• news
  • SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 1 2007 4:00 PM

The Ghetto Handbook: Another Great Example of Police Stupidity



Police make me nervous. They always have. Unlike a lot of my friends, who claim that seeing a police officer makes them "feel safe," catching sight of the fuzz makes my palms sweat and my heart race. It doesn't matter if I'm driving or on foot--I've got full-fledged po-po-paranoia. Stories like this just add fuel to my heat-hating fire.

A crude "ghetto handbook" distributed to police patrolling Houston's public schools has resulted in the suspension of one officer.

The booklet, which was given to about 20 cops, is subtitled "Wucha dun did now?," and purports to help the reader "learn to speak ebonics as if you just came out of the hood...because you could find you self with a problem one day and ebonics could save your life."

Originally distributed by some brainiac cop in May, it took a whopping three months for the genius district officials to find out about the handbook and investigate. So far, officials haven't identified the Good ol' boy who created and distributed the guide, but he's been ordered to go to diversity training. I'm sure he'll emerge the picture of worldly compassion.

Perhaps the saddest part is what the handbook covers. I mean, really--what "foo" doesn't know what "bling" is? Any cop that needs a handbook to give him the "411" on the "hood" needs to have his badge "ganked." Like, now.



You cops are a bigger joke than, well...than this:

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3

Next

Comments
gutterman

gutterman

Austin, TX
August 2003

SEP 01, 2007 04:28 PM

ganster: (gann-sterr) n. See "gangster"

CherryCoke

CherryCoke

Derry, NH
May 2007

SEP 01, 2007 04:35 PM

I've disliked cops since my brother got the shit beat out of him and arrested for something he didn't do, and yet he still got some jail time and probation for "resisting arrest"

It kind of makes me feel bad for the cops who are doing the right thing and trying to keep us safe.

katie_

katie_

Nashua, NH
January 2003

SEP 01, 2007 04:37 PM

Ghetto Handbook @ The Smoking Gun
I learned something! I did not know that "cigarettes is bones" or "jacks is pay phones." Or that "aight" is a verb (not really buying that one, actually.) Really, though- any cop who needed this handbook to find out that "bail" is "money to get out of jail" needs his or her badge "ganked" indeed. surreal

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

SEP 01, 2007 04:40 PM

CherryCoke said:
I've disliked cops since my brother got the shit beat out of him and arrested for something he didn't do, and yet he still got some jail time and probation for "resisting arrest"



I've disliked Mexicans ever since one stole my CD player.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

SEP 01, 2007 04:42 PM

Cigarette said:

CherryCoke said:
I've disliked cops since my brother got the shit beat out of him and arrested for something he didn't do, and yet he still got some jail time and probation for "resisting arrest"


I've disliked Mexicans ever since one beat up my cousin.


I've disliked your cousin ever since I found out even Mexicans hate him.

EDIT: ACK, you changed your post!

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

SEP 01, 2007 04:51 PM

TheGringo said:

Cigarette said:

CherryCoke said:
I've disliked cops since my brother got the shit beat out of him and arrested for something he didn't do, and yet he still got some jail time and probation for "resisting arrest"


I've disliked Mexicans ever since one beat up my cousin.


I've disliked your cousin ever since I found out even Mexicans hate him.

EDIT: ACK, you changed your post!



I have a hidden camera pointed at you so that when you quote me, I can go change my post and make you look foolish.


AND IT WORKED!!!

CourtneyKills

CourtneyKills

Keyport, NJ
March 2004

SEP 01, 2007 04:52 PM

you are a true dipshit.! you are just another asshole who automaticly assumes that all cops are unintelligent, crooked and racist. yet im sure that you wouldn't hesitate in calling them if you were in need. one cops bad judgement shouldnt incriminate all of them. the cop who wrote this may just be uninformed, and not quite as schooled on pop culture and the slang that comes with it these days. maybe this was just meant to be funny to that cop and a group of his co-workers. im sure that YOU have NEVER made jokes that werent p.c. right?

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

SEP 01, 2007 04:59 PM

Well, CourtneyKills, this isn't the first time this particular author written an SG piece that was ill-thought.

Oh, and regarding:

Perhaps the saddest part is what the handbook covers. I mean, really--what "foo" doesn't know what "bling" is? Any cop that needs a handbook to give him the "411" on the "hood" needs to have his badge "ganked." Like, now.


Cops now come in both male and female versions.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

SEP 01, 2007 05:10 PM

Any cop who doesn't know expressions like "Holla at my peeps" hasn't watched enough Scrubs and does not deserve to be in the police force.

Callahan

Callahan

Seattle, WA
February 2005

SEP 01, 2007 05:20 PM

People hate cops because of the way they carry themselves. Some towns they're nice people. Some towns, being a prick is part of the professional culture. We all know which local towns have asshole cops.

Drakyn

Drakyn

New Providence, NJ
September 2006

SEP 01, 2007 05:29 PM

Ebonics was once taught as a foreign language in California Public Schools.

..... Yeah

xazapdmytinu

xazapdmytinu

Fort Collins, CO
July 2007

SEP 01, 2007 05:38 PM

Drakyn said:
Ebonics was once taught as a foreign language in California Public Schools.

..... Yeah



Yeah...it was a pre-req for African Studies at UCLA.

I'm not so much afraid of cops who have this handbook as I am curious whether it was distributed as a gag (a terribly distasteful one) or if it really was something someone felt was necesarry.

Furthermore, what awful crimes could have been solved instead while this jackass wasted his time writing it?

redconsensus

redconsensus

Baltimore, MD
August 2004

SEP 01, 2007 05:38 PM

I'm sure the self identified cop hating authorwill not hesitate to call the 'po-po' whenever her safety or property is threatened.

Uncle_Screwtape

Uncle_Screwtape

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

SEP 01, 2007 05:49 PM

redconsensus said:
I'm sure the self identified cop hating authorwill not hesitate to call the 'po-po' whenever her safety or property is threatened.



Maybe he doesn't hate, excactly, so much as he just feels like this:

teddy__kgb

teddy__kgb

Albuquerque, NM
February 2007

SEP 01, 2007 05:51 PM

redconsensus said:
I'm sure the self identified cop hating authorwill not hesitate to call the 'po-po' whenever her safety or property is threatened.



yeah. furthermore, the man has obviously posed such a threat to his white-suburban existence. lmao. wow, this isnt news yet, and it isnt smart yet. put it back in the oven, its not done.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3

Next