Yeah, I know... Not the most exciting or noteworthy story. In fact, I think legally, the media has to write stories like this, regardless of how uninteresting they may be. Fattest man, pig that can curse, monkey-shot putter, etc...

Quick sidebar. He's a veterinarian! Picture the look of pure terror on every animal's face as Leonid's giant banana-fingers reach for them. Yeah.

As boring as the story seemed, I kept thinking about it. Specifically, I kept thinking about the victim of the story... the old world's tallest man.

Did he enjoy his reign? Was it a curse? A blessing? Who knows...

If he hated it, he was sorta out of luck It's not like he can wait for someone to "break" the record. Or to use artificial enhancements to get there. No one just sprouts an extra 16 inches and laps him. He's gotta wait for them to find someone. Painstakingly searching the globe, finding and dismissing God knows how many bigfoots, in their search for the next titan. Well, they found him. Now what?

To go from, every day of your life, hearing from friend and stranger alike, "Hey! It's the world's tallest man," right to "Uhh, hey Bao... going for a walk, huh?"

That can't be awesome.

'Cause he's not getting the title back. Not unless he pulls one of those Hollywood box office-record tricks. Best August opening ever! ...of a movie that's not a sequel... or based on an adaptation of a medical brochure. Right?

He could be the world's tallest man... with a creepy wink! ...With a knock-knock joke for any occasion! world's tallest man... you don't wanna be left alone with!

Or maybe just, world's biggest racist... Literally!

Anyway, congrats Leonid Stadnyk! I'm not sure what duties or problems you will inherit from the old title-holder... But I think it would be hysterical if, at every interview and public event from this point forward, you were to, "refuse to talk about the 'height' thing."



TheCoolerKing concedes that, if this story were any more lightweight they'd make mountain bikes out of it.