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  • FRIDAY AUGUST 17 2007 12:00 PM

Chris Gore's Footage Fetishes: 2007 Summer Movie Scorecard

The major summer movies have come and gone, so it’s a good time to evaluate how this summer stacks up in terms of the winners and losers. Every year the industry predicts doom, and then the summer box-office breaks last year’s record. This year will be no different. Here’s a quick checklist of what we’ve learned from the summer movie season 2007 – the surprises, the biggest, the best, the worst, and more… according to me anyway.


Biggest Box-office Winner
Spider-Man 3
Ranking currently at number 15 on the all-time U.S. box-office list with $336 million dollars in ticket sales, the only thing people are wondering about is if there’s a fourth in the works… and who might star in it.

Biggest Box-office Loser
Stardust
At a cost of over $100 million, this well-reviewed Neil Gaiman-written fairy tale with a stellar cast made a paltry $9 million in its debut weekend. It seems audiences are just not in the mood for a Princess Bride-style adventure. As you wish.


Biggest Disappointment
Evan Almighty
Okay, no one was looking forward to a sequel to Bruce Almighty wrapped up neatly in a modern telling of Noah’s Ark story… but Steve Carell is hot! Well, er, he was.

Surprise Hit
Knocked Up
Vulgar and sweetness should be trademark of Judd Apatow and his gang of merry men. Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl are now the proud parents of a sub-genre of romantic comedy that delivers gross-out laughs with a heart.

Surprisingly Good
Transformers
The word was that director Michael Bay was just going to disappoint the hardcore fans who watched the original cartoon and played with Transformers toys as kids. That disappeared after the first screening when Bay delivered probably his best film yet. So, will we see Micronauts next?


Surprise Failure
Sicko
Michael Moore’s 2004 documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 made $119 million at the U.S. box-office and quickly became the highest-grossing doc in film history. Sicko has yielded a respectable $23 million in ticket sales so far, but has yet to really engage the public in a debate about health care. Too bad as the film is perhaps his best yet.

Best Sequel
The Bourne Ultimatum
All Matt Damon has to do is talk fast into a cell phone and run, run, run away as the camera shakes in an attempt to keep up… and it’s ends up being a thrill ride that is intense as hell. Do that again for us, will you?

Worst Sequel
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
So, the story of the coming of Galactus ends in a cloud. Really? A cloud. That’s all you got? Did they not read the comic book? Lose the slapstick and reboot this series with an indie filmmaker who can get to the deeper layers of Marvel’s super-family.


Bright New Star
Seth Rogan
Who knew that “schlumpy” was the new “sexy”? Thank you Seth Rogan.

Falling Star
Bruce Willis
Live Free or Die Hard is clearly the second best in the Die Hard series, but failed to live up to expectations. Something not to miss when it comes to DVD.

Why did they even make this film? (Or, I can’t believe this movie was so bad!)
It's a 12-way tie!

Daddy Day Camp and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and I Know Who Killed Me and Hot Rod and License to Wed and Becoming Jane and Nancy Drew and Who’s Your Caddy? and No Reservations and Underdog and Rush Hour 3 and Bratz
There clearly was not a shortage of bad movies this summer… and in six months, landfills across America will be filled with DVDs bearing their names. In fact, I’d be surprised if you even remembered that half these films were released over the summer.


Tracy Turnblad wishes every day were Negro day... one day her wish may come true.

Summer 2007’s Best Film
Hairspray
This is the only summer movie that not only lives up to, but surpasses the hype. Hairspray delivers a much-needed wake up call with messages about not only about racism, but people with different body types. Nicole Blonsky as the new Tracy Turnblad is just plain hot.

Gore gone.

Chris_Gore spent his summer indoors watching movies and remains proud of his "indoor kid" heritage.

 

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Comments
Polygirlaz

Polygirlaz

USA
May 2004

AUG 17, 2007 06:50 PM

Sadly the days where an imagination is needed in seeing a movie are gone. I myself
saw Stardust and was amazed at just how good a story it was. Horay for the imagination , We need more movies of this nature and not just mindless fluff.
Kisses Cheri

Rapid_Fire

Rapid_Fire

Saskatoon, SK
July 2007

AUG 17, 2007 07:23 PM

I wanted to go see Stardust, but my friend wanted to see The Bourne Ultimatum, so we saw that. I wasn't disappointed, but I'll have to try and see Stardust before it disappears from theaters.

Lemonkid

Lemonkid

Canada
May 2003

AUG 17, 2007 08:24 PM

Stardust was the best of the movies mentioned and I was surprised the Bourne Ultimatum didn't suck.. although I haven't seen the first two.

cowboybert

cowboybert

West Palm Beach, FL
September 2006

AUG 17, 2007 08:44 PM

I am a huge Neil Gaiman fan. I loved Mirrormask. But looking at the poster and promos, I'm afraid it might make me gay to go.

Skywisdom

Skywisdom

Portland, OR
December 2005

AUG 17, 2007 11:50 PM

I did see Stardust! And it WAS awesome! And now I'm reading the book, and it is fabulous. I got the edition with the pictures, course.
Hot Rod was awesome.

Martini

Martini

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

AUG 18, 2007 06:40 AM

Chris_Gore said:


Biggest Box-office Loser
Stardust
At a cost of over $100 million, this well-reviewed Neil Gaiman-written fairy tale with a stellar cast made a paltry $9 million in its debut weekend. It seems audiences are just not in the mood for a Princess Bride-style adventure. As you wish.



i agree. the book was AMAZING. the movie? not so much...
i hate how much violence and keys to the plot were removed to make it family safe. puke

EDITED TO ADD: everyone who liked the stardust movie obviously didn't read the book first. and if they did? they are sell-outs. tongue

xo

WADO

WADO

Brooklyn, NY
March 2006

AUG 18, 2007 09:02 AM

Seth Rogan is my new god, and has been since he gave us "Cal".

DCH5

DCH5

Novato, CA
October 2004

AUG 18, 2007 11:47 AM

Chris_Gore said:
Yeah, I like that the characters in FF work, but there were serious moments in the comic since all the situations they were in, the fate of the world, were taken seriously. It's a bit too lighthearted for me. Also, leaving out the character of Galactus is just a crime.



I will definitely agree with the Galactus choice. Maybe they'll make up for it with the Surfer movie.

XamaX_is_Dead

XamaX_is_Dead

La Mesa, CA
March 2007

AUG 18, 2007 12:26 PM

Martini said:

Chris_Gore said:


Biggest Box-office Loser
Stardust
At a cost of over $100 million, this well-reviewed Neil Gaiman-written fairy tale with a stellar cast made a paltry $9 million in its debut weekend. It seems audiences are just not in the mood for a Princess Bride-style adventure. As you wish.



i agree. the book was AMAZING. the movie? not so much...
i hate how much violence and keys to the plot were removed to make it family safe. puke

EDITED TO ADD: everyone who liked the stardust movie obviously didn't read the book first. and if they did? they are sell-outs. tongue

xo




I haven't read the book but even if i did the movie is still good. It's like the Harry Potter movies (which i noticed the Order of the Pheonix wasn't mentioned) they took out a bunch of stuff, played down certain key scenes, etc. to make it family friendly and no it wasn't as good as the book, but it was a good movie. i mean people liked the Bourne Ultimatum as well and that was based on a book and i am sure as hell they cut a crap ton of stuff out of that. Robert Lunldum novels are way to action packed for any movie to get it all in without going over 3 hours. i guess what i am trying to say is you have to view books and movies as seperate entities, similar yes, but different, and the list of examples goes on and on and on. anyways, that's what i do.

Martini

Martini

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

AUG 18, 2007 02:17 PM

XamaX_is_Dead said:

Martini said:

Chris_Gore said:


Biggest Box-office Loser
Stardust
At a cost of over $100 million, this well-reviewed Neil Gaiman-written fairy tale with a stellar cast made a paltry $9 million in its debut weekend. It seems audiences are just not in the mood for a Princess Bride-style adventure. As you wish.



i agree. the book was AMAZING. the movie? not so much...
i hate how much violence and keys to the plot were removed to make it family safe. puke

EDITED TO ADD: everyone who liked the stardust movie obviously didn't read the book first. and if they did? they are sell-outs. tongue

xo




I haven't read the book but even if i did the movie is still good. It's like the Harry Potter movies (which i noticed the Order of the Pheonix wasn't mentioned) they took out a bunch of stuff, played down certain key scenes, etc. to make it family friendly and no it wasn't as good as the book, but it was a good movie. i mean people liked the Bourne Ultimatum as well and that was based on a book and i am sure as hell they cut a crap ton of stuff out of that. Robert Lunldum novels are way to action packed for any movie to get it all in without going over 3 hours. i guess what i am trying to say is you have to view books and movies as seperate entities, similar yes, but different, and the list of examples goes on and on and on. anyways, that's what i do.



hence why i love books more than movies.


xo

Black_toad

Black_toad

Los Angeles, CA
November 2006

AUG 29, 2007 04:18 AM

Superbad is the best of the Summer hands down. But Hairspray? Water's sells out to Travolta???!!??? Okay - remake Grease as the Brokeback version with two male leads and a cgi Frenchie like Jar Jar character voiced by a cast member of The Hills.

Black_toad

Black_toad

Los Angeles, CA
November 2006

AUG 29, 2007 04:20 AM

P.S. "Hi my name is McLovin and I would like to purchase some" < WHASMACKA>

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