANNY,THE SINGING BEE.
I wouldn't let my kids watch a single one of these fucking shows. The Billy Ray Cyrus show? Singing contests?, The show where Ray Romano hates his wife and kids? No. Meanwhile "Veronica Mars," one of the most responsible, empowering shows ever to tackle issues like rape and teen life, gets a RED LIGHT. Because, context means nothing and teen sex is teen sex.
5) This PTC complaint:
During a cutaway shot to the stadium spectators, the camera focused directly on a woman wearing a t-shirt clearly inscribed with the words "F--k Da Eagles" (without the dashes). The shot stayed focused on the woman and her shirt for several seconds. There can be no doubt that this was an intentional airing of patently offensive language on the public airwaves.
Fucking hilarious. I could see allowing it with both dashes, or even one dash (F-CK), but, NO DASHES?! I change my mind. I will not tolerate anything less than full dash protection.
---- you!
6) As well as this one:
..viewers have been exposed to visual depictions and verbal references to sexual content including partial nudity and pixilated nudity, adultery, oral sex, masturbation, pornography, anal sex, incest, violence, and a plethora of curse words...
Holy fucking shit! "Curse words"??? You just said "curse words"and you didn't fight in the first World War.
Yeah, you should be in charge of everything.
7) Finally, the guy who founded the site, looks like this:

Yeah, I don't trust this shifty looking bastard enough to let him drive a bus load of pedophiles off a cliff, and we're supposed to listen to his opinions on entertainment?
TheCoolerKing didn't bother to proof this and that will probably come back to haunt him.




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Comments
flabajaba2213
Plymouth, MA
July 2006
SEP 05, 2007 08:15 PM
flabajaba2213
Plymouth, MA
July 2006
SEP 05, 2007 08:18 PM
sick
Minneapolis, MN
June 2003
SEP 05, 2007 08:18 PM
Reaver
I'm lost
August 2003
SEP 05, 2007 08:19 PM
xazapdmytinu
Fort Collins, CO
July 2007
SEP 05, 2007 08:27 PM
Johnny_Flapjacks
Williamsport, PA
September 2006
SEP 05, 2007 08:32 PM
GonzoChaote
Vancouver, BC
March 2007
SEP 05, 2007 08:34 PM
stax
Morris Plains, NJ
December 2006
SEP 05, 2007 08:35 PM
Formus
Milwaukee, WI
May 2007
SEP 05, 2007 08:37 PM
DownNeck
Jersey City, NJ
March 2006
SEP 05, 2007 08:37 PM
Alfaduetto
Greeneville, TN
May 2004
SEP 05, 2007 08:54 PM
Crissis
Ecuador
January 2007
SEP 05, 2007 08:58 PM
calang
Mukwonago, WI
October 2006
SEP 05, 2007 09:13 PM
lowroller
Australia
May 2008
SEP 05, 2007 09:17 PM
_DictionaryGirl_
NEWSWIRE
San Diego, CA
SEP 05, 2007 09:17 PM
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