A group of New Zealand vegans are taking their dietary choices to bed. In a brand-spanking new phenomenon being called "vegansexuality," some animal-friendly Kiwis are choosing "not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals."

Okay, hang on just a minute, here. I'm a strict vegetarian—a vegan, for all intents and purposes (any animal products that make their way into my diet do so accidentally, at this point), and while I'm not too keen on swapping saliva with my boyfriend just after he's eaten a big, juicy burger, I find this vegansexuality thing to be verging on the absurd. Unless these vegansexuals are engaging in some kind of cannibalistic, Praying Mantis-inspired sex, I don't really see what the problem is. You're not eating your partner, are you? You're not wearing a jacket or a pair of shoes made out of your partner, right?

The revelation of this new little movement came through the research of Annie Potts, co-director of the New Zealand Centre for Human and Animal Studies at Canterbury University.

Their bodies are made up of animal carcasses? That's just ridiculous. While I can understand being hesitant about romantic involvement with a meat-eater due to potential health issues like heart disease, hypertension, and colon cancer, viewing their bodies as "made up of animal carcasses" is taking it a bit far. I picture a zombie-like creature with a ham hock for a heart and chickens feet for eyes.

"Sorry, I don't do the hot beef injection, but I do give great cabbage head."