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  • WEDNESDAY AUGUST 1 2007 4:00 PM

"Vegansexuals" Say No to Hot Beef Injection

Submitted by Rahodeb

Edited by Rahodeb

Tags: Vegansexual, Hot Beef Injection, Animal Carcasses, New Zealand



A group of New Zealand vegans are taking their dietary choices to bed. In a brand-spanking new phenomenon being called "vegansexuality," some animal-friendly Kiwis are choosing "not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals."

One vegan respondent from Christchurch said: "I believe we are what we consume, so I really struggle with bodily fluids, especially sexually."

Another Christchurch vegan said she found non-vegans attractive, but would not want to be physically close to them.

"I would not want to be intimate with someone whose body is literally made up from the bodies of others who have died for their sustenance," she said.

Okay, hang on just a minute, here. I'm a strict vegetarian—a vegan, for all intents and purposes (any animal products that make their way into my diet do so accidentally, at this point), and while I'm not too keen on swapping saliva with my boyfriend just after he's eaten a big, juicy burger, I find this vegansexuality thing to be verging on the absurd. Unless these vegansexuals are engaging in some kind of cannibalistic, Praying Mantis-inspired sex, I don't really see what the problem is. You're not eating your partner, are you? You're not wearing a jacket or a pair of shoes made out of your partner, right?

The revelation of this new little movement came through the research of Annie Potts, co-director of the New Zealand Centre for Human and Animal Studies at Canterbury University.

Cruelty-Free Consumption in New Zealand: A National Report on the Perspectives and Experiences of Vegetarians and other Ethical Consumers asked 157 people nationwide about everything from battery chickens to sexual preferences.

Many female respondents described being attracted to people who ate meat, but said they did not want to have sex with meat-eaters because their bodies were made up of animal carcasses.

"It's a whole new thing – I have not come across it before," said Potts.

Their bodies are made up of animal carcasses? That's just ridiculous. While I can understand being hesitant about romantic involvement with a meat-eater due to potential health issues like heart disease, hypertension, and colon cancer, viewing their bodies as "made up of animal carcasses" is taking it a bit far. I picture a zombie-like creature with a ham hock for a heart and chickens feet for eyes.

"When you are vegan or vegetarian, you are very aware that when people eat a meaty diet, they are kind of a graveyard for animals," she said.

"Sorry, I don't do the hot beef injection, but I do give great cabbage head."

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Comments
Tiger_Fodder

Tiger_Fodder

Braintree, MA
June 2007

AUG 01, 2007 07:05 PM

s5 said:
yay, more media coverage that shows vegans as "extreme" or "crazy" or "terrorists". I guess the knuckle-dragging right wing started running out of people who would lap up their gay hating hot air, so next up, vegans.

puke



As a vegetarian married to a chef that eats and cooks meat, I can say that this is not a view that many of us (vegans/vegetarians) have. Clearly, extremists of any kind are idiots!

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

AUG 01, 2007 07:05 PM

910dohead said:
Man, that's too bad...
As I type, I'm actually involved in a sexual act with a brick of cheese.


I'm assuming swiss?

I mean....everyone knows that Velveta just cakes up under your ballsack.

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

AUG 01, 2007 07:09 PM

I really wouldn't be interested in fucking somebody that petulant anyway.

Zombox5000

Zombox5000

Abingdon, VA
July 2005

AUG 01, 2007 07:09 PM

Absolutely inane...

seanbonner

seanbonner

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

AUG 01, 2007 07:26 PM

As a vegan for going on 14 years now, I can easily say this is the most retarded thing I've heard all day.

Odette

Odette

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

AUG 01, 2007 07:32 PM

PatrickY said:
I think a woman saying "I can't fuck you, you're a pillar of meat" would make me feel all primal



"pillar of meat'

thats hot

Im a vegan and I've never dated another vegan. Probably because most of the vegan men I've met are self righeous and whiney. You know, like the people in this article. People like that give veganism a bad name, making everyone think we're all that crazy.


Great article.

P.S.: The image of a squash trying to eat a cheeseburger? slightly wrong. so odd.

killanalog

killanalog

Chicago, IL
September 2006

AUG 01, 2007 07:35 PM

PatrickY said:
I think a woman saying "I can't fuck you, you're a pillar of meat" would make me feel all primal, like I were both Conan and Tarzan simultaneously, all corded muscle and sweaty fury, a mirrored self battling across a steaming jungle plain.

While thunder roared above and drum beats swelled from the depths, naturally.

I think I need to catch a flight to New Zealand.



+1

killanalog

killanalog

Chicago, IL
September 2006

AUG 01, 2007 07:36 PM

Odette said:

Im a vegan and I've never dated another vegan. Probably because most of the vegan men I've met are self righeous and whiney. You know, like the people in this article. People like that give veganism a bad name, making everyone think we're all that crazy.



it's funny- for the most part i adhere to a vegan diet as well, but i'd never CALL myself a vegan. why? because vegans are totally batshit crazy. smile

MrKingMob

MrKingMob

Chicago, IL
January 2003

AUG 01, 2007 07:41 PM

Teyla said:
I can't stand people who make a political statement out of every fucking thing they do.




Yeah, like this Gandhi guy... What a PRICK!!:

"Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed."

BlackJaqSullivan

BlackJaqSullivan

San Antonio, TX
July 2007

AUG 01, 2007 07:47 PM

If one follows the logic presented - that people who
eat meat are as a result of that diet nothing more
than the reanimated corpses of slain animals and,
therefore, sexy but off-limits sexually (did anybody
else catch that part of the article?) - one must
reach the conclusion that cows - since they consume
only vegetables - are not meaty animals, but are
in fact a supervegetable.

Pandapeep

Pandapeep

Miamisburg, OH
March 2006

AUG 01, 2007 07:49 PM

sitaramdas said:
huh,

now, I'm a vegetarian, and I pretty much only sleep with vegetarians. (sometimes a sushi eater will get through) I don't feel very self righteous about it, maybe the same kind of vague self rigeousness that I feel about not sleeping with hard drug users. I'm kind of into minimizing the harm and violence that i cause to other creatures. I realize that I can't eliminate it, but i like to do what I can. I don't just fuck any skank that will have me, and I have some standards. I am really attracted to women who feel a far reaching kindness to all beings, who like to minimize the harm and violence they cause to all creatures. If a women eats meat, Its a pretty good indication that this isn't really something that she thinks about all that much. just like if a woman shoots dope into her twat, she probably isn't really into heath and well being and longevity and being a contributing member of society.

It seems really interesting how bent out of shape people get when their subtle violence is put in their face.

peace out, yo



People can, and do, care about animals even though they eat meat. And don't you think eating some that has been a viable part of the human diet since.. oh I don't know, existence, some that has helped add fat and protein content to the brain that allows you to speak, type ect. to hard drugs is a little extreme?

You don't wanna chow down on a tasty cheeseburger or a medium rare steak. That's fine, more for me.

TerdFerguson

TerdFerguson

Tucson, AZ
November 2004

AUG 01, 2007 07:50 PM

Are they serious? I have even less respect for vegans now.

Stiles

Stiles

Oakland, CA
November 2002

AUG 01, 2007 07:54 PM

jjt1986 said:
Are they serious? I have even less respect for vegans now.



Why do you care about some stranger's choice to eat meat or not, and why would that choice cause you to have more or less respect for them?

fuckfrankie

fuckfrankie

I'm lost
October 2005

AUG 01, 2007 07:56 PM

i love the retarded politics on this site.

"oh, here's something i don't agree with, let's exaggerate every aspect of it and add some smug comments"

And I pay for this shit.

SouGei

SouGei

Blackwood, NJ
January 2007

AUG 01, 2007 07:58 PM

The first thing I do when I meet someone is to let them know I'm a Suicidegirlnewscommentatan and demand they respect my Suicidegirlnewscommentallity, or fuck them.

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