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  • SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 2 2007 4:00 PM

Choice and Class



A pretty good--but not perfect--editorial in the San Francisco Chronicle about choice, class, and the so-called "Mommy Wars":

The debate over whether mothers of young children should . . . opt out, (or) choose to stay home -- reveals its bias: It assumes that all mothers can make a choice that, in actuality, very few mothers are in a position to make.

For most mothers, working full time is not a choice to be weighed against having a family; it's a necessity in order to support a family.
....
It's easy to open a newspaper and get the impression that parenting is a challenge faced only by upper-middle-class people. . . . Should children enroll in science or soccer camp?
....
for low-income mothers, summer brings a different set of challenges: finding a new means of child care now that the days aren't filled with classroom instruction.


As the article points out, this kind of thing is a feminist problem--

The recent obsession with the Mommy Wars and its out-and-out refusal to consider these differences in an area where socioeconomic class makes a huge difference has been puzzling to many feminists. It's 2007. The idea that class matters in, well, matters of class, is not exactly the complex syllogism it once was.

Or perhaps it is. The Mommy Wars' blatant disregard of its impact on lower-income mothers has resulted in something worse than a reversion to second-wave feminism of the 1970s, which favored a simplistic focus on giving women a choice without considering economic and cultural differences.
....
In essence, it's an onslaught of negative third-wave feminism, which assumes everyone has the financial security to make a choice and tells low-income and poor mothers that this doesn't concern them


--but it's a false feminist problem. That is to say, the media portrayal of "women's issues" as exclusively belonging to (mostly) white, upper middle class women is not something that comes from feminists (and no, not even "third-wave" feminists, who are well aware, thankyouverymuch, that class and race matter). It's something that comes from sexism. The only women who "count" are women who have the money and hence the collective power to affect advertisers. Poor women? If we pay attention to them, they're "the poor"--issues specific to women either get ignored or get presented as the results of "poor choices" (interesting use of the word, no?) like having "too many" kids "too young"--which presumably means before landing that six-figure-earning husband. Women of color? Oh, racism no longer exists, didn't you know? Immigrant women? They shouldn't have "chosen" to cross the border illegally.

It's not a coincidence that the overblown hype about the "Mommy Wars" only serves to convince people that feminism is trivial (after all, what's more trivial than being a mommy?), self-involved, and at best a hobby of privileged women. But if you go around and read what self-declared feminists actually write about, you'll find a whole 'nother picture.

The Chronicle's right that the problem is the assumption that "everyone" has enough money to "choose" to do the right thing. An assumption that contains an unstated premise that even those of us who are comfortably middle- to upper-middle class often have bad luck or make "bad choices"--but since we "matter," our choices are cushioned by the ability to refinance, to borrow in emergencies, to take out student loans, to ask mom or dad to help us find a job or loan us a little bit to tide us over, to coast on our husband's or wife's health insurance, to pay for a babysitter, to join a gym, to see a doctor. Even knowing that things like student loans are available is a privilege of the middle class: think about how much of the stuff you know about money and getting by is stuff someone else told you about, or someone you know did before you.

The Chronicle concludes by saying that "The Mommy Wars can be won when we redefine victory." It's not the mommy wars that are the problem though: the real problem is a media-manufactured class privilege that relies on hidden classism, racism, and sexism. The "war" will be won when people start realizing that most people, mommies and parents especially, do their damn best. And that therefore any problem you can generalize about is not simply a matter of "good" or "bad" "choices."

Bitch_PhD passes in public as a soccer mom, and can't decide if that's funny or terrifying.

 

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Comments
Keri

Keri

SUICIDEGIRL

Virginia, USA

SEP 02, 2007 08:55 PM

this is an excellent article. thank you for writing it really.

i was watching oprah one day and they were talking about the choice of mothers to stay home with the kids or have full time jobs.
as a mother i thought....who the fuck has that option? i sure as hell don't. it IS a class issue and it needs to be addressed.

stigmatamartyr13

stigmatamartyr13

Indianapolis, IN
February 2007

SEP 02, 2007 09:38 PM

or, people could do the environmentally responsible thing and STOP FUCKING!!!!!!!!

gcash056

gcash056

Orlando, FL
October 2004

SEP 02, 2007 09:50 PM

You don't HAVE to have kids, ya know...

I'm perfectly happy without a squalling rugrat and I wish a lot more people either didn't have them, or actually spent time teaching their brats class and manners.

evebringer

evebringer

Syracuse, NY
August 2007

SEP 03, 2007 12:03 AM

an interesting article; but not a new idea, or analysis of the situation.
i would discuss whether there is a class war occuring here, but that would be a serious distraction from improving the situation. my complaint with this article and how it was posted has little to do with the language used. my complaint is with the message.

identification of a problem can only ever be the first step. and getting caught up in the first step divides concerned people who care about the issue. what is much more important is working together and separately to create solutions.

there is no doubt that the more privilege a person has, the more possibilities that are available to them. i am no anthropologist, but i can think of no civilization that has not had this feature.

what i am is an american politician. i think in terms of policies, amendments of law, and campaigns. and honestly, the tools exist to create the opportunity for real choice on the US state level already. (and the beautiful thing about state governments is their close ties to a much smaller constituency) state run low to no cost insurance programs exist in almost every state through federal funds, padded with state funds. although the federal government is much to conservative to allow federal dollars to fund abortions and other, more economical forms of contraception, states can fund such expansions.

so if your concerned about giving poor women a choice, write your state legislators. run for state legislator. join your local planned parenthood committees. just don't fall into the same trap american leftists have succumb to for over two hundred years, and debate endlessly over symantics. its a big, massive waste of time that serves only to divide people with similar concerns.

PatrickY

PatrickY

Vancouver, WA
December 2003

SEP 03, 2007 02:16 AM

stigmatamartyr13 said:
or, people could do the environmentally responsible thing and STOP FUCKING!!!!!!!!



You say, as you post on a site which makes its profits exploiting humanity's hardwired sexuality.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

SEP 03, 2007 02:29 AM

Worthwhile article.

But the overwhelming air of patented Dr Bitch smugness still sticks in my craw.

Here's the good doctor, up above, going "Nope. Not our fault. Not ever."

Bitch_PhD said:
That is to say, the media portrayal of "women's issues" as exclusively belonging to (mostly) white, upper middle class women is not something that comes from feminists (and no, not even "third-wave" feminists, who are well aware, thankyouverymuch, that class and race matter).



And here's the good doctor talking about privileged book-learnin' college-edjumacated feminism. (In the glory days of the Why Gender Matters thread, right at the end.)

Shalome said:

apesamongus said:

Shalome said:

Bitch_PhD said:
Most serious feminist writing does not talk down to women. C'mon, guys, you're really making mountains out of very small molehills here.



Most women have no experience with "serious" feminist writing.


Most "serious feminist writing" is very dry, academic, and jargon-laden, making it as inaccessible to most women as any anthropology or sociology textbooks would be.



I am aware of this, having some experience with serious feminist writing myself. wink I personally don't find it inaccessible (rather dull, yes, but not inaccessible). I can certainly see how the vast majority of people would find it so.



Bitch_PhD said:
Well, again, at some point people simply have to do their homework instead of looking for excuses not to.


Remember, folks, to be a real official Certified Practising Feminist, do your homework, eat your greens, and get that Women's Studies Degree. Then you too can pontificate about how inclusive you really are.

whatever

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

SEP 03, 2007 02:33 AM

PatrickY said:

stigmatamartyr13 said:
or, people could do the environmentally responsible thing and STOP FUCKING!!!!!!!!



You say, as you post on a site which makes its profits exploiting humanity's hardwired sexuality.



Seriously hilarious. It's like saying "Be environmentally responsible! Stop exhaling carbon dioxide!"

Bill_the_Cat

Bill_the_Cat

Vanier, ON
May 2005

SEP 03, 2007 02:53 AM

TheFuckOffKid said:

PatrickY said:

stigmatamartyr13 said:
or, people could do the environmentally responsible thing and STOP FUCKING!!!!!!!!



You say, as you post on a site which makes its profits exploiting humanity's hardwired sexuality.



Seriously hilarious. It's like saying "Be environmentally responsible! Stop exhaling carbon dioxide!"




Have your read this, or is that comment just a coincidence?

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

SEP 03, 2007 03:05 AM

Coincidence. Should I read it?

Bill_the_Cat

Bill_the_Cat

Vanier, ON
May 2005

SEP 03, 2007 03:30 AM

TheFuckOffKid said:
Coincidence. Should I read it?



Yes. Before Bloom County and Doonesbury there was Pogo. Walt Kelly may have been the greatest sunday cartoonist of all time.

nice_pun_bro

nice_pun_bro

Irvine, CA
January 2007

SEP 03, 2007 04:00 AM

mattacme said:
1. The so called class war that we are witnessing is quite similar to others before it in the Capitalist age, in which the cult of money is dominant. The French Revolution, our own War of Independence, the labor movement that began in the late nineteenth century; these are all manifestations of the struggle that builds when one group has something that the other want and need. It is coming clearer at present because the consolidation of wealth is still in full swing, and will continue for the next half generation at least.



I'm sorry, but this sounds ridiculous. Especially considering that the major European powers of the time had mercantilist economies, Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations was published in 1776, the steam locomotive wasn't built until the consummation of the two revolutions, and paper money wasn't dominant in the United States until well after the ratification of the Constitution. Sounds intelligent, though...

It also sounds like the same Leftist "soon the proletariat will be SOOOOOOOO pissed they'll rise up and destroy the instruments of their enslavement!" boiler-plate that has been repeated since Marx.

The original article, in my opinion, really shows the importance of adopting an intersectional analysis rather than strictly a gender, race, or class analysis.

Mankarlen

Mankarlen

Columbia City, OR
June 2006

SEP 03, 2007 06:59 AM

The sad thing is this is just reflecting society as a whole. The one that is get rich and then you are worthy of children. Low income families we may have to support so they do not have the right to have children. this is not a race issue, white black red all have low income workers. This country would fall apart without us. Who woudl do the things without us that are required that keep our society togather. From the garbage man truck driver or housekeepers waitresses, to the farm workers all who have the desire and the right to have children. To me this a societal problem that needs to be adddressed.

Tiger_Fodder

Tiger_Fodder

Braintree, MA
June 2007

SEP 03, 2007 09:13 AM

Americans like to believe there are no class differences in our country. Most Americans will tell you they are middle-class. Anyone is said to be able to move up in class with hard work. While there is a little bit of truth to that in comparison to other countries, reality is that it is not as easy as that. The whole "mommy wars" is based on the idea that women or parents in general have a choice. Most do not no matter which middle-class you are on.

mattacme

mattacme

Calistoga, CA
February 2006

SEP 03, 2007 11:35 AM

j1mdot said:

mattacme said:
1. The so called class war that we are witnessing is quite similar to others before it in the Capitalist age, in which the cult of money is dominant. The French Revolution, our own War of Independence, the labor movement that began in the late nineteenth century; these are all manifestations of the struggle that builds when one group has something that the other want and need. It is coming clearer at present because the consolidation of wealth is still in full swing, and will continue for the next half generation at least.



I'm sorry, but this sounds ridiculous. Especially considering that the major European powers of the time had mercantilist economies, Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations was published in 1776, the steam locomotive wasn't built until the consummation of the two revolutions, and paper money wasn't dominant in the United States until well after the ratification of the Constitution. Sounds intelligent, though...

It also sounds like the same Leftist "soon the proletariat will be SOOOOOOOO pissed they'll rise up and destroy the instruments of their enslavement!" boiler-plate that has been repeated since Marx.

The original article, in my opinion, really shows the importance of adopting an intersectional analysis rather than strictly a gender, race, or class analysis.




Sorry it sounds ridiculous. It seems obvious to me. I don't understand what your references have to do with anything I said. Please explain.

As for the "Leftist" reference, that would be one form (of potentially many) that a shift in power could take but as a rule I would suggest that it would be exceptional and only likely if the separation of haves/have nots rose to the heights they did in pre revolution Russia. I certainly hope that this does not come to pass.

Just to pigeon hole myself for your easy digestion, I am a New Deal Democrat.

LostLucy

LostLucy

USA
December 2006

SEP 03, 2007 02:49 PM

This is a good article, and one of the issues often overlooked in terms of women & choices in the workforce.

I'd like to point out that at times middle-class more priviedged women *and* men also find that they are stay at-home caregivers (mothers or fathers) due to the cost of a caregiver being higher than what they can earn themselves (with the PhD in the humanities, etc).

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