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  • SATURDAY AUGUST 4 2007 4:00 PM

The Rime of the Modern Mariner: Sublime or Substandard?

Submitted by Rahodeb

Edited by Rahodeb

Tags: Duke Riley, Submarine, New York



By now you've all probably heard about Duke Riley, the self-proclaimed "artist and patriot" who was arrested Friday for floating his replica of a Revolutionary War-era submarine in restricted New York waters near the Queen Mary 2. The Village Voice correctly identified it as hipster-shenanigans almost immediately.

Some times the news in New York City is just so astounding that you don't know what to make of it. The details of this one should be interesting. The cops are saying it wasn't terrorism. Our money is on hipsters.

Apparently Riley was attempting to get videotape of his "Turtle" sub against the QM2 for one of his upcoming shows.

Riley—co-founder and tattooist at Brooklyn's Cherry Bomb Tattoo—is getting a lot of shit for the project, with various newspaper headlines calling him a "Sub Moron" and claiming that he has "Sub-Standard Brains."

On the morning after his arrest in New York Harbor, the skipper of a ramshackle replica of a Revolutionary War-era, wooden hulled submarine found himself splashed across the city's front pages Saturday in less than flattering terms.

"SUB MORON," declared the New York Post. Not to be outdone, the Daily News announced: "SUB-STANDARD BRAINS."

Seeing as how this is the best the writers at these papers can come up with, it makes sense that they lack an appreciation for creativity and adventurousness. I'm not saying that Riley, 35-year-old graduate of the Rhode Island School of Design and Pratt Institute, and his crew couldn't have improved upon their plan—just get a freakin' permit, dude—but the condemnation and derision Riley has been treated with is totally uncalled for.

At least the voices of reason over at Wonkette appreciated the stunt.

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Comments
SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

AUG 04, 2007 04:13 PM

Funny smile

reprobate

reprobate

New Orleans, LA
December 2002

AUG 04, 2007 04:25 PM

1. Dude built a submarine.

2. Dude built a submarine.

3. Hipsters don't build fucking submarines.

Drive up rents because mommy and daddy "help out", sure. Ruin bars by driving out the real people who make them interesting, likewise. Popularize retro retread bands as "original" because of not having heard of Magazine or Japan or even Roxy Music, of course. Submarines? There is no such thing as a hipster submarine.

gcash056

gcash056

Orlando, FL
October 2004

AUG 04, 2007 05:02 PM

> just get a freakin' permit, dude

Right-o. And just how do you get a permit for floating your home-made replica submarine in restricted waters next to the QM2?

Which form is that? And DHS isn't going to flip a shit anyway?

Where's my big "NO" stamp? Let me go borrow one from David Spade over at Capital One.

punk

punk

Phoenix, AZ
January 2004

AUG 04, 2007 05:57 PM

I hate poor news headline puns about as much as I hate Nazis.

"SUB-STANDARD BRAINS." The writer should be shot.

punk

punk

Phoenix, AZ
January 2004

AUG 04, 2007 05:59 PM

reprobate said:
1. Dude built a submarine.

2. Dude built a submarine.

3. Hipsters don't build fucking submarines.

Drive up rents because mommy and daddy "help out", sure. Ruin bars by driving out the real people who make them interesting, likewise. Popularize retro retread bands as "original" because of not having heard of Magazine or Japan or even Roxy Music, of course. Submarines? There is no such thing as a hipster submarine.



Dude, a Revolutionary war era submarine is totally retro.

Reaver

Reaver

I'm lost
August 2003

AUG 04, 2007 06:44 PM

I call sheenigans! Wooden Submarines are Awesome!

And I find New York Papers substandard.

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

AUG 04, 2007 06:51 PM

RI School of Design graduate?

yep, hipster.

Stiles

Stiles

Miami Beach, FL
November 2002

AUG 04, 2007 07:33 PM

A RISD grad done good.

Bravo, sir - anyone who scratchbuilds a fucking submarine gets mad moto-geek props from me.

elctrnicpresskit

elctrnicpresskit

Rancho Cordova, CA
September 2006

AUG 04, 2007 07:48 PM

a hipster in new york? You mean they've gotten out of the mission?

As awesome as building an old wooden sub is, if I find out he's got a single gear bicycle that will totally cancel out his cool points.

ChezGeek

ChezGeek

Port Orchard, WA
January 2004

AUG 04, 2007 08:01 PM

we all live in a hipster submarine....

reprobate

reprobate

New Orleans, LA
December 2002

AUG 04, 2007 08:10 PM

Cassiel said:
RI School of Design graduate?

yep, hipster.



I repeat, dude built a fucking submarine. Hipsters don't build anything, they idolize people who actually create until too many other hipsters idolize them too then they rant about how much idol X sucks and is overrated.

Do you have any idea how much work it is to even find a place in NY big enough to build a submarine?

ardour

ardour

Canada
March 2006

AUG 04, 2007 08:59 PM

Did he build it?. I saw a TV show recently where a few were built. I think it'd be easier to just get one of those.

wtk10025

wtk10025

New York, NY
November 2006

AUG 05, 2007 09:34 AM

News reports I have seen stated that he was cited for operating an unsafe craft--which would tend to indicate it was, in most important respects, a pretty faithful replica of a civil war era sub. ARRR!!!

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

AUG 05, 2007 09:51 AM

reprobate said:

Cassiel said:
RI School of Design graduate?

yep, hipster.



I repeat, dude built a fucking submarine. Hipsters don't build anything, they idolize people who actually create until too many other hipsters idolize them too then they rant about how much idol X sucks and is overrated.

Do you have any idea how much work it is to even find a place in NY big enough to build a submarine?


It wasn't a working submarine. Wasn't self-propelled, and wasn't ever fully submerged. It was more of a floating buoy.

The guy has actually built a lot of cool shit, though. He's hip, but not a hipster.

SonOfAPunk

SonOfAPunk

Maple Ridge, BC
January 2006

AUG 05, 2007 05:10 PM

punk said:

reprobate said:
1. Dude built a submarine.

2. Dude built a submarine.

3. Hipsters don't build fucking submarines.

Drive up rents because mommy and daddy "help out", sure. Ruin bars by driving out the real people who make them interesting, likewise. Popularize retro retread bands as "original" because of not having heard of Magazine or Japan or even Roxy Music, of course. Submarines? There is no such thing as a hipster submarine.



Dude, a Revolutionary war era submarine is totally retro.



Ummm... That famed yellow submarine was so hip it couldn't see past it's own pelvis.

And for the record: "SUB-PAR PUNS!"

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