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  • FRIDAY AUGUST 17 2007 12:00 PM

Chris Gore's Footage Fetishes: 2007 Summer Movie Scorecard

The major summer movies have come and gone, so it’s a good time to evaluate how this summer stacks up in terms of the winners and losers. Every year the industry predicts doom, and then the summer box-office breaks last year’s record. This year will be no different. Here’s a quick checklist of what we’ve learned from the summer movie season 2007 – the surprises, the biggest, the best, the worst, and more… according to me anyway.


Biggest Box-office Winner
Spider-Man 3
Ranking currently at number 15 on the all-time U.S. box-office list with $336 million dollars in ticket sales, the only thing people are wondering about is if there’s a fourth in the works… and who might star in it.

Biggest Box-office Loser
Stardust
At a cost of over $100 million, this well-reviewed Neil Gaiman-written fairy tale with a stellar cast made a paltry $9 million in its debut weekend. It seems audiences are just not in the mood for a Princess Bride-style adventure. As you wish.


Biggest Disappointment
Evan Almighty
Okay, no one was looking forward to a sequel to Bruce Almighty wrapped up neatly in a modern telling of Noah’s Ark story… but Steve Carell is hot! Well, er, he was.

Surprise Hit
Knocked Up
Vulgar and sweetness should be trademark of Judd Apatow and his gang of merry men. Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl are now the proud parents of a sub-genre of romantic comedy that delivers gross-out laughs with a heart.

Surprisingly Good
Transformers
The word was that director Michael Bay was just going to disappoint the hardcore fans who watched the original cartoon and played with Transformers toys as kids. That disappeared after the first screening when Bay delivered probably his best film yet. So, will we see Micronauts next?


Surprise Failure
Sicko
Michael Moore’s 2004 documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 made $119 million at the U.S. box-office and quickly became the highest-grossing doc in film history. Sicko has yielded a respectable $23 million in ticket sales so far, but has yet to really engage the public in a debate about health care. Too bad as the film is perhaps his best yet.

Best Sequel
The Bourne Ultimatum
All Matt Damon has to do is talk fast into a cell phone and run, run, run away as the camera shakes in an attempt to keep up… and it’s ends up being a thrill ride that is intense as hell. Do that again for us, will you?

Worst Sequel
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
So, the story of the coming of Galactus ends in a cloud. Really? A cloud. That’s all you got? Did they not read the comic book? Lose the slapstick and reboot this series with an indie filmmaker who can get to the deeper layers of Marvel’s super-family.


Bright New Star
Seth Rogan
Who knew that “schlumpy” was the new “sexy”? Thank you Seth Rogan.

Falling Star
Bruce Willis
Live Free or Die Hard is clearly the second best in the Die Hard series, but failed to live up to expectations. Something not to miss when it comes to DVD.

Why did they even make this film? (Or, I can’t believe this movie was so bad!)
It's a 12-way tie!

Daddy Day Camp and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and I Know Who Killed Me and Hot Rod and License to Wed and Becoming Jane and Nancy Drew and Who’s Your Caddy? and No Reservations and Underdog and Rush Hour 3 and Bratz
There clearly was not a shortage of bad movies this summer… and in six months, landfills across America will be filled with DVDs bearing their names. In fact, I’d be surprised if you even remembered that half these films were released over the summer.


Tracy Turnblad wishes every day were Negro day... one day her wish may come true.

Summer 2007’s Best Film
Hairspray
This is the only summer movie that not only lives up to, but surpasses the hype. Hairspray delivers a much-needed wake up call with messages about not only about racism, but people with different body types. Nicole Blonsky as the new Tracy Turnblad is just plain hot.

Gore gone.

Chris_Gore spent his summer indoors watching movies and remains proud of his "indoor kid" heritage.

 

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Comments
Mockingbird

Mockingbird

Chicago, IL
January 2006

AUG 17, 2007 12:13 PM

I'm seeing Stardust tomorrow. Screw popular opinion!

Gesomina

Gesomina

Detroit, MI
January 2006

AUG 17, 2007 12:21 PM

Oh my I took my nieces and nephew to see Bratz.... Fucking horrible, and I am a sucker for cheesy kids movies but that movie was garbage! Can you believe I seen that and I havent even seen The Bourne Ultimatum yet!! I cant wait!

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

AUG 17, 2007 12:33 PM

Did you actually see Underdog? Cause it wasn't so bad.

Gillionaire

Gillionaire

Manchester, NH
February 2007

AUG 17, 2007 01:43 PM

I thought Hot Rod was really funny. But I've always really liked the Lonely Island guys and their really silly comedy.

Chris_Gore

Chris_Gore

Los Angeles, CA
September 2005

AUG 17, 2007 01:46 PM

I think Andy Samberg just deserves a better vehicle (no pun intended) for his film debut.

JekyllAndHyde

JekyllAndHyde

Austin, TX
April 2005

AUG 17, 2007 02:02 PM

Mockingbird said:
I'm seeing Stardust tomorrow. Screw popular opinion!



Amen to that. How can one not like Neil Gaiman?

Mrs_Misha

Mrs_Misha

Los Angeles, CA
September 2003

AUG 17, 2007 02:28 PM


I will be seeing Stardust, I think it will be an overall success, just not a fist weekend blockbuster.

I hate that they judge a movies success on opening weekend. I NEVER see a movie on opening weekend and usually I wait till it's almost gone cause I can't stand the fact that there are other people in the theater with me. I love the big screen and the surround sound but assholes who don't turn their phones off or worse those who act like they are in their living room and comment on the film the entire time. Most of the time I see movies at home instead, I just need a bigger TV.

DCH5

DCH5

Novato, CA
October 2004

AUG 17, 2007 02:49 PM

You know what I like about Fantastic Four? It's not all heavy and brooding and filled with self importance. Leave that to the Bat. FF is goofy and silly and ridiculous. Was it great? By no means, but it is a different kind of comic book film than all the other pouty spider boys out there. And did you read FF? It ain't all that layered to begin with.

Chris_Gore

Chris_Gore

Los Angeles, CA
September 2005

AUG 17, 2007 03:01 PM

Yeah, I like that the characters in FF work, but there were serious moments in the comic since all the situations they were in, the fate of the world, were taken seriously. It's a bit too lighthearted for me. Also, leaving out the character of Galactus is just a crime.

formerviking

formerviking

Denver, PA
May 2006

AUG 17, 2007 03:11 PM

No mention of the Simpson's movie ?

ckdexterhaven

ckdexterhaven

USA
December 2005

AUG 17, 2007 04:19 PM

Chris_Gore said:
Stardust
At a cost of over $100 million, this well-reviewed Neil Gaiman-written fairy tale with a stellar cast made a paltry $9 million in its debut weekend.


Wow. Someone should die for that.

xazapdmytinu

xazapdmytinu

Fort Collins, CO
July 2007

AUG 17, 2007 04:42 PM

Mockingbird said:
I'm seeing Stardust tomorrow. Screw popular opinion!



here here! I'm going tonight if I have to go by myself!

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

AUG 17, 2007 04:55 PM

a.) Seth Rogan is god, and yes schlumpy boys are hella sexy.

b.) Hot Rod was brilliant! (Though as far as August movies go, I expect Superbad to blow it out of the water.)

Vanessa

Vanessa

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

AUG 17, 2007 05:24 PM

I thought Stardust was amazing.

voyeurs

voyeurs

Los Angeles, CA
December 2003

AUG 17, 2007 06:22 PM

It's funny that EVAN ALMIGHTY is considered this summer's biggest disappointment. I know the studio spent WAY too much money on it. But when nobody was looking - it quietly stashed away $100 million at the domestic box office. That seems great for a Steve Carell movie. He should be celebrating a milestone - instead he's taking hits for toplining a movie that "didn't work"...

[note: this isn't a comment against Chris' analysis. EA would have needed to break all records for a live action comedy in order to be profitable.]

[another note: I did not, nor do I care to see this movie. It looks terrible.]

[final note: I'm a huge Steve Carell fan. Just want to see the guy get his due.]

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